Premiership Weekend Roundup: October 4-5

Manchester City 2-3 Liverpool
Oh, that was just gorgeous. Ok, not Liverpool going behind 2-0 by halftime, or Xabi Alonso practically having his ankle taken off by Zabaleta. (And seriously, what is it about him that encourages people into dangerous tackles?) But everything after that was great. And even before City were reduced to 10 men, Liverpool's second-half performance was light-years removed from the way they'd played before the break. It wasn't quite an Istanbul-style comeback, but a win like this is a hyge psychological boost. If they keep pulling off stuff like this, they just might have a chance at the title -- assuming, that is, that being considered favourites doesn't make them immediately collapse.

Blackburn 0-2 Manchester United
I said when United were trying to sign Dimitar Berbatov that I didn't think it was a good idea, because he's a lazy player. And he may indeed be lazy, but I don't care anymore, because he's turned out to be a fantastic addition to the team, not only scoring goals but creating opportunities for his teammates. The score was only 2-0 but it could've been more, even if Wes Brown hadn't scored the opening goal with the help of a foul on the keeper by Nemanja Vidic.

Sunderland 1-1 Arsenal
Sunderland held Arsenal off for 85 minutes before Grant Leadbitter gave them the lead, coming on as a substitute and scoring a beautiful goal with practically his first touch of the game. It wasn't enough to give them the victory, though, as Cesc Fabregas equalized in added time -- with a header, of all things. This is especially noteworthy since (a) Cesc is roughly as tall as I am, which is to say, not very, and (b) he doesn't even have poofy hair giving him a couple of extra inches anymore.

Chelsea 2-0 Aston Villa
With Drogba injured and Anelka not 100%, apparently Chelsea are copying the "who needs strikers" strategy that Man United pioneered last season. That's nice for them. I was attempting to study for an economics quiz, so I wasn't paying much attention, apart from noting that John Terry doesn't really need to hike his shorts up that much. I'm just saying.

Other results
West Brom 1-0 Fulham
Wigan 0-1 Middlesbrough
West Ham 1-3 Bolton
Tottenham 0-1 Hull
Portsmouth 2-1 Stoke
Everton 2-2 Newcastle

Holy crap, I just realized that Hull are in third place. Hull.

Premiership Weekend Roundup: April 19-20

Blackburn 1-1 Manchester United
As I said last week, Blackburn are usually a tough team to play, but still I was hoping for more from United after Liverpool beat them the week before. I don't know if they were too keyed up, with the Premier League title almost within their grasp if they won here, but whatever the reason, they didn't start the game very well. Roque Santa Cruz put Blackburn ahead in the first half, getting between Rio Ferdinand and Nemanja Vidic, and United had to fight hard to get themselves back into the match. (Wayne Rooney, actually, took the fighting part a little too seriously, spending most of the match shouting at the referee for his perceived deficiencies.) Finally, in the 88th minute, Carlos Tevez popped up with another crucial goal, heading home from a corner. The draw at least means that even if United lose at Stamford Bridge this weekend, they can still win the title as long as they beat both Wigan and West Ham, thanks to their massively superior goal difference. But I'm nervous.

Fulham 0-2 Liverpool
Much like this fixture last year, Rafa Benitez put out a weakened lineup ahead of a crucial Champions League game, but it didn't help Fulham as they were comprehensively outplayed. I'd say that only about four of the Liverpool players are guaranteed to start tomorrow, but they all played as if they were trying to prove that they deserved a spot. Jermaine Pennant certainly might feel that he's earned a chance in place of Dirk Kuyt, as he scored the first goal and set up the second one -- although in both cases I think Kasey Keller could have done better to save them. Anyway, Liverpool have opened up an eight-point gap over Everton in the fight for fourth place, so they can relax a bit in the league, while Fulham are on the verge of relegation now.

Arsenal 2-0 Reading
With nothing much left to play for, Arsenal had an easy time of it against a lacklustre Reading side who are just hoping to survive in the Premiership. The Gunners were two goals up by halftime and could have easily had more in the second half, but were denied by the crossbar more than once. Highlight was probably the excellent performance from Theo Walcott, given a start for a change instead of coming on for a substitute. Lowlight was Alexander Hleb inexplicably smacking Graeme Murty in the face -- although the ref didn't see it. It'll be interesting to see if there's any retrospective punishment for that.

Aston Villa 5-1 Birmingham
It must really suck to be a Birmingham supporter today. Ouch. They were utterly taken apart by Villa, sparked by Ashley Young, who picked a good day to perform (um, not like that), with Fabio Capello watching. Young scored two goals, set up another for John Carew (who also bagged two), and along with Gabriel Agbonlahor, his pace was giving the Birmingham defenders fits. They did get a consolation goal in the second half, but it was cancelled out not much later as Agbonlahor scored Villa's fifth. Gareth Barry had a good game in the middle of the park, too. I can sort of understand why there are rumours floating around that Liverpool want to buy him, but don't they have a surfeit of central midfielders already?

Newcastle 2-0 Sunderland
Okay, Newcastle somehow are undefeated in the past six games. And -- even more astonishing -- they've kept a clean sheet in the last three of those. What the hell? Has Kevin Keegan given all their defenders brain transplants or something? (Maybe stem cells from Paolo Maldini?) They're doing pretty well at the other end of the pitch, too, with Michael Owen scoring six times in six games, and seeming to revel in his new role linking the midfielders and strikers. He looks revitalized -- even without the stimulus of the Euros this summer -- and I'm curious to see what Fabio Capello will do with him now.

Other results
Manchester City 3-1 Portsmouth
Middlesbrough 0-1 Bolton
West Ham 2-1 Derby
Wigan 1-1 Tottenham

Premiership Weekend Roundup: March 1-2

Bolton 1-3 Liverpool
When you are looking for your first win at Bolton in...um, a long time (I'm too lazy to look it up, sorry), it really helps if they hand you the first goal on a silver plate. Which is what happened here: a low, long-range shot from Steven Gerrard that was headed just wide until Jussi Jaaskelainen attempted to block it but somehow deflected the ball back into his own net. Having that goal gave Liverpool confidence and enabled them to pass the ball around calmly, and opened up the game as Bolton had to go looking for an equalizer. The problem is that with Nicolas Anelka gone to Stamford Bridge, they don't have much of a goal-scoring threat up front.

For Liverpool, Fernando Torres has been the main threat this season, but he had a relatively quiet game here. Ryan Babel was probably their most dangerous player; he still needs to add some variety to his repertoire, rather than cutting inside onto his right foot all the time, but he did score and terrorized the Bolton defence throughout. I'm still not convinced that Dirk Kuyt should be playing on the other wing, but he did look better today. (Maybe Rafa figures that he's not much of a goal-scorer, so you might as well play him out wide?)

One thing Liverpool need to do is work on their defending at set-pieces. People have been criticizing their zonal marking system for ages, but whereas before they were keeping plenty of clean sheets, this season they seem to be giving up a goal just about every game, and most of them are from set plays. Like the late goal they conceded here -- although at least Fabio Aurelio had given them a bit of insurance just a few minutes before, a beautiful volley for his first-ever Liverpool goal. Anyway, another three points in the bag, and now they have to do the same against West Ham on Wednesday to move back ahead of Everton into fourth place.


Fulham 0-3 Manchester United
When United start with Wayne Rooney and Cristiano Ronaldo on the bench, is that reassuring for their opponents or just insulting? It should be the latter, but I suspect Fulham were just happy that it wasn't any worse for them -- especially Paul Stalteri at right-back, who was roasted more thoroughly than any hooker at one of Ronaldo's parties (and also reminded us of why the Canadian national team is so mediocre).

United never really got out of first gear, but they didn't need to. Owen Hargreaves scored his first goal for the club with an excellent free kick. And Fulham continued their hospitality by allowing Park Ji-Sung his first goal in almost a year, followed by an own-goal to top things off. Oh, but Fulham did finally bring on two strikers in stoppage time -- a futile use of substitutions that sent the commentators I was listening to into a sort of bemused apoplexy.


Arsenal 1-1 Aston Villa
Ohh, so close! So close to a great victory for Villa -- and so close to Manchester United going top of the table on goal difference. I managed to catch the last five minutes of the game yesterday, just in time to see Nicklas Bendtner equalize for Arsenal at the very end of stoppage time. Argh. The fight-back may be a boost to them, but from my perspective, at least they only got one point from this game. And one point is also all that separates them from United in second place.

Also encouraging for rest of the league is that Villa proved that you don't have to kick to death Arsenal to beat them; you just have to out-hustle and out-think them. Arsenal looked disjointed from the outset, and although they threatened more as the game went on, they still weren't producing enough shots that really tested the keeper. (Exception: The hapless Phil Senderos, who I can't even laugh at for that own-goal, because his droopy face makes me want to pat him on the head and bake him cookies.)


West Ham 0-4 Chelsea
Hmm. At least I got to see Frank Lampard sent off. I'm still not entirely sure what the red card was for -- kicking at Luis Boa Morte as he got up from a tackle, shoving him down again afterwards, or what -- or why Boa Morte also didn't get carded for kicking out at Lampard in return. But it means three games with no chance of having to watch that obnoxious ring-kissing celebration, so whatever.

The sending-off might have been controversial, but it didn't really change the game. It was all over by that point, with three Chelsea goals in five first-half minutes: a Lampard penalty plus two sweet finishes by JOe Cole and Michael Ballack. The Chelsea team was dramatically changed from the lineup that they fielded in the Carling Cup, and looked much more effective. Makes you wonder why they left Joe Cole, for example, on the bench for so long last weekend. But then, I'm not a control-freak Russian billionaire, so what do I know about football?


Birmingham 4-1 Tottenham
I suspect that the Tottenham players are still hung over after last weekend. I mean, credit to Birmingham for a solid performance, and Spurs were admittedly fielding a weakened lineup ahead of their UEFA Cup game on Thursday, but come on. When you are giving up hat-tricks to Mikael Forssell, that is not good. Maybe we can blame the yellow kits.


Other results
Everton 3-1 Portsmouth
Derby 0-0 Sunderland
Manchester City 0-0 Wigan
Middlesbrough 0-1 Reading
Newcastle 0-1 Blackburn

Premiership Weekend Roundup: February 9-10

Manchester United 1-2 Manchester City
So, I have a theory: United decided that they wanted people to properly appreciate the tragedy of Munich. That sense of desolation that the team and the fans must have felt. And the best way to do that? Lose the derby.

If I'm being serious, I suspect that the occasion did get to them. the after-effects of an international week probably didn't help either, because they looked pretty sluggish out there. A lot of sloppy passes. Matt Busby would not have approved.

From a happier perspective, I do like those retro kits. Ryan Giggs in particular looks like he was born to wear them.

Chelsea 0-0 Liverpool
I feel like I say this about Liverpool every week, but: Out of context, a draw away to Chelsea isn't a bad result. Chelsea are very hard to beat at Stamford Bridge. The problem is that Liverpool desperately need to rack up a few wins. They're still in fifth place now, and all that talk about having a game in hand is kind of pointless because chances aren't too good that they'll actually turn that into three points.

Liverpool were probably the better team, which is not saying much as they were both mediocre. But Liverpool did at least muster up a shot on goal, which is more than Chelsea managed. It was weird: with United losing and Arsenal yet to play, you'd expect Chelsea to grab this chance to close the gap, but they didn't look like they really wanted to win the game. As for Liverpool, two words for you: Dirk Kuyt.

Aston Villa 4-1 Newcastle
Surely nobody thought that Newcastle were going to get better at defending under Keegan than they were under Allardyce, did they? Michael Owen did at least score, in an attempt to prove a point to Fabio Capello, but in the scope of this game it was pretty much futile. Poor thing.

Other results
Everton 1-0 Reading
Bolton 1-0 Portsmouth
Derby 0-3 Tottenham
Middlesbrough 1-0 Fulham
Sunderland 2-0 Wigan
West Ham 1-1 Birmingham

Premiership Weekend Roundup: October 20-21

Everton 1-2 Liverpool
Well. That was quite the game. I suppose I should be happy, seeing as it ended with a Liverpool win and Everton down to nine men. But Liverpool were bloody lucky to have won at all. The two penalties they got -- and the two red cards for Everton -- were fully deserved, but Everton could have easily had a penalty as well at the end of the game, with Jamie Carragher pulling Joleon Lescott down in the box (and can somebody tell me why Lescott could play so well yesterday and so terribly for England in midweek?). And although Liverpool created quite a few chances, they wasted almost all of them, and they should have done a lot better, considering that they had a man advantage for most of the second half.

As for Rafa's decision to take Steven Gerrard off in the 70th minute? Well, I had a whole theory that it was because he wanted to switch to a more orthodox 4-4-2, with Lucas Leiva coming on to play on the left. (It looked to me like they'd started with sort of a 4-2-3-1, with Benayoun and Voronin on the wings, and Gerrard in the hole behind Kuyt, which was mostly working but giving Lescott too much space to come forward from left-back.) So, okay, you want to leave on both strikers to keep the pressure on Everton, Benayoun's been causing them trouble all night...personally, I would've pulled Momo Sissoko because I think he had a mediocre game, but maybe Rafa figures he's got the legs for the last 20 minutes, since he didn't play in midweek?

But apparently I am totally wrong, because Rafa's now said that it was because he wanted to calm things down and hold onto the ball better. (And I'm not sure that Leiva even plays left wing.) So I still don't really get it, but I guess it worked, since Leiva would've scored the winning goal if Phil Neville's arm hadn't intervened. But I don't blame Steven for looking all pouty at the time.


Aston Villa 1-4 Manchester United
I had a bit of deja vu by the end of this game, with the two red cards and all that. The difference, though, was that unlike Liverpool, United actually played well and thoroughly deserved their win. They were a bit shaky for the first 20 minutes or so, partly due to the lightweight midfield -- starts for newbies Nani and Anderson, nobody to win the ball like Owen Hargreaves, and can somebody please remind Ryan Giggs that playing midfield means defending once in a while, not just sauntering around doing his elder statesman act?

United actually conceded the opening goal, but they'd turned things around by halftime, scoring three goals in 10 minutes to erase the deficit -- helped by some atrocious defending by Villa, and especially Zat Knight. And they could have run up the scoreline even more, with Villa down to 9 men for so much of the game. Anyway, Wayne Rooney and Carlos Tevez have set about proving the critics wrong (yes, that includes me) by demonstrating that they can play together after all -- and play together very well, too. (Although it seems that Rooney could do with some penalty-taking lessons from Dirk Kuyt.) I guess that shouldn't be such a surprise, since they're both intelligent players, and they've learned to understand each other now. And it's nice to see the team scoring bunches of goals now, unlike the beginning of the season. I wonder how much of their stuttering start this year has been due to new players bedding in -- in contrast to last year, where they were one of the few teams that didn't have many new faces and started strongly.


Arsenal 2-0 Bolton
Bolton may be without Sam Allardyce -- without a manager at all for the moment -- but this was a classic Arsenal-Bolton match, all finesse versus thuggery. Bolton did a pretty good job of keeping the Gunners quiet for the first hour or so, especially Ivan Campo against Cesc Fabregas, although they did spend most of the game camped out in their own end and only mustered a single shot -- compared to Arsenal's 19. Despite all their chances, though, Arsenal didn't break down the Bolton defense until the 67th minute, with a rocket of a free kick by Kolo Toure, followed by substitutes Theo Walcott and Tomas Rosicky combining for a second goal to put the game away. But my favourite moment of the match probably came from Emmanuel Adebayor, who had a breakaway into the box, rounded the keeper and just had to slot the ball home, but chose instead to get to the goal-line, check back and then fall over. Excellent. Somewhere in Spain, Thierry Henry is giggling.


Middlesbrough 0-2 Chelsea
This was another throwback game: a Chelsea win, ruthless but not particularly pretty, like we all got so tired of seeing under Jose Mourinho. Middlesbrough had a couple of decent spells, but overall Chelsea's patched-up defense did their job, with Alex even contributing a goal from a powerful, swerving 35-yard free kick. The game had already been decided in the first 10 minutes, though, with Didier Drogba putting the drama of the past few days aside and delivering the opening goal. Andriy "What's the Russian for teacher's pet" Shevchenko, meanwhile, got to cool his heels on the bench until he was brought on as a late substitute. I almost feel bad for him, except...nah, I really don't.


Other results
Blackburn 4-2 Reading
Wigan 0-2 Portsmouth
Manchester City 1-0 Birmingham
Fulham 0-0 Derby
West Ham 3-1 Sunderland

Premiership Weekend Roundup: September 1-2

Manchester United 1-0 Sunderland
Like the game against Tottenham last week, once again United had a buttload of possession but couldn't do much with it. Once again, they didn't play all that well but still managed to squeak out a win. Sunderland played much better than the week before against Liverpool, when they seemed to be overawed by the occasion. I didn't think Sunderland were ever likely to score this week, but they did look very likely to stop United doing so. Last year, even if the other team scored first, I didn't worry, because I figured that United would just go out and score more; this year, I don't have that same confidence in their ability to find goals.

If we've learned anything from the past couple weeks, it's that Carlos Tevez cannot play up front on his own. I don't have a problem with the 4-2-3-1 formation, actually; the problem is that you need a different sort of player as the 1. Alan Smith, for example, may be a less talented footballer than Tevez, but he was more effective last year playing with his back to goal, whereas on Saturday Tevez just dropped deeper into the midfield and ended up being invisible.

So: How good is Louis Saha looking right now? He made all the difference when he came on at halftime, not only scoring the goal -- and he'd almost scored before that, a beautiful turn and volley that unfortunately went right at the keeper -- but opening up the play so that the rest of the team had room to manouevre. I'm still not convinced that he's going to stay fit, though. Also not convincing: Chris Eagles in midfield. NOT TO MENTION THE SCULPTURED MONSTROSITY THAT IS HIS HAIR.


Liverpool 6-0 Derby
Oh, wow. That was fucking awesome. And yes, I know that Derby are very very bad, but Liverpool are also looking very very good. Fernando Torres, in particular, has responded to all those people (me included) who wondered whether he'd be able to adapt to the Premiership by saying, essentially: Bitch, please. Aside from the goals, and the link-up play, and the passing, you know what I like about him? I'd read comments criticizing him for diving and whatnot, and maybe he does fall down a little too easily, but there's no whining to the referee if he doesn't get the call. It's a foul in Spain, but it's not here. Right, on with the game.

The team doesn't appear to be missing Steven Gerrard and Jamie Carragher at all. Despite bringing in quite a few new players over the summer, they've gelled well so far. Actually, one of the things I liked best about the game this week was seeing Xabi Alonso get forward more -- if it had been Gerrard instead of Mascherano partnering him in midfield, you'd never have seen him on the edge of the box to score his second goal. Chances are it would have been Stevie G there instead, but that's not the point. The point is that I *heart* Xabi, and I would dearly love for those people talking about how he's been in a slump to just shut up.

Sorry about that; rant over. Let me finish by pointing out a few other good things in the wake of this game:

• Ryan Babel's goal. Babel's been hit-or-miss so far -- lots of skill, but he too often gets stuck in dead ends -- but the little shimmy to take the defenders out of the play and send the keeper the wrong way was sublime.
  
• Another goal for Andriy "Shevchenko who?" Voronin.
  
• Liverpool are top of the league, and look at their goal difference: nine for, two against. And those two goals against were both from penalties.

Aston Villa 2-0 Chelsea
Now I remember why I like Villa! And no, it's not just my random affection for Gareth Barry. It's the way they keep taking points off Chelsea. Say what you will about Martin O'Neill, but he's got Jose Mourinho's number. Villa did a good job of stifling Chelsea's midfield, and then using their pace to counterattack quickly. As for Chelsea, how much do they miss Frank Lampard? The thing is, though, that when I've seen him play this season, Lampard hasn't seemed to do very much. So I'm not actually sure what the explanation is for Chelsea's current haphazard play. I suppose you could put the blame on the staggeringly hideous combination of those retina-scorchingly yellow away kits and Jose Mourinho's combed-back new hair. Why he wants to suddenly look 10 years older is beyond me, but maybe he's been gazing jealously at Rafa Benitez's goatee and decided that the route to success involves radical new choices in follicular management.


Arsenal 3-1 Portsmouth
Last year I picked Cesc Fabregas for my fantasy football pool. He scored four goals all season, and I got royally screwed. This year I didn't bother entering the pool, and he's already scored four in half a dozen games. The little brat. The rest of the team around him is looking pretty good too, although perhaps not quite as good as the commentary team made them out to be; I can't be bothered looking up who it was, but they very nearly had an orgasm in the booth. Still, it's hard not to admire a team that can play a man down for almost half the game, and make it look like it's the other way around. I do feel bad for Philippe Senderos and his droopy bulldog face, though. Poor thing. It's not his fault that he's kind of clumsy; he's brainy, after all, and everybody knows that there's an inverse correlation between grace on the pitch and the ability to read books without pictures.


Other results
Blackburn 1-2 Manchester City
Bolton 1-2 Everton
Fulham 3-3 Tottenham
Middlesbrough 2-0 Birmingham
Newcastle 1-0 Wigan
Reading 0-3 West Ham

Premiership Weekend Roundup: March 17-18

Manchester United 4 - 1 Bolton
The bad: adding Gary Neville, out for three weeks with a sprained ankle, to an injury list that's already become worryingly long.

The good: everything else. United thumped Bolton 4-0 at the Reebok back in October, and repeated it at Old Trafford on Saturday, although Bolton did get a late consolation goal after a dubious penalty called against Nemanja Vidic. (Aren't Bolton supposed to be a tough team? What happened?)

Cristiano Ronaldo had one of those games where he's simply unplayable. He set up their first three goals, and after that seemed to have (justifiably) decided it was his turn to get on the scoresheet. That didn't happen, but he was a pleasure to watch nonetheless.

The second goal was the pick of the bunch: gorgeous interplay from Ronaldo and Wayne Rooney, combining to break the length of the field from a Bolton corner before Rooney finished it off with a chip over the keeper. On either side of that were two goals from Park Ji-Sung, both times showing good instincts to get into the box and finish neatly. His performance was overshadowed by Rooney and Ronaldo, though, with Rooney getting his second of the game after an assist from Alan Smith. They seem to be handling their supposed lack of strikers quite well so far.


Aston Villa 0 - 0 Liverpool
This was quite possibly the most boring game I've ever seen. I think there was only one notable save from either keeper, when Thomas Sorensen blocked a header from Robbie Fowler late in the game. But it was a painful 90 minutes. Villa didn't help things by sticking 10 men behind the ball, but Liverpool were generally useless going forward.

They all seemed to be stricken with an attack of Carrick-itis, never passing forwards if they could help it. I should've done a shot every time Liverpool passed the ball back to the keeper; I would have been drunk by halftime and the whole game would have been a lot more fun. And when they did, on rare occasions, play the ball towards the opposing net, they demonstrated a complete inability to pass to a teammate that was almost unprecedented in professional footballers. Momo Sissoko was probably the worst offender in this regard, although at least Javier Mascherano looked decent beside him in centre midfield.

Yeah, that's right: Sissoko and Mascherano in the middle. Which left Xabi Alonso having a rest on the bench, and Steven Gerrard sulking on the right wing. It must be galling for him to see himself as the fourth-choice centre midfielder. Although I don't think he is; it's just that he's usually their best option on the right. Anyway, if you are going to play Gerrard there, you have to make sure he sees plenty of the ball so he has a chance to influence the game. Some wingers are happy being peripheral for long stretches of time and then turning up a moment of brilliance, but I don't think he reacts well to that. And until Jermaine Pennant starts performing consistently or they buy a quality winger, I don't have a real solution.


Other results

• Blackburn 1 - 2 West Ham: The referee did more to win this for West Ham than any of their players did, awarding a penalty, giving them another goal that hadn't actually crossed the line, and then sending David Bentley off in the 90th minute for good measure. Apart from Howard Webb, Carlos Tevez was the most notable figure, winning the penalty for West Ham's first goal and then blocking Bobby Zamora's shot for the second.
  
• Reading 0 - 0 Portsmouth: Both teams seemed to be pretty evenly matched teams, because they just cancelled each other out. Really, it was only notable for David James having one of those "holy fuck, what is he doing?" days that remind you why he doesn't get picked for England anymore.
  
• Tottenham 3 - 1 Watford: Video clip of the week: the freak goal by Paul Robinson from a free kick that bounced over Ben Foster and into the Watford net. But Foster is one of those players I randomly like, so I'm choosing to blame this one on the defender.
  
• Chelsea 3 - 0 Sheffield United: It's not a surprise that Chelsea won, only that none of their goals came from Didier Drogba or a Frank Lampard deflection, and that Andriy Shevchenko and Michael Ballack actually made themselves useful.
  
• Charlton 2 - 0 Newcastle
  
• Middlesbrough 0 - 2 Manchester City
  
• Wigan 0 - 0 Fulham
  
• Everton 1 - 0 Arsenal

Premiership Weekend Roundup: January 13-14

Watford 0 - 3 Liverpool
If you had to pick a team to play after two morale-sapping defeats, Watford would almost certainly be at the top of the list. Face with such obliging oppositions, Rafa Benitez fielded an unorthodox 3-4-3 formation (and by unorthodox, I mean "Whichever 11 players are fit and haven't totally sucked recently").

The first half of the game -- as you might expect, from one team playing an unfamiliar system and another propping up the bottom of the Premiership -- was pretty messy, although Craig Bellamy scored a well-deserved goal. Peter Crouch also popped in a couple, on either side of halftime -- probably two of the easiest he's ever scored; no spectacular bicycle kicks here. Bottom line: A comfortable win and, perhaps more importantly, no new injuries as they gear up to face Chelsea this weekend.

Manchester United 3 - 1 Aston Villa
Villa must be glad that they don't have to face United again this season, having now lost by a cumulative total of 8-2. It certainly didn't help that their defence was an absolute shambles for the first 15 minutes of the match; after that they began to show a few signs of the challenge they'd mounted in the FA Cup last week, but by then they were two goals down and it was already too late.

As for Wayne Rooney, he's still not scoring. The rest of his game looks fine -- no question that he's working hard -- but the goal-scoring touch just isn't there, although he did ping one shot off the crossbar towards the end of the match. You know who did score, though? Michael Carrick. Probably just to shut me up after I criticized him a week ago.

Chelsea 4 - 0 Wigan
A brief lull in the ongoing schadenfreudelicious saga at Chelsea, thanks to Wigan essentially self-destructing in front of them. A free kick that should've been easily stopped, a suicidal back-pass and an own-goal...one, two, three goals, thank you very much. Plus one more for good measure in stoppage time, from Didier Drogba, who I think I actually hate more now that he's obnoxious and a very good players, rather than just obnoxious and falling over a lot.

Apart from the comedy of wondering how Wigan would shoot themselves in the foot next and watching Jose Mourinho's series of petulant faces on the sidelines, the actual game was dire. Still, the win is all that really matters for Chelsea, after four draws in five games. And Mourinho's decision to leave out Andriy Shevchenko appears to have worked, as he came away with both the three points and a promise from the board that they'll loosen the purse strings. Damnit.

Blackburn 0 - 2 Arsenal
Just for the record, I still don't like Arsenal. But I think that right now I dislike Blackburn more. They really are a deeply unpleasant team. Maybe not quite as bad as last year, since Craig Bellamy and Paul Dickov aren't running around like annoying little yappy dogs anymore, but Robbie Savage is enough of a git all on his own.

I thought Gilberto Silva's sending off -- for kicking out at Savage after he'd been fouled -- was kind of harsh, especially considering that Pascal Chimbonda slapping Nicky Butt in the Tottenham-Newcastle game only merited a yellow card (maybe if Butt had gone down like Arjen Robben does...). Justice of a sort was done, though, as even with 10 men for most of the game, Arsenal were still the better team, putting the cap on a scrappy win with a stupendous goal from Thierry Henry.


Other results
Everton 1 - 1 Reading
Tottenham 2 3 Newcastle
Bolton 0 0 Manchester City
Charlton 1 3 Middlesbrough
Sheffield United 1 - 1 Portsmouth
West Ham 3 - 3 Fulham

FA Cup 3rd Round

Liverpool 1 - 3 Arsenal
To quote YNBA: Well, that sucked.

Liverpool had the majority of the possession but completely failed to do anything with it. I was astonished to see that they actually had 15 shots on goal, because I didn't remember nearly that many, but then I noticed that only 5 of those were actually on target. Arsenal, on the other hand, only had 5 shots in the whole game, but 3 of them went in. That pretty much sums things up.

A few other things, in no particular order:

1. Xabi Alonso getting booked for diving. This, as far as I'm concerned, is bullshit. The tackle was late, there was contact from the defender, that's a penalty. Is he just supposed to stand there and let Gilberto take his ankles out? I don't think so. (Also, let me just point out that Steve Bennett is the same referee who sent Alonso off against Arsenal last season for slipping on the wet turf and accidentally knocking over Mathieu Flamini -- despite the fact that he had his back to the play at the time. Well done.)
   
2. Why was nobody picking up Tomas Rosicky? Especially after he'd already scored on them once, the last thing the Liverpool defenders should've been doing was watching as he waltzed towards the penalty area. Now, it's possible they share my belief that he is secretly a woman, but nevertheless you have to mark him. Actually, I suspect the yellow card for Alonso didn't help with this, because it meant that he had to be more careful with his tackles. Still, why didn't somebody just take the fucker down?
   
3. Rafa Benitez apparently makes a policy of using Jerzy Dudek in cup games like this instead of Pepe Reina, but his performance just underlined why he's not their number one keeper any more. I can't say for sure, but having seen the way Dudek flapped ineffectually at all three of the Arsenal goals, I think Reina would've stopped at least one of them. Arsenal were also playing their backup keeper, but they had the advantage in that Almunia didn't, you know, suck.
   
4. I was thoroughly enamored with the way Emmanuel Eboue fouled Luis Garcia and then rolled around in agony in hopes of avoiding a booking. And then, a few minutes later, proceeded to crumple to the ground again when Liverpool were trying to take a corner. What a whining, cheating little dickwad.

I did at least get a little bit of entertainment from whoever's done the captions for Propaganda's photos from this match. This one, in particular, is a classic.

Manchester United 2 - 1 Aston Villa
Thank god for aging Scandinavian strikers, eh? Henrik Larsson and Ole Gunnar Solskjaer contrived to rescue the game for United; although Aston Villa fought hard, I don't think they played well enough to have deserved a replay. United did get a bit lucky with the second goal, which Kiraly should've saved, but that's what you get with a goalkeeper who wears pajama bottoms.

It's only been one game, but I'm impressed by Larsson so far. He looked very sharp today -- no sign of having been out of action for a couple of months. Hopefully Wayne Rooney was watching and taking notes on how to score, because his form was mediocre once again. I know he went through a similar slump at the beginning of the season and eventually played himself out of it, so maybe that's what he needs this time too. Or maybe he just needs a rest, but as long as Saha's out injured, that's not very likely.

A couple things I was less impressed by:

1. How easily Park Ji-Sung kept getting muscled off the ball. I know he will gladly run his little legs off for 90 minutes, which is great, but perhaps he wouldn't have to run so much if he could just hang on to possession.
   
2. Michael Carrick's attempts on goal. Somebody should sit him down and tell him that he doesn't have to be a goal-scorer. It's okay, really. Better than shanking it wide every time.

Anyway, at least one of my two teams made it through, so I'll have someone to cheer for in the next round. Anyone but Chelsea, who thumped poor little Macclesfield 6-1 after they had their goalkeeper sent off. That's just mean, y'all.

Premiership Weekend Roundup: October 28-29

Bolton 0 - 4 Manchester United
Chelsea can win games but they can't play attractive football. Arsenal look beautiful but they can't score goals. Manchester United, at the moment, can do both, and it's great to watch. The first 20 minutes of this game, in particular, were fantastic, as they systematically decimated a Bolton team that's looked pretty solid up until now. And Wayne Rooney has now taken any suggestion that he might have been in a slump and stomped all over it like Ricardo Carvalho's balls.

It's funny how I have so much less to say when United are playing well. Just one thing: They were guilty of some terrible marking on set pieces -- they kept leaving players open at the back post, and they were very lucky that Bolton didn't make them pay for it. Although the way United played, they probably would've gone out and scored another three or four goals to retaliate.


Liverpool 3 - 1 Aston Villa
If Liverpool can dominate a game as well as they did in the first half here against a previously unbeaton Aston Villa, why have they sucked so much in other games this season? They didn't dramatically rejig the lineup or anything like that. They just played really good, simple football. IT'S NOT THAT HARD. Or at least it shouldn't be.

Other random questions that are plaguing me today:

• Why was Carragher playing on the left of centre defence and Hyypia on the right for the first half-hour? They switched back to their usual positions after that, but I assume that there must have been some reason for the change.
  
• What's with the new strategy for corners? Instead of Steven Gerrard pinging them all wildly into the box, Luis Garcia was taking a lot of them yesterday, with a second player coming short to give them another option. They didn't always use it, but it was there almost every time.
  
• Liverpool are starting to play better. Stevie G seems to have fixed his hair. Are these two things unrelated?
  
• And finally: Now that they've won a whopping two games in a row, how many changes will Rafa make for the Champions League match against Bordeaux on Tuesday?

Sheffield United 0 - 2 Chelsea
Hilario saved a weak-ass Sheffield United, Frank Lampard scored from a (non-deflected) free kick, and Chelsea won. Business as usual. The one incident that stood out for me was in the second half, when a bunch of the Chelsea players surrounded the ref and tried to pressure him into giving a handball against the Blades. Despite the face that (a) it wasn't intentional, (b) Chelsea came away with the ball anyway, and (c) they were leading 2-0 at the time, so (d) it just made them look like petty douchewads.


Arsenal 1 - 1 Everton
The Gunners only managed a draw despite having more than 70% of the football and Everton having a grand total of one shot on target. Their fans, understandably, are a little disgruntled by the team's approach to the game. Thierry Henry's response:

"I would die like that, playing that type of football, rather than compromise our principles. There are no questions about that, no questions. The fans have the right to speak. I keep on hearing them shout 'shoot'. I don't know what they're trying to say or do. But I think they're getting sucked in by what some people are saying."

This is just a wild guess, but I suspect what they're trying to say is "PUT THE FUCKING BALL IN THE FUCKING NET, TITI."


Other results
Newcastle 0 - 0 Charlton
Fulham 0 - 1 Wigan
Portsmouth 3 - 1 Reading
Watford 0 - 0 Tottenham
West Ham 2 - 1 Blackburn

Premiership Weekend Roundup: April 29-30

Chelsea 3 - 0 Manchester United
How much did that suck? And because it was such an early kickoff, I couldn't even have a beer to dull the pain. United weren't as bad as they were against, say, Sunderland, but they weren't that good either -- Chelsea were definitely the better team, much as I hate to admit it.

There were a couple of key points that I think determined the whole course of the game. The first one was William Gallas scoring the opening goal for Chelsea, thanks to Silvestre deciding to stand around gawping at the ball rather than actually sticking with his mark. The second one was Wayne Rooney missing that one-on-one chance against the keeper -- if he'd put that away, it might have turned things around for United. Instead they just sort of fell apart.

And just to top things off, a broken metatarsal for Rooney. Fan-fucking-tastic. Combine that with Michael Owen still not being 100% fit, and you've got the slightly terrifying prospect of Peter Crouch leading the line for England this summer.


Liverpool 3 - 1 Aston Villa
Not the greatest game for Liverpool, but still very welcome after having to watch John Terry lift the trophy again (and by the way, could the commentators for that game have been any further up his ass?). That second goal from Steven Gerrard, particularly, I could watch over and over again. Not that I've done that. Nope.

The win puts Liverpool level with Man United on points, though, and I don't really want them to take second. According to my carefully balanced scale of loyalties, Liverpool get the FA cup, while United get the Carling Cup and the guaranteed Champions League spot. Chelsea get the Premiership and my undying hatred. Perfectly fair, right?


Other results:
Wigan 1 - 2 Portsmouth (It's official: Pompey are staying up. Yay?)
Birmingham 0 - 0 Newcastle
Charlton 0 - 2 Blackburn
Manchester City 1 - 2 Fulham
Middlesbrough 0 - 1 Everton

Premiership Weekend Roundup: March 18-19

Fulham 1 - 0 Chelsea
Fulham are my new favourite team this week, between shipping five goals against Liverpool on Wednesday and then beating Chelsea yesterday. The game game Jose Mourinho plenty to complain about (but then, what doesn't?), between Gallas getting red carded and Drogba having a goal disallowed for handball. But I think the final scoreline was fair -- Fulham played their butts off for 90 minutes, whereas Chelsea's expensive squad looked like they didn't know how to fight back against a team that had the nerve not to roll over and play dead for them.

Newcastle 1 - 3 Liverpool
I spent the first 10 minutes of the game trying to figure out what formation Liverpool were playing and what kind of crack Rafa was on when he did the lineup. I spent the next 80 minutes trying to fend off the attentions of a creepy West Ham fan so that I could actually watch the game. Anyway, let's assume that Liverpool were playing 3-5-2, with Warnock and Kromkamp as wingbacks. It certainly seems to have worked. And I got a free beer out of the West Ham guy, so everybody wins. Everybody except for Newcastle, that is. It didn't help them that Boumsong got sent off at the beginning of the second half for a rugby tackle on Peter Crouch, but on the other hand he hadn't been much use when he was actually on the pitch.

West Brom 1 - 2 Manchester United
Much like United's game against Newcastle last week, the scoreline flattered their opponents, with Rooney and Giggs both missing obvious chances. Meanwhile, Van Nistelrooy was left on the bench yet again, fuelling speculation that Sir Alex is going to sell him to the glue factory the highest bidder at the end of the season. Saha has been playing well lately -- he scored both goals in this game -- but I'm still not convinced about him. With the attacking options that United has (and their continued lack of a midfield), I think I'd rather see them playing 4-3-3. I mean, who would you rather have in your starting XI: Ruud Van Nistelrooy or John O'Shea? Exactly.

Birmingham 0 - 2 Tottenham
Birmingham tried to do the same thing as Fulham -- fighting hard to harass Tottenham and not let them settle into their game -- but couldn't manage to keep it up for more than an hour. Then Spurs took advantage of sloppy play from Melchiot for their first goal, Birmingham's morale plummeted, and Robbie Keane scored a second (at least we were spared his stupid goal celebration) to seal the win and keep the race for fourth place tight.

Everton 4 - 1 Aston Villa
James Beattie for England, anyone? I know he's been inconsistent, but then so has Peter Crouch, and if you want to play with a big target man, maybe it's better to go with one who doesn't get knocked over so easily. The whole Everton team had a good game on Saturday -- although Aston Villa made it easy for them -- and they're starting to look like the club that finished fourth last year rather than the relegation fodder from the beginning of this season. The question is which team is going to show up for the Merseyside derby this weekend.

Other results
Arsenal 3 - 0 Charlton
Blackburn 3 - 2 Middlesbrough
Bolton 2 - 0 Sunderland
Manchester City 0 - 1 Wigan
West Ham 2 - 4 Portsmouth

Premiership Weekend Roundup: January 21-22

Manchester United 1 - 0 Liverpool
I was worried when I saw the starting lineups. Injuries to Scholes, Smith and Park, plus Cristiano Ronaldo's suspension, meant that United would be fielding a makeshift midfield of Fletcher, O'Shea, Giggs and Richardson against Gerrard, Sissoko, Alonso and Kewell, and I expected them to be thoroughly outclassed (yes, even by Harry Kewell). Liverpool did dominate the midfield, but not quite as much as you would have thought. Stevie G inexplicably went missing for too much of the game, and when they did attack, the finishing was awful -- particularly Djibril Cisse sending the ball over the bar rather than into the open net. You couldn't blame Rafa if he ships Lord Frodsham back to France at the first opportunity.

United also struggled to attack -- even though Rooney played hard and was all over the pitch as usual. But at least their defence was solid this week. Amazing what a difference it makes when you leave Silvestre on the bench, eh? Rio, especially, had a good game -- maybe trying to prove to Sven that he's not really lazy -- with a goal-line clearance and a game-winning header in the last minute. I guess this means I can't make fun of his hair for at least a couple of weeks now.

Chelsea 1 - 1 Charlton
First of all, a disclaimer: My perspective on this game was somewhat impaired by the quantity of beer consumed during the United game. Nevertheless, Chelsea looked distinctly ordinary in this game. They certainly had the talent to beat Charlton, and dominated for most of the match, but they were missing something -- that hunger you need put the game away and guarantee a win. They were just cruising along, happy with the 1-0 scoreline, and that let Charlton back in it to equalize.

Everton 1 - 0 Arsenal
Arsenal might have wanted to save some of those goals from last week for this match. Everton pushed them hard all game -- not dirty play, just hustling for the ball -- and they deserved the win. Arsenal had a couple of unfortunate offside calls go against them, plus a strike from Freddie Ljungberg touched off the post, but they just couldn't seem to get their attack clicking into high gear. Thierry Henry spent most of the game isolated up front -- not exactly the sort of thing that's going to keep him from fleeing to Spain.

(Also: What the hell is with that growth on Ljungberg's face? Not good. Frankly, I expect better from an underwear model.)

Tottenham 0 - 0 Aston Villa
Tottenham dominated this game in the midfield but they just couldn't break through on goal -- partly due to solid defending from Villa but mostly because their keeper, Sorensen, had a fantastic game. Michael Carrick, meanwhile, had another solid game in for Spurs. He's doing his best to prove that he deserves the holding midfield role for England, but I just can't warm to him -- I think it's because he has a weirdly shaped head. (Hey, I never claimed to be entirely rational about football.)

West Brom 0 - 1 Sunderland
Aw, Sunderland finally got a win. Not that it'll help them to stay up this year, but still, it's nice. And probably fitting that it came from an own goal, because neither team played particularly well. There's a reason why they're both hovering at (or near) the bottom of the table.

Other results
Birmingham 5 - 0 Portsmouth
Bolton 2 - 0 Manchester City
Middlesbrough 2 - 3 Wigan
Newcastle 0 - 1 Blackburn

Premiership Weekend Roundup: December 31

Somewhat belated, since I was hungover yesterday. Happy New Year, y'all.

Manchester United 4 - 1 Bolton
An excellent way to come back from the draw with Birmingham in midweek, although it took far too long for United to put the game away. I was worried about the starting lineup -- not exactly what you'd think of as United's strongest, with Darren Fletcher and John O'Shea in the centre of midfield -- especially against a physical team like Bolton. And yet it worked. O'Shea was mostly invisible, but I thought that Fletcher had a solid game. The big difference, though, was the link-up play between the wingers and the strikers. Wayne Rooney was spectacular as usual, and Cristiano Ronaldo seems to have rediscovered his form. I just hope it continues for the game against Arsenal tomorrow.

Aston Villa 0 - 0 Arsenal
And people say that 0-0 draws are boring. Ha! This one was fun to watch, but I suspect that if I hadn't been a neutral observer, it would have just been frustrating. It was a game with lots of action, lots of running -- although in the case of Milan Baros, mostly into offside positions. But, unfortunately, not a lot of chances at a goal. Villa harried the Arsenal players all game and didn't let them string their pretty passes together, but they weren't able to complement this with solid attacking play of their own.

Tottenham 2 - 0 Newcastle
Newcastle battled hard in the first half, but everything changed just before halftime when first Teemu Tainio scored for Tottenham and then Michael Owen went down in the Spurs box with a broken bone in his foot. Newcastle might have been hoping for a break to give them a chance, but not like this. The game also featured an interesting matchup between two of the candidates for the holding midfield role on England's World Cup team -- Michael Carrick for Spurs and Scott Parker for Newcastle. I thought that Parker had a better game, in spite of -- or perhaps because of -- his team's mediocre performance.

Liverpool 1 - 0 West Brom
Liverpool should have had way more than just the one goal. They kept West Brom pinned back in their own half for most of the game. But although they dominated the play, they didn't have a lot of clear chances at goal, and the West Brom keeper, Kuszczak, was excellent. Good to see Harry Kewell back in form -- finally! -- although on the other hand, Luis Garcia has seemed a bit off recently. Also, Peter Crouch scoring with a header -- shocking! (Was that the first time?)

Other results
Middlesbrough 0 - 0 Manchester City
Portsmouth 1 - 0 Fulham
Sunderland 0 - 1 Everton
Wigan 0 - 3 Blackburn
Charlton 2 - 0 West Ham
Chelsea 2 - 0 Birmingham

Premiership Weekend Roundup: December 17-18

Aston Villa 0 - 2 Manchester United
I didn't think this was the most commanding display by United, frankly. But Villa didn't offer much of a challenge, either, and United definitely deserved the result. Wayne Rooney was fantastic as usual. Now if only they could get the midfield sorted out. Yes, Darren Fletcher had a decent game for once, but you can't expect that to be more than a fluke.

West Ham 2 - 4 Newcastle
See, this is why Michael Owen is worth umpteen gazillion pounds. West Ham may have been the more dangerous team in the first half, but you let him anywhere near the goal and Owen is deadly -- even if one of the goals in his hat-trick came off his ear. West Ham, on the other hand, had their two come from an own-goal and a penalty -- somewhat unlucky not to have scored more, considering the continuing dismal state of the Newcastle defence (just imagine how much worse they'd be without Shay Given in net).

Manchester City 4 - 1 Birmingham
Yeah, ok, as a United fan I'm supposed to cheer against City. It was a fun game to watch, although mostly to see how many different ways the commentators could find to say "Wow, Birmingham suck." Rough game for the Birmingham keeper, especially, who was their only player who was any use, and didn't deserve the second yellow card that led to him being sent off at the end.

Arsenal 0 - 2 Chelsea
The first time in my life that I've ever cheered for Arsenal, and this is the thanks I get? Bah. I do think the win for Chelsea was a fair result, considering the balance of play in the game. But Robin van Persie's goal was no more offside than Arjen Robben's was, and that might have completely changed things around. Robben (the oldest-looking 21-year-old ever) was probably Chelsea's most dangerous player -- or Michael Essien, depending on how you look at it. Didier Drogba, meanwhile, seemed to think a striker's job was not to score goals but to bitch incessantly at the referee. I suppose he's learned from his manager how to be a gracious winner.

Other results
Everton 0 - 4 Bolton
Fulham 2 - 1 Blackburn
Portsmouth 1 - 0 West Brom
Wigan 3 - 0 Charlton
Middlesbrough 3 - 3 Tottenham

Premiership Weekend Roundup: November 5-6

Manchester United 1-0 Chelsea
I have never been so happy to be wrong.

The game was on a channel that I don't get at home, so I headed to the pub up the street, which just happened to be full of people in United shirts. 11am kickoff + beer = perfect. Of course all the middle-aged British men in the pub felt it was necessary to warn me that there might be some foul language. I told them not to worry, because a lot of it would probably be coming from me.

Anyway, it was a great atmosphere to watch United grind out a win. It would have been good to see some more attacking flair from United -- Van Nistelrooy was pretty much useless. Ronaldo had Paulo Ferreira tied up in knots down the left wing all game, but his crosses weren't always the best -- even the one that led to Fletcher's goal looked as if it was heading out of play. But this kind of gritty performance -- particularly Alan Smith throwing himself into some crunching tackles in midfield -- is exactly what they needed. (And provided me with lots of opportunities to yell at Chelsea that they were "fucking wankers." Did I mention the 11am beer?)

So. It wasn't always pretty, but they did it. Roy Keane may have even cracked a smile.

Aston Villa 0-2 Liverpool
You know, if I'm going to drag myself out of bed at 7:30am for a game, it had better be worth watching. This one really wasn't -- certainly not for the first 75 minutes or so. I still don't see what's so great about Peter Crouch, but at least he brought the game to life.

The Guardian, as usual, says it best:

If Sky want people to pay to view any more games such as this, they should consider making Roy Keane an offer he cannot refuse to continue his career as a pundit. The Manchester United captain's observations on Harry Kewell's new hairdo would have been more entertaining than anything this match produced and Keane could also have brought to bear his withering opinions on questions such as whether Cisse offers more style than substance, where Gerrard and Alonso were supposed to be playing and whether Villa were actually aware the game had kicked off for the first half-hour.

I would also like to know how Xabi Alonso's hair manages to stay so fluffy even after 90 minutes of football. It's one of the mysteries of the universe.

Arsenal 3-1 Sunderland
If only Arsenal had lost, this would have been a perfect football weekend from my point of view. Despite my Arsenal-hate, though, I have to admit that they can play some damn pretty football -- quick, precise passes, lovely flowing movement, and deadly finishing from Thierry Henry. You have to feel a little bit sorry for Sunderland, who were clearly overmatched. Even after they scored to make it 2-1, you could tell that Arsenal were just kind of toying with them, waiting for the chance to pounce and put the game out of reach.

Portsmouth 0-2 Wigan
Does it make me a total bandwagon-jumper if I say that I am kind of rooting for Wigan now? I'm sure they know that they're hardly the best team out there, but they are certainly playing their asses off, and you have to love that.

Most annoying thing about watching the game was that Sportsnet switched over to the Fox soccer feed, which meant that in addition to the score in the top left corner and the Sportsnet bug in the bottom right corner, it also had the FSC bug in the top right corner -- plus, for part of the time, a British Airways logo, for no reason that I can see other than to piss me off. You could barely see the field under all that crap. Although it was still less annoying than The Score on Sunday, where you had to deal with not only the ticker at the bottom of the screen but also that picture-in-picture thing where the anchor has to update you about games that nobody cares about -- or, if they did care, they could find out about by reading the stupid ticker in the first place.

Other results
West Ham 1-0 West Brom
Newcastle 1-0 Birmingham
Fulham 2-1 Manchester City
Blackburn 4-1 Charlton
Everton 1-0 Middlesbrough