Euro 2008: Day 9

Turkey 3-2 Czech Republic
What a way to kick off the final round of group games. Turkey were on the verge of elimination, down 2-0 with 15 minutes to go, but they put together an amazing comeback to beat the Czechs, including two goal in the last three minutes.

It was a nervy opening to the game, with a couple Turkish players booked in the first 10 minutes. There were a few chances for both sides, but the Czechs had the better of the first half. And they took the lead after about half an hour through Jan Koller -- picked instead of Milan Baros for this match -- who opened the scoring with a characteristic header from Zdenek Grygera's cross.

Turkey started the second half more strongly -- an acrobatic scissor kick by Nihat Kahveci that went wide of the target, a good save by Petr Cech to snatch the ball off Nihat's forehead -- but the Czechs extended their lead. Jaroslav Plasil slid in to connect with Libor Sionko's ball in from the right wing, with Turkey indignant because they had been attempting to substitute an injured player.

But Turkey were given a boost in the 75th minute, as Arda Turan made it 2-1 with a shot from the top of the box that just snuck past Petr Cech at the near post. They really went for it after that and were rewarded with just three minutes left, as Cech fumbled a routine cross (yes, it was raining, but you expect better from somebody who's supposed to be one of the best keepers in the world) and Nihat Kahveci pounced. It looked like the game was heading to penalties to decide who would qualify for the quarter-finals, but instead Nihat scored again, through on goal -- I'm not sure if he was offside or if the Czech defence just switched off -- to curl his shot over Cech into the far corner. (Poor Petr. He deserves better, really.)

And then, as if that wasn't enough craziness: Volkan Demirel, the Turkish keeper, got himself sent off. Yes, really. On the verge of stoppage time, knowing there'll be a penalty shootout if your opponents equalize, and he decides that shoving Jan Koller is a good idea. The really excellent part is that Turkey had already used all their subs, so Tuncay ended up in goal, just to add the perfect touch of comedy to a brilliantly insane game.


Switzerland 2-0 Portugal
A thoroughly meaningless match, with Portugal already having clinched top spot in the group and Switzerland the wooden spoon. And it was as uneventful as you'd expect. I actually missed 20 minutes of the first half because my recording cut out, but I don't think I missed that much at all.

Mostly it was a lot of pointless prancing around in midfield by Portugal's B-team -- including one of those Ronaldo-esque wrapping-one-leg-behind-the-other crosses by his doppelganger Ricardo Quaresma. Portugal also had a couple of decent penalty shouts, but they were both waved off by the referee, and nobody seemed too bothered -- I think the Portuguese players were more worried about not getting their pretty white kits all dirty. The exception to this was Paulo Ferreira, one of only three regulars to retain his place, who had to be hauled off before halftime to stop him being sent off, after a nasty tackle on Valon Behrami. Actually, there were quite a few yellow cards for what should have been a relatively peaceful game.

Switzerland did start to push forward more in the second half, once they'd figured out that (a) Portugal was too busy faffing around to actually score goals and (b) Ricardo was having a shaky game in goal. They were rewarded for their effort when Hakan Yakin scored in the 70th minute, a good finish through the keeper's legs after a long ball forward that was flicked on by Eren Derdiyok. Yakin added a second goal 80 minutes later with a penalty after Tranquillo Barnetta was fouled by Fernando Meira. The Swiss fans were delirious, as their team was able to finish the tournament with a tiny smidgen of dignity.

As for Portugal, it's possible that they'll be unsettled by the loss -- not to mention all the foofaraw about Phil Scolari moving to Chelsea -- and lose momentum, but I think they have enough natural arrogance to carry them through regardless.


Next up: Portugal will play whoever finishes second in Group B in the first quarter-final on Thursday, while Turkey face Croatia on Friday

Bad hair of the day award: Miguel Veloso, who looks remarkably like a rooster

Euro 2008: Day 5

Portugal 3-1 Czech Republic
Cristiano Ronaldo and co. have made easy work of the group stages so far. They got off to a good start in this game as well, with an early goal. Ronaldo was played into the box via a one-two with Nuno Gomes; Petr Cech did well to just barely tip the ball away from him, but it fell to Deco and he scrambled it across the goal line. Libor Sionko equalized for the Czech Republic less than 10 minutes later, getting up well to power in a header from a corner.

The Czechs certainly looked more lively than they did against Switzerland in their opening game, but they weren't effective enough up front. Apparently we got the Premiership Milan Baros (i.e., lots of headless chicken running) rather than the Euro 2004 version that actually knows how to put the ball in the net. I suppose it didn't help that he was pretty isolated up front. Anyway, in the absence of goals, much of the middle section of the game involved niggly fouls, people randomly falling over and whining at the ref, and Portuguese players preening in their skintight white kits. I have to admit, they kind of looked nice with Ronniecakes' shiny green boots.

Speaking of preening: Ronaldo, after 63 minutes, scoring the winning goal for Portugal. They were awarded yet another free kick, and this one was sent wide to Deco, who set up Ronaldo at the top of the box, and he slotted it through a crowd of defenders and past the keeper. And then followed that up a little while later by squabbling with Simao over who'd get to take a free kick. Silly boy, doesn't he know that it's always Ronaldo's turn to shank it into the wall? The Czechs had a few more chances to pull themselves back into the game, but couldn't take advantage. Instead Portugal added a third goal in stoppage time, after a quick free kick that set Ronaldo free behind the defence. He drew Petr Cech out and then squared it to Ricardo Quaresma for an easy finish. It wasn't all about Ronaldo in this game -- Deco, for one, played very well too -- but it is hard to look past the gel-monkey right now.


Turkey 2-1 Switzerland
This could have been a very dull match (I didn't watch the whole thing, actually), but it was enlivened by the torrential rain that turned the pitch into a gigantic slip-and-slide. Switzerland opened the scoring after half an hour with a long ball to Eren Derdiyok, who rounded the keeper and then squared it to Hakan Yakin -- only for the ball to stop in a puddle along the way before he could poke it over the line.

They weren't able to hold on to their lead, though. Substitute Senturk Semih equalized for Turkey partway through the second half, attacking a cross from the left and getting up ahead of the defender for the header. Switzerland still had hopes of hanging on for a draw, but they were sucker-punched by a Turkish counter-attack in stoppage time, as Turan Arda's shot from the edge of the box was deflected past Diego Benaglio in goal. It was a devastating result for the Swiss, who have had absolutely no luck in this tournament. Unfortunately, they lacked the firepower up front to take advantage of Turkey's periodic defensive lapses -- Yakin, for example, missed a great chance just after the first goal. I am a bit disappointed by the lack of post-game fighting, but I guess they were all just too waterlogged.


Anyway, Switzerland have been eliminated, while Portugal have guaranteed their spot in the quarter-finals as group winners. The Czech Republic and Turkey face each other in their final group game to decide which of them will move on. They both have identical records so far, which means that the winner goes through; if there's a tie, it will be decided by penalty kicks, according to UEFA:

Should two teams or more from the same group finish with an equal number of points, they will be ranked based on the following criteria:

- Number of points earned in matches between the teams in question;
- Goal difference in matches between the teams in question;
- Goals scored in matches between the teams in question;
- Goal difference in all group matches;
- Goals scored in all group matches;
- * In cases where exactly two teams are equal in all previously listed criteria and play one another to a draw in their final group match, kicks from the penalty mark will be conducted in lieu of the remaining criteria;
- UEFA coefficient;
- Fair play conduct of the teams in the group stage;
- Drawing of lots.

Next up in Group A: Turkey v. Czech Republic and Portugal v. Switzerland, both kicking off at 2:30 pm on Sunday

Bad hair of the day award: The Czech's Tomas Ujfalusi, for a combination of long, lank hair and a sketchy goatee that makes him look like he belongs in a biker bar

Euro 2008: Day 1

Czech Republic 1-0 Switzerland
So, not a bad game to kick off the tournament. The Swiss may not be one of the favoured teams, but they gave a good account of themselves overall, despite the loss. The Czechs took a while to get going, and although they had more quality than their opponents, I'd say they were lucky to come away with a win, and they needed a few good saves from Petr Cech to keep them in the game.

Switzerland, meanwhile, had a terrible bit of luck when captain Alexander Frei went down with a knee injury just before halftime. He had to leave the game, and -- as you could probably guess from his devastated reaction -- his tournament is over as well. That's a huge blow, because you have to wonder who's going to score their goals now, with only two proper strikers left in the squad. And that proved to be the problem in the second half, as despite a strong performance from the Swiss, it was the Czechs who eventually took the lead after 70 minutes. The ball was headed back in past the Swiss defence and Vaclav Sverkos, who'd come on earlier for Jan Koller -- ran on to it to score.

More bad luck for Switzerland: they probably should have had a penalty for a handball by Tomas Ujfalusi late in the second half, but instead the referee played on, and first Tranquillo Barnetta had his shot brilliantly saved by Cech, and then Johan Vonlanthen whacked the rebound off the crossbar. Anyway, the result doesn't bode well for their chances of progressing from the group. The Czech Republic, meanwhile, will have to step up their game a bit -- i.e., come up with something other than lumping the ball up to Koller -- if they want to get past Turkey and/or Portugal.


Portugal 2-0 Turkey
Apparently this is what you do if you're suffering from a lack of strikers: get your goals from your central defenders. Pepe opened the scoring against Turkey in the 60th minute after a rampaging run up the middle of the pitch, playing a one-two with Nuno Gomes to get into the box and finishing well under pressure from the Turkish defender. And it was fitting that he was the one to score, after seeing an earlier header ruled out for a (correct but very close) offside call. Substitute Raul Meireles added a second goal for Portugal in stoppage time after a well-worked move, fed by Joao Moutinho on the edge of the box.

It was a pretty open, entertaining game to watch, with both teams more interested in attacking -- or, in Turkey's case, pressing forward and then throwing themselves to the ground instead of shooting -- than defending. As for you-know-who, Turkey seemed to be double- and triple-teaming him, but he still showed a few flashes of brilliance, and was involved in the buildup to both goal. His most notable contribution was probably a dangerous free kick in the first half that was just barely tipped onto the post by Volkan. That, and possibly pouting when he realized that Simao's jersey was even more skin-tight than his own.

Anyway, a much better start to the tournament for Portugal than last time around, when they lost to eventual champions Greece in the opening game. Turkey will feel that they have a decent shot at surviving the group, but they have to learn to take their chances -- they had only one shot on target -- rather than just falling over.


Next up in Group A: Turkey v. Switzerland and Portugal v. Czech Republic, both on Wednesday

Bad hair of the day award: Valon Behrami of Switzerland, who seems to have been a bit too enthusiastic with the Lady Clairol highlighting kit.

Euro 2008 Preview: Group A

Ah yes, it's that time again, when I decide to make predictions about the outcome of a major tournament and invariably turn out to be completely wrong. Woo.

The Euros are interesting because you don't get too many small teams who are just there to make up the numbers, like you do in a World Cup – indeed, the weakest team here are probably co-hosts Austria. That makes it more likely that some of the big teams could be knocked out in the group stages, while an underdog goes on to win it all, like Greece did in 2004. (Although I don't think that's likely this time.)

One other point to note is the bizarre way that the teams have been seeded in the groups: The four seeds are Switzerland and Austria, the two co-hosts; defending champions Greece; and the Netherlands, based on the unfathomable UEFA coefficients. With Switzerland, Austria and Greece all guaranteed a top seed, it was actually better to finish second rather than first in your qualifying group, because it gave you a chance of drawing them in the group stages. Anyway, on to those groups:

GROUP A: Czech Republic, Portugal, Switzerland, Turkey

Portugal should be able to win the group without too much trouble, and will probably make it as far as the semi-finals. On paper you'd expect the Czech Republic to finish second, but Switzerland could ride their home support into the knockout stages. Not that it matters much anyway, because whoever comes second will probably just lose to Germany in the quarter-finals.

CZECH REPUBLIC
FIFA rank: 6
Odds of winning: 18-1
Coach: Karel Bruckner
How they got here: Qualified first in their group, surprisingly ahead of Germany
Past record: Lost to Greece in the semi-finals at Euro 2004; eliminated in the group stage at the 2006 World Cup
Questions to ask:

• Who will step up to replace injured captain Tomas Rosicky?
  
• How important will Petr Cech's performance be? And will he make it through the tournament without being kicked in the head?
  
• Will we get the Euro 2004 Milan Baros – the tournament's top scorer – or the more familiar Premiership Baros, who tends to run around like a headless chicken and miss easy goals?

Why to cheer for them: You have a soft spot for big Jan Koller, an old-fashioned target man who is basically the Czech version of Danny Dichio

PORTUGAL
FIFA rank: 9
Odds of winning: 7-1
Coach: Big Phil Scolari
How they got here: Qualified second in their group, behind Poland
Past record: Lost to Greece in the final of Euro 2004 and to France in the semi-final at the 2006 World Cup
Questions to ask:

• Can Cristiano Ronaldo carry the team, or will he collapse under the weight of his own ego?
  
• With Pauleta's retirement, do they have anyone who can lead the line effectively?
  
• Will Deco pull himself away from partying for long enough to pull the strings for them in midfield?

Why to cheer for them: You have fond memories of their game against Holland at the last World Cup and are hoping for similar fireworks this time. Maybe Phil Scolari can punch somebody again.

SWITZERLAND
FIFA rank: 48
Odds of winning: 25-1
Coach: Kobi Kuhn
How they got here: Qualified automatically as co-hosts
Past record: Bottom of their group at Euro 2004; went out in the round of 16 at the 2006 World Cup
Questions to ask:

• Can they reproduce their defensive form from the World Cup, when they didn't concede a goal in open play?
  
• Have they gotten any better at penalties since then? Because that penalty shootout against Ukraine was the worst I've ever seen, and I say that as an England fan.
  
• Actually, do they have anyone who can score goals, period?

Why to cheer for them: You want to see Philippe Senderos smile for once.

Turkey
FIFA rank: 25
Odds of winning: 40-1
Coach: Fatih Terim
How they got here: Qualified second in their group, just ahead of Norway
Past record: Didn't qualify for Euro 2004, and lost to Switzerland in a playoff to qualify for the 2006 World Cup
Questions to ask:

• They shocked everybody by finishing third at the 2002 World Cup; could they do that again?
  
• Do they have enough quality in midfield and up front to compensate for their dodgy back line and erratic goalkeeping?
  
• Will they start another post-game rumble with the Swiss, like they did after that 2006 playoff game?

Why to support them: They probably have the most insane fans, so that's always fun.

Things we have learned from the World Cup this week

• Losing on a last-minute penalty is probably the shittiest way ever to go out of the World Cup. I wasn't a huge fan of the Socceroos going into the tournament -- due partly to their inexplicable connection with John Travolta -- but you've got to feel for them. Particularly Harry Kewell, who apparently missed their final game because he was struck down with gout. Yes, gout. Like he's Henry VIII or something?
  
  
• Switzerland make England look like a penalty-taking machine by comparison. Apart from that, they're extremely boring to watch, especially without Philippe Senderos running around all bloody.
  
  
• Half the guys on the Ukraine team are named Andriy. What is up with that?
  
  
• Brazil don't have to play pretty football to win. They just win. (Bastards.) Apparently this is fine for Brazil, whereas for England it sets off a national crisis.
  
  
• I should have known that cheering for Spain was a bad idea. I blithely ignored all that talk about them being perennial underachievers, because they actually had a good team this year. They cruised through the group stage, and I started to really believe they could do it. And then what happened? They choked like the big choking chokers they are.
  
  
• If Thierry Henry really believes that diving makes you a woman, then he should be out shopping for some new sports bras right about now.
  
  
• Yes, I'm still bitter.

Meanwhile, Information Builders has been compiling the World Cup statistics that really matter. I'm sure you'll all be shocked to learn that Italy leads the tournament in diving, while Holland is #1 for tantrums. (Link from World Cup Blog.)

And now, I have to go figure out what to do with my fantasy football team. I'm tempted to sell all the English players, because then they'd probably win just to spite me.