Premiership Weekend Roundup: February 24-25

Fulham 1 - 2 Manchester United
Maybe it was the European hangover, maybe it was taking this game for granted after thumping Fulham 5-1 to kick off the season, but United looked very sluggish on Saturday. They didn't help themselves by conceding the opening goal, when Edwin van der Sar came out to clear the ball and collided with Nemanja Vidic instead. But they did have the benefit of some laidback refereeing, with Rio Ferdinand shown a yellow card instead of red after raising his hands to Tomasz Radzinski, and neither Paul Scholes nor Michael Brown being booked despite spending 90 minutes kicking the shit out of each other.

No question that Fulham were unlucky not to come away with at least a point. But this would be the point where we drag out the clichés about the best teams being able to win even when they don't play well.

Liverpool 4 - 0 Sheffield United
I love Steven Gerrard for many reasons, but one of them is not his ability to fall down in the penalty area. To be fair, I do think they were both penalties. But he doesn't help his cause by appealing to the ref even before he's hit the ground, all "Hey mom! Look at me!"

Robbie Fowler converted both penalties and gave Liverpool a 2-0 lead after a first half in which they'd played reasonably well but struggled to break down Sheffield United at the back. As the Blades tried to chase the game in the second half, Liverpool went on to score twice more and cap off a comfortable win. Javier Mascherano made his debut for the Reds and looked a bit shaky to start with, but he improved as the game progressed. I don't even want to think about how Rafa's going to fit him, Gerrard, Alonso and Sissoko all into the lineup, because it make my head hurt.

Other results
Blackburn 3 - 0 Portsm'h
Tottenham 4 - 1 Bolton
Wigan 1 - 0 Newcastle
Charlton 4 - 0 West Ham
Middlesbrough 2 - 1 Reading
Watford 0 - 3 Everton

Wet and Wild

Yesterday was another busy day in the Premiership, with a full slate of games -- although Watford v. Wigan was called off because of the monsoon conditions.

Manchester United 3 - 2 Reading
Y'all are going to get tired of me saying this, but: Cristiano Ronaldo. Quite a player, eh? Scored two and set up the third yesterday. Ole Gunnar Solskjaer had an excellent game as well, and overall it was a solid performance from United, although they were helped out by Reading having Sam Sodje sent off with 20 minutes left. They should've been cruising after that -- and they did expand their lead shortly thereafter -- but Sir Alex won't be happy that they also conceded a very late goal after Leroy Lita blew past Mikael Silvestre. Still, the win means that they're currently six points clear of Chelsea, which is a great way to go into the New Year.

Sheffield United 1 - 0 Arsenal
Neil Warnock has a policy of not naming a goalkeeper among the substitutes for Sheffield United, and yesterday it almost came back to bite him in the ass, when Paddy Kenny went down injured with half an hour still left to play and his team hanging on to a one-goal lead. It was the sort of match that you think doesn't happen in the Premiership anymore: the penalty box nothing but mud, a midfielder forced to play in goal -- making a couple of very good saves, too -- and the team of scrappy underdogs fighting their way to a win. It was great fun to watch -- although probably not if you're an Arsenal fan, because it epitomized all the problems with their game.

Tottenham 0 - 1 Liverpool
It's a precious away win for Liverpool, so maybe I shouldn't quibble, but they certainly don't like to make things easy for themselves, do they? At least Tottenham helped them out by wasting several decent chances. For the Reds, Luis Garcia demonstrated once again why, no matter how frustrating he is, he still has a valuable place in the squad, as he scored the only goal. But I've stopped trying to understand Rafa's substitutions -- like why he brought on Mark Gonzalez in place of the more defensive Fabio Aurelio if they were just going to spend the last 10 minutes of the game camped out in their own half.

Chelsea 2 - 2 Fulham
Hey, look at that, Chelsea dropped points again. I knew Fulham must have some reason to exist -- apparently it's to annoy Jose Mourinho. Good enough. Also, I'm happy that it was Moritz Volz with the distinction of scoring the 15,000th Premier League goal, because his personal website is the only footballer's site I've seen that didn't make me dislike them intensely (unlike, say, JoeCole.com, which currently seems to be down but was possibly the chav-est website ever).

Anyway, Chelsea's problem at the moment is that with John Terry out injured, their defence is leakier than a really leaky thing, and it's sent Mourinho into a snit, which is always entertaining:

"In this moment Chelsea cannot defend. I am the first to know that. Maybe we are not as good as we think, maybe I am not such a good boss, maybe the players are not such good players."

"In this country everybody has tall and strong strikers. They put the ball in the box and we do not dominate the game in the air. What can you do with Paulo (Ferreira), with Geremi? Nothing. The players have no qualities adapted to the game opponents are playing against us."

Poor Jose. Somebody must have held a gun to his head and forced him to buy those players. He's so hard done by.

Other results:
Blackburn 2 - 1 Middlesbrough
Bolton 3 - 2 Portsmouth
Charlton 2 - 1 Aston Villa
Everton 3 - 0 Newcastle
West Ham 0 - 1 Manchester City

Premiership Weekend Roundup: November 18-19

Middlesbrough 0 - 0 Liverpool
Ok, new strategy: Bring in someone to hypnotize Liverpool and make them think they're playing at Anfield every week. Because I'm starting to run out of good explanations for why they can't win away from home. (I do still blame those ugly yellow kits, but they haven't worn them every week.)

The thing is that they weren't bad against Middlesbrough -- aside from the first 15 minutes, where the defence looked like they'd never played football before in their lives -- but they just weren't good quite enough either. There's not one single thing I can point to as the problem right now; it's a little bit of everything, I think. The wingers looked better this week, but they still need to work on their crossing, and Pennant in particular needs to learn how to play with his head up and pass the ball, rather than just running into defenders and hoping to get fouled. For all the debate leading up to the match about whether Xabi Alonso and Steven Gerrard can play together in the middle, though, that was sort of a non-issue. They controlled the midfield well, but I think they needed more movement from the other players, including the fullbacks getting forward more.

Oh, one other thing: corners. Because I'm a dork, I checked the stats, and Liverpool had 12 corners in this game. Of those, almost half didn't get past the first defender. Another third were played short or to a man at the top of the 18-yard box, where they ultimately went nowhere. And another was taken by John Arne Riise. That means there were two or maybe three that actually got into the 6-yard box, and none of those came close to troubling the keeper. They must practice these in training, right? So why are they so utterly terrible at it? Can Rafa really be telling them to do it this way? Because it seems like a complete waste to me, and I imagine it's pretty frustrating for the players, too -- not least for the centre backs, who have to come all the way up the pitch for nothing and then hustle back to cover because they've lost possession too quickly. I know last season I wasn't too impressed with Steven's corners, but at this point I'd almost rather see him taking them again. Plus, it'd give him something to do, so maybe he'd stop looking so sulky all the time.


Sheffield United 1 - 2 Manchester United
When Sheffield United scored in the first 15 minutes, all I said was "Ohhh, see, now you've just made them angry." I wasn't worried at all that Man United were going to lose, despite going behind so early. Sheffield played pretty well, and they worked hard, but Man U still look very, very good. Probably the only weak link was Patrice Evra -- at least, defensively, although he was good going forward and he's been much better this season than last. Oh, and Cristiano Ronaldo's inexplicable bout of Liverpool-itis which made him miss a sitter from three yards out.

We'll see how well they hold up against Chelsea next weekend, but for the moment, I'm cautiously optimistic.


Other results
Blackburn 1 - 1 Tottenham
Wigan 0 - 0 Aston Villa
Manchester City 3 - 1 Fulham
Arsenal 1 - 1 Newcastle
Chelsea 1 - 0 West Ham
Everton 1 - 0 Bolton
Portsmouth 2 - 1 Watford
Reading 2 - 0 Charlton


And in other news, the good people at OleOle.com are running a contest to send two bloggers to Japan for the Club World Cup next month, and I've been chosen for the short list of candidates. If you think I should win, please go here to vote (and ignore the little blurb about me, because if I'd known they were going to post those I would've made it slightly less lame).

Odds and ends

I'm trying not to dwell on England's performance in the friendly against Holland, which was ineffective to the extreme. Good to see that McClaren still hasn't managed to sort out the problems in the midfield. Or up front. Or how to defend against set pieces. It gives you a real sense of confidence.

Meanwhile, wins for Croatia and Russia mean that England are currently third in their qualifying group for Euro 2008, which is either a major crisis or no big deal, depending on who you listen to.

::

I also watched the finals of the MLS Cup on this week (because apparently I didn't get my fill of mediocre football from Man City vs. Newcastle). The game itself wasn't that bad, really -- well, ok, it was 115 minutes of boredom, two minutes of excitement and then penalty kicks.

But it was good in comparison to the coverage on ESPN, which involved cheerleaders, an inane halftime show, and cramming a gajillion people in the commentary box so they could take turns speculating when Clint Dempsey was going to come on (answer: who cares). Also, I'd like to find out who decided to add Bruce Arena to the mix, so that I can hunt them down and beat them about the head repeatedly.

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Closer to home, Toronto FC made their draft picks today, picking up a bunch of guys I'd never heard of despite my making the supreme sacrifice of watching one whole MLS game this year. But there's a pretty good run-down of the players over at Canadakicks.com.

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Also in Toronto, the annual Cavalcade of Lights on Corso Italia has a special theme this year:

"This year's display will include vivid images of Italy's 2006 World Cup victory with stylized icons of soccer players, the FIFA World Cup, and other images that capture the culture and vitality of the Corso Italia community."

Because nothing says Merry Christmas like a good headbutt.

::

And the winner for Bizarre News Story of the Week: Shieffield United goalkeeper Paddy Kenny had his eyebrow bitten off in a brawl.

No word on whether Jermain Defoe was involved.

Premiership Weekend Roundup: August 19-20

You know, I meant to do some sort of pre-season predictions, but basically this is what it would come down to: Chelsea win the league. They bore the shit out of everyone in the process. Jose Mourinho whines. The end.

Anyway, let's just pretend that I wasn't too lazy to write something up, and move on with the season. It's about damn time. I was so desperate that I actually watched a Toronto Lynx match on local cable the other day.


Sheffield United 1 - 1 Liverpool
I don't believe I got up at 7:30 in the morning to watch Liverpool play like this. Yeah, I was anxious to watch some proper football, but calling this game "proper football" is being generous. Especially considering that the two goals came courtesy of some terrible defending on a free kick and a slightly dodgy penalty. (Steven Gerrard really does have a terrible time with gravity, eh?)

I can understand Rafa's decision to start with a weaker lineup and save players for their must-win Champions' League game this week, but I think he underestimated the Blades' drive to win this one. And then injuries to Carragher and Riise forced his hand with the substitutions. The problem is that if you want to challenge Chelsea for the title, you have to assume they're going to win just about every game, and you can't afford to drop points right from the beginning of the season.

Oh well. At least Sean Bean is happy now.

Also: this is my current favourite photo caption.)


Manchester United 5 - 1 Fulham
Now that's how you start the season. (Liverpool, I'm looking at you.)

And this is why I'm a Man United fan, really: because when they want to, they play some gorgeous football. I know, I know, Fulham were terrible, but still, United looked deadly. Unfortunately, they've got to cope without Rooney and Scholes for their next three games, but if they keep playing this well they should be fine -- especially with the possibility that Michael Carrick will be fit again in time to face his old team next weekend.

Probably the best part of this game was seeing Cristiano Ronaldo actually passing the ball to his teammates, instead of just doing endless stepovers and falling over. Also a pleasant surprise: Patrice Evra confounding expectations by resolutely not sucking.

All in all, I'm more optimistic about the season than I was a week or so ago. But I'm still desperately hoping that they manage to pry Owen Hargreaves away from Bayern Munich, because they just can't go through the whole year with John O'Shea anchoring the midfield.


Other results

• Chelsea 3 - 0 Man City: Now we know why Frank Lampard couldn't score during the World Cup: He was trying to actually shoot the ball at the net, instead of pinging it off another player on the way.
  
  
• Newcastle 2 - 1 Wigan: Entertaining, but mostly because it looked like they were playing on a slip-n-slide rather than a football pitch.
  
  
• Bolton 2 - 0 Tottenham: Tottenham are seriously cursed when it comes to games at the Reebok. And they don't even have the excuse of bad lasagna.
  
  
• Arsenal 1 - 1 Aston Villa: Hey, look at that: Theo Walcott actually does exist! He's not just a figment of Sven's overheated imagination!
  
  
• Everton 2 - 1 Watford: Everton get the win thanks to penalty awarded against Watford for handball...despite the fact that it actually hit the player on the head.
  
  
• Portsmouth 3 - 0 Blackburn: Maybe Portsmouth don't suck as much as I thought? Meanwhile, Blackburn finished the game with nine men. This is not the way to challenge for a European place, guys.
  
  
• West Ham 3 - 1 Charlton: Djimi Traore, the world's most unlikely Champions League winner, gets sent off after less than half an hour, in a stellar start to his post-Liverpool career.
  
  
• Reading 3 - 2 Middlesbrough: Reading go down by two goals within the first 20 minutes but stage a fantastic comeback. Welcome to the Premiership, guppies.