One neverending transfer saga down, one more to go...

At long last, the Carlos Tevez debacle is coming to an end. The parties involved appear to have reached a compromise that will let him join Manchester United. MSI/Joorabchian/whoever have agreed to pay West Ham £2 million to cancel Tevez's registration and leave him free to sign for another club. That would presumably be United, with a two-year loan deal for about £5 million a year. So everybody's happy, especially the Premier League, who were moronic enough to go along with West Ham's claim that they'd torn up their contract with MSI and everything was tickety-boo. Now they get to save face by saying that this proves Tevez belonged to the Hammers all along and there was absolutely nothing dodgy about letting him play out the season in exchange for a fine. Well done.

There's still another kerfuffle involving United, an Argentinian player, and lots of people threatening to sue each other, though, for those of you who like that sort of thing. Gabriel Heinze has been continuing his attempts to escape from the dungeons of Old Trafford and move to Liverpool. I can understand why he'd want to leave for someplace where he'd have a better chance at first-team football. And I can understand why Liverpool would want to buy him, since they don't really have a proper left back at the moment. What I can't understand is why he, his agent, or Rafa Benitez is delusional enough to think that United would actually be willing to sell him to them.

It's not just the Liverpool-United rivalry, although that's undoubtedly a factor. I doubt that they'd want Heinze moving to any of their Premiership rivals. I don't think they would have wanted to sell him at all, in fact, because who else is there as backup for Evra? (Oh yeah, Silvestre. I completely forgot about him, which is probably not a good sign.) They might have been willing for him to move to a European team, if he'd handled things differently, but as it is, he's probably going to rot in the reserves for a while. Serves him right. After all, if he wanted to leave so badly, why didn't he just buy himself out of his contract when he had the chance?

Mid-Week Randomness

• I've been sporadically watching the Copa America, but it's slightly weird because I don't like any of the teams that are left in the semifinals. I think at this point I'm cheering for Not Brazil. And for people to kick Leo Messi.
  
  
• Now that Canada's been knocked out of the U20s, I've decided to throw my support behind Spain. It'll be interesting to see if the tinies choke as badly as the senior team does. And they're up against Brazil tonight, so all signs point to yes.
  
  
• An interview with Dale Mitchell, the Canadian U20 coach, where he analyzes what went wrong for them at this tournament and basically says, "We weren't good enough." It's kind of refreshing to see that sort of honesty, but I'd like it even better if he also offered some suggestions about how to fix it.
  
  
• Oh my god, I am so sick of the Tevez to United saga already. And you just know it's going to drag on for ages. I wish I could wake up in August and have it be over.
  
  
• I've been scoping out new cleats and the thing I keep wondering is why so many of them are so phenomenally ugly. I'm somewhat reconciled to the white boots now, but not the gold ones. Or pea-soup green. And there's certainly no excuse for these monstrosities. I also hate these ones, which I keep seeing everywhere, usually in yellow so it makes you look like a platypus. Possibly the worst, though, are these, which appear to come in different colours for each foot, presumably for all those footballers who still haven't learned their right from their left. (As YNBA said, Rio Ferdinand needs shoes too.)

Actual Transfer News Shocker

After weeks of nothing, Rafa Benitez has finally gone out and spent some money (he's also grown a dodgy goatee, but we won't dwell on that), dropping £26.5 million on Fernando Torres.

That's a lot of money, but Torres has been one of the most highly rated strikers in Europe over the past few years. He's quick, strong and skillful -- not to mention passionate about the team and a hard worker, which is why Rafa bought him instead of, say, Thierry Henry. Of course there are questions about how well he'll adapt to the Premiership and whether he's really the 20-goal-a-season striker that Liverpool need, but for the moment I'm cautiously optimistic. Plus, at the very least, it'll give me ample opportunity to make fun of his hair next season.

Man United, meanwhile, are reportedly negotiating with West Ham to buy Carlos Tevez for about £20 million. If the transfer goes through, it means that next season they will have the fugliest strikeforce in the history of the universe. Woo.

As with the Torres deal, that's a lot of money for one player -- especially considering that United have already spent about £50 million this summer -- but it's less of a risk, since Tevez has already proven that he can cope with the Premiership and, in fact, carry a team on his shoulders. And in both cases, it's reassuring to see the owners willing to pour money into the team for crucial players.

If I was playing fantasy football manager, though, I think I would have swapped these two transfers around -- Torres to United and Tevez to Liverpool -- because I have the vague impression that Tevez is too similar a player to Wayne Rooney. And also because Torres is taller, which, shut up, is totally a valid reason.