U20 World Cup: Semi-finals

Austria 0-2 Czech Republic
Chile 0-3 Argentina.

Well, that was ugly.

I'm referring mostly to the post-game scenes at the Argentina-Chile match last night. Some of the Chilean players, understandably not happy about two of their teammates having been sent off, squared up to the referee, who had to be escorted off the pitch by the police. And it got worse after that. It's not really clear what made everything kick off -- there's supposed to be another press conference later today -- but basically, some of the Chileans got into a scuffle with the police as they were boarding their team bus outside the stadium. (There's a fuzzy YouTube video here, but if you can tell what's going on, your eyes are better than mine.) It ended up with one of them getting tasered, several being handcuffed, and the team taken back into the dressing room to be detained. Nice.

As for the game itself? Well, that wasn't too pretty either. It started well enough, with chances for both sides, before Argentina's opening goal: a through ball to Angel di Maria, and a beautiful first-time finish that crashed in off the inside of the post. But a few minutes later it got worse for Chile, as Gary Medel was sent off for kicking out at Gabriel Mercado.

After that a little bit of football actually managed to break out, but basically the game was a flurry of fouls, yellow cards, and players rolling around in feigned agony. The Argentines were particularly good at this -- I'm sure the senior team would be very proud of them -- but the Chileans weren't exactly innocent victims either. Here is the thing: you can play hard, possibly even dirty, or you can bitch and whine about being fouled. You cannot do both. No, you can't. Because I said so, that's why.

I think the referee, Wolfgang Stark, really didn't help matters. He set a precedent by pulling out a yellow card for practically the first foul of the night, and once he'd sent off Medel (a debatable call, because Mercado kicked out at him as well; Mercado just happened to be the one on the ground pretending he'd got hit in the face), it was all downhill from there. Chile had another player sent off in the 77th minute for picking up two yellows -- it's hard to tell, from the cluster of players around the ref, but I'm assuming the second was for dissent. And, yes, that's a stupid thing to get booked for, but you can kind of understand their frustration by that point. The one Chilean player who stood out for me was the goalkeeper, Toselli, who's also their captain and did his best trying to keep his team calm. Oh, but he got booked for his troubles as well.

There were a couple other goals for Argentina -- Claudio Jacob converting a cross from Maxi Moralez, and then Moralez adding another one in stoppage time -- but the whole game just left a bad taste in my mouth.

The Austria-Czech Repulic match on Wednesday night was relatively calm by comparison. But then again, it also bored the crap out of me. The Czechs were up 2-0 after 15 minutes, with goals from Tomas Micola and Martin Fenin, and were happy to just sit back and fend off Austria for the rest of the game. The Czech Republic had the advantage of having stayed in Edmonton after their quarter-final match, while Austria had flown in from Toronto and were also missing a bunch of key players through suspensions and injuries. Erwin Hoffer started up front for Austria, but all he did was prove that he's much more effective coming on as a sub.

Anyway, I've decided that I'll be cheering for the Czech Republic in the final on Sunday. I can't support Argentina after all the nastiness yesterday, not to mention, well, they're Argentina. Plus, how can you not love the Czechs for celebrating their victory by (1) making a train across the pitch and (2) putting on deely-boppers?

And speaking of ugliness, yes, it's the Bad Hair of the Day award. I was going to give it to Chile's Christian Suarez for his half-cornrows, but then I saw his teammate Mathias Vidangossy, who has managed to combine a fauxhawk-cum-mullet and a few straggly rattails with a really unfortunate dye job that makes him look like he's got a rust-coloured opossum on his head. A truly stellar achievement.

U20 World Cup Round of 16: July 11

Austria 2-1 Gambia
USA 2-1 Uruguay (aet)
Spain 4-2 Brazil (aet)
Japan 2-2 Czech (3-4 on penalties)

Yay, Spain! I was sure I'd jinxed them when they gave up two goals in about two minutes in the first half. But the U20s apparently haven't learned how to choke yet. They pulled one back before halftime, as Gerard Pique bundled a free kick into the net with his arm (but let's not dwell on that), and got a late equalizer from another free kick, taken quickly by Javi Garcia to catch Brazilian keeper Cassio off guard.

Brazil had a couple good chances in extra time, but it was Spain who scored first, and the Brazilians then went down to 10 men as Lima was sent off for dissent. With the numerical advantage, Spain kept pressing and wore Brazil down, scoring again in the 120th minute to kill them off and ensure that I still have somebody to cheer for.

Actually, all four of the games yesterday were pretty entertaining. The USA went behind to Uruguay early on, but tied it up with an own-goal late in the game, and then Michael Bradley scored in extra time to refute the accusations of nepotism and almost make me like his team momentarily. (And then there was a brawl after the final whistle, because it seems that Uruguay are really, really bad losers.)

Austria took the lead against Gambia, who once again had a man sent off but still managed to equalize, before Erwin "Jimmy" Hoffa* came off the bench to clinch the win for Austria. And Japan was up 2-0 against the Czech Republic, but then gave up two spot-kicks in three minutes and went on to lose on penalties, in an enthralling battle of shaved heads versus extravagant anime hair.**

* This is really what they call him. Hee.

** Best hair of the day, though, goes to the USA's Andre Akpan, although sadly I can't find a decent picture of the giant burnt sienna fro he was rocking. EDIT: Thanks to YNBA, here it is, in all its dubious glory.

The good, the bad, and the ugly

Right, so, I come back from vacation only to discover that Steven Gerrard has done something new and grotesque to his hair, and Liverpool has lost to fucking Bolton.

I'm not convinced that these two things are unrelated.

But I am absurdly pleased that:

1. Scott Parker has been called up for England, and
   
   
2. Ole Gunnar Soslkjaer is scoring again for Man United.

I want to bake them both cookies or something.

World Cup, part deux

World Cup Hair Watch:

• Czech Republic substitute Jan Polak made a valiant effort to challenge for the Bad Hair Award, but the combination fauxhawk-mullet is sadly played out. Yes, already.
  
• I think we may have to declare a winner, actually, after seeing the wonderfully named Loco of Angola, who's shaved his entire head except for a braided fringe at the front. It's sort of reminiscent of Ronaldo in 2002, but much, much worse.
  
• Francesco Totti, meanwhile, has cut his hair and is practically unrecognizable (meaning, I almost find him attractive now).
  
• And Liverpool fans will be relieved to note that Harry Kewell has cut off his stupid ponytail, which is a vast improvement. He also managed to make it through all 90 minutes of yesterday's game without crumpling with a groin injury -- maybe all that hair was weighing him down before?

Other burning questions:

• Are they really playing "Go West" by the Pet Shop Boys at the end of every match? Why, for the love of god, why?
  
• If the players are complaining about the weather being too hot, why are half of them wearing long-sleeved shirts? I know footballers aren't supposed to be that bright, but come on. Also, Cristiano Ronaldo seemed to have cut slits in the sleeves of his jersey, for no apparent reason other than to make himself look like a bigger prat than usual.
  
• Speaking of perplexing team uniforms, why did Puma design kits for the Azzurri that make them look like they've got permanent pit stains?

Oh, yeah, there were some football matches too.

• Serbia & Montenegro 0-1 Holland: Arjen Robben is a prick, but damn if he can't play football when he wants to. It's infuriating, actually. As for Serbia & Montenegro (soon to be just Serbia), their defence was solid enough to keep the Oranje out for the most part, but I don't think their attack is good enough to take them deep into the tournament.
  
  
• Mexico 3-1 Iran: The 3-1 scoreline makes this game sound a lot more exciting than it actually was. I mean, it wasn't as bad as England-Paraguay or anything, but then again neither is my rec league.
  
  
• Angola 0-1 Portugal: Angola seemed to have stage fright for the first five minutes or so, but after that they settled down and stopped making Portugal look nearly so good (or, at least, they stopped letting Figo, who is not exactly known for his pace, burst past their defenders). Best moment of the match: the commentator noting, when Cristiano Ronaldo got substituted, that he looked like he was "about to throw his teddy bear out of the pram."
  
  
• USA 0-3 Czech Republic: I am a little too gleeful about this one. The Czechs played very well -- they might even justify their #2 FIFA ranking -- but the USA at #5 is a joke. The Americans had plenty of possession but never looked dangerous when they got near the goal. In other news, Arsene Wenger now looks like a genius for buying Tomas Rosicky, and Bruce Arena somehow doesn't even have to open his mouth for me to want to smack him in the face.
  
  
• Italy 2-0 Ghana: Michael Essien was much more impressive for Ghana than he has been so far for Chelsea -- possibly because he didn't spend the entire game either trying to cover for Frank Lampard or making ugly tackles. Italy looked fairly solid -- based on their play, they seem to be doing a good job of ignoring the match-fixing scandal -- but their strikers aren't quite clicking, as you can tell by the fact that it took a Steven-Gerrard-to-Thierry-Henry-esque backpass to give them the second goal.
  
  
• Australia 3-1 Japan: How much do you wish that Guus Hiddink was going to be the next England coach? Now this is a man who knows how to use substitutes to turn a game around.

World Cup update

It's day three of the World Cup and I've managed to watch every game so far. I don't know how long I'll be able to keep this up, seeing as I have, you know, an actual job, but for the moment it's great.

Things we have learned in the past two days:

• Currently leading the pack in the World Cup Bad Hair competition is Sweden's Christian Wilhelmsson with his lopsided rattail (reminiscent of New Kids on the Block circa 1989; unfortunately I haven't been able to find a good picture), followed by fauxhawked Bastian Schweinsteiger of Germany and the entire Argentine team.
  
  
• The vampire who refereed the England-Paraguay game really had it in for Peter Crouch, who constantly got fouls called against him for, as far as I could tell, simply being tall and gangly. Maybe the ref just doesn't like the robot dance.
  
  
• Half the Trinidad and Tobago players seem to have their first and last names backward. Poland has the best names so far, though, with players called "Bonk" and "Yop" (I'm probably not spelling those right, but I'm too lazy to look them up).

In my attempt at more serious analysis (ha!):

• Germany 4-2 Costa Rica: I know Jurgen Klinsmann has been trying to make Germany a more attacking team, but I didn't realize that meant giving them a complete personality transplant. Scoring four goals is great and all, but their back line was so shaky it'd make Newcastle look good by comparison.
  
  
• Poland 0-2 Ecuador: Actually, I fell asleep watching this one. I think it's probably better that way.
  
  
• England 1-0 Paraguay: England, on the other hand, haven't had a personality transplant at all, no matter how much Sven tried to fool us with his squad selection. You know the pattern: Eke out a lead and then hold on like grim death (two words: Owen Hargreaves. Which is not so much "grim death" as "mild case of stomach flu," but anyway). At least they did manage to win withough actually scoring a goal, so that's...good? I guess?
  
  
• Sweden 0-0 Trinidad & Tobago: The upset of the tournament so far (I realize it's only day three, and it was actually a tie, but humour me here). Looking at it as an England fan, this is a great result, but on the other hand, if England play worse when they come up against mediocre opponents (see: England v. Paraguay, among others), then their game against Sweden next week is going to be awful.
  
  
• Argentina 2-1 Cote d'Ivoire: The first game from the group of death (yes, America, it's Group C, not Group E, no matter how much you whine) so I figured it had to be good. The Ivory Coast have a fair bit of talent -- not to mention tons of pace -- but Argentina have even more talent and looked very disciplined. If they keep playing like this, they're going to go far in the tournament. And that'll bug me, because it turns out my dislike for Diego Maradona is even greater than my annoyance with Didier Drogba.

Also, I have to give props (can I even say that, or am I just too white?) to Sportsnet and TSN for their coverage so far. Just look at the TV schedule: that is a thing of beauty. They're airing everything live, and rerunning every game at least once. (And plus there's all the games on the foreign language channels. Yay for Canadian broadcasters.) I haven't been paying a lot of attention to their pre- and post-game coverage, but at least it hasn't made me want to throw things at the TV -- until this morning, when they referred to Arjen Robben as "classy." Perhaps most importantly, they're using the British international feed, rather than ESPN, for their play-by-play commentary, for which I am profoundly grateful. And you should be too, because it means I don't have to rant about it for the next month.

(Speaking of throwing things at my TV, though: those Rogers wireless commercials where they go to Germany and find a "really cool oom-pah-pah band," etc., are on constantly and every time I hate them more. Unlike the Adidas +10 ads, which I could happily watch over and over, and yes I know that makes me a patsy to advertising but I don't care. They make Jermain Defoe play goal!)

Premiership Weekend Roundup: November 5-6

Manchester United 1-0 Chelsea
I have never been so happy to be wrong.

The game was on a channel that I don't get at home, so I headed to the pub up the street, which just happened to be full of people in United shirts. 11am kickoff + beer = perfect. Of course all the middle-aged British men in the pub felt it was necessary to warn me that there might be some foul language. I told them not to worry, because a lot of it would probably be coming from me.

Anyway, it was a great atmosphere to watch United grind out a win. It would have been good to see some more attacking flair from United -- Van Nistelrooy was pretty much useless. Ronaldo had Paulo Ferreira tied up in knots down the left wing all game, but his crosses weren't always the best -- even the one that led to Fletcher's goal looked as if it was heading out of play. But this kind of gritty performance -- particularly Alan Smith throwing himself into some crunching tackles in midfield -- is exactly what they needed. (And provided me with lots of opportunities to yell at Chelsea that they were "fucking wankers." Did I mention the 11am beer?)

So. It wasn't always pretty, but they did it. Roy Keane may have even cracked a smile.

Aston Villa 0-2 Liverpool
You know, if I'm going to drag myself out of bed at 7:30am for a game, it had better be worth watching. This one really wasn't -- certainly not for the first 75 minutes or so. I still don't see what's so great about Peter Crouch, but at least he brought the game to life.

The Guardian, as usual, says it best:

If Sky want people to pay to view any more games such as this, they should consider making Roy Keane an offer he cannot refuse to continue his career as a pundit. The Manchester United captain's observations on Harry Kewell's new hairdo would have been more entertaining than anything this match produced and Keane could also have brought to bear his withering opinions on questions such as whether Cisse offers more style than substance, where Gerrard and Alonso were supposed to be playing and whether Villa were actually aware the game had kicked off for the first half-hour.

I would also like to know how Xabi Alonso's hair manages to stay so fluffy even after 90 minutes of football. It's one of the mysteries of the universe.

Arsenal 3-1 Sunderland
If only Arsenal had lost, this would have been a perfect football weekend from my point of view. Despite my Arsenal-hate, though, I have to admit that they can play some damn pretty football -- quick, precise passes, lovely flowing movement, and deadly finishing from Thierry Henry. You have to feel a little bit sorry for Sunderland, who were clearly overmatched. Even after they scored to make it 2-1, you could tell that Arsenal were just kind of toying with them, waiting for the chance to pounce and put the game out of reach.

Portsmouth 0-2 Wigan
Does it make me a total bandwagon-jumper if I say that I am kind of rooting for Wigan now? I'm sure they know that they're hardly the best team out there, but they are certainly playing their asses off, and you have to love that.

Most annoying thing about watching the game was that Sportsnet switched over to the Fox soccer feed, which meant that in addition to the score in the top left corner and the Sportsnet bug in the bottom right corner, it also had the FSC bug in the top right corner -- plus, for part of the time, a British Airways logo, for no reason that I can see other than to piss me off. You could barely see the field under all that crap. Although it was still less annoying than The Score on Sunday, where you had to deal with not only the ticker at the bottom of the screen but also that picture-in-picture thing where the anchor has to update you about games that nobody cares about -- or, if they did care, they could find out about by reading the stupid ticker in the first place.

Other results
West Ham 1-0 West Brom
Newcastle 1-0 Birmingham
Fulham 2-1 Manchester City
Blackburn 4-1 Charlton
Everton 1-0 Middlesbrough