Premiership Weekend Roundup: October 4-5

Manchester City 2-3 Liverpool
Oh, that was just gorgeous. Ok, not Liverpool going behind 2-0 by halftime, or Xabi Alonso practically having his ankle taken off by Zabaleta. (And seriously, what is it about him that encourages people into dangerous tackles?) But everything after that was great. And even before City were reduced to 10 men, Liverpool's second-half performance was light-years removed from the way they'd played before the break. It wasn't quite an Istanbul-style comeback, but a win like this is a hyge psychological boost. If they keep pulling off stuff like this, they just might have a chance at the title -- assuming, that is, that being considered favourites doesn't make them immediately collapse.

Blackburn 0-2 Manchester United
I said when United were trying to sign Dimitar Berbatov that I didn't think it was a good idea, because he's a lazy player. And he may indeed be lazy, but I don't care anymore, because he's turned out to be a fantastic addition to the team, not only scoring goals but creating opportunities for his teammates. The score was only 2-0 but it could've been more, even if Wes Brown hadn't scored the opening goal with the help of a foul on the keeper by Nemanja Vidic.

Sunderland 1-1 Arsenal
Sunderland held Arsenal off for 85 minutes before Grant Leadbitter gave them the lead, coming on as a substitute and scoring a beautiful goal with practically his first touch of the game. It wasn't enough to give them the victory, though, as Cesc Fabregas equalized in added time -- with a header, of all things. This is especially noteworthy since (a) Cesc is roughly as tall as I am, which is to say, not very, and (b) he doesn't even have poofy hair giving him a couple of extra inches anymore.

Chelsea 2-0 Aston Villa
With Drogba injured and Anelka not 100%, apparently Chelsea are copying the "who needs strikers" strategy that Man United pioneered last season. That's nice for them. I was attempting to study for an economics quiz, so I wasn't paying much attention, apart from noting that John Terry doesn't really need to hike his shorts up that much. I'm just saying.

Other results
West Brom 1-0 Fulham
Wigan 0-1 Middlesbrough
West Ham 1-3 Bolton
Tottenham 0-1 Hull
Portsmouth 2-1 Stoke
Everton 2-2 Newcastle

Holy crap, I just realized that Hull are in third place. Hull.

Premiership Weekend Roundup: September 27-28

On the one hand, I am insanely busy right now. Booo. On the other hand, I finally have Setanta set up at my new apartment so I can watch the games properly. Yaaaay. So here we go...

Manchester United 2–0 Bolton
Yes, okay, that penalty was ridiculous. I'm not even going to try to defend that. I'm more interested in seeing Wayne Rooney come on as a substitute and link up with Cristiano Ronaldo to score a beautiful goal. And now, in seeing whether he's actually going to get to start their Champions League game this week.

Everton 0–2 Liverpool
Fernando Torres did basically nothing for an hour, and then won the game in the space of two minutes. (Should have had a hat trick, actually.) And it was an excellent performance from the whole team; they thoroughly deserve their spot at the top of the table.

Arsenal 1–2 Hull
Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

Other results
Stoke City 0–2 Chelsea
Newcastle 1–2 Blackburn
Middlesbrough 0–1 West Brom
Fulham 1–2 West Ham
Aston Villa 2–1 Sunderland
Portsmouth 2-0 Tottenham
Wigan 2-1 Manchester City

Premiership Weekend Roundup: April 19-20

Blackburn 1-1 Manchester United
As I said last week, Blackburn are usually a tough team to play, but still I was hoping for more from United after Liverpool beat them the week before. I don't know if they were too keyed up, with the Premier League title almost within their grasp if they won here, but whatever the reason, they didn't start the game very well. Roque Santa Cruz put Blackburn ahead in the first half, getting between Rio Ferdinand and Nemanja Vidic, and United had to fight hard to get themselves back into the match. (Wayne Rooney, actually, took the fighting part a little too seriously, spending most of the match shouting at the referee for his perceived deficiencies.) Finally, in the 88th minute, Carlos Tevez popped up with another crucial goal, heading home from a corner. The draw at least means that even if United lose at Stamford Bridge this weekend, they can still win the title as long as they beat both Wigan and West Ham, thanks to their massively superior goal difference. But I'm nervous.

Fulham 0-2 Liverpool
Much like this fixture last year, Rafa Benitez put out a weakened lineup ahead of a crucial Champions League game, but it didn't help Fulham as they were comprehensively outplayed. I'd say that only about four of the Liverpool players are guaranteed to start tomorrow, but they all played as if they were trying to prove that they deserved a spot. Jermaine Pennant certainly might feel that he's earned a chance in place of Dirk Kuyt, as he scored the first goal and set up the second one -- although in both cases I think Kasey Keller could have done better to save them. Anyway, Liverpool have opened up an eight-point gap over Everton in the fight for fourth place, so they can relax a bit in the league, while Fulham are on the verge of relegation now.

Arsenal 2-0 Reading
With nothing much left to play for, Arsenal had an easy time of it against a lacklustre Reading side who are just hoping to survive in the Premiership. The Gunners were two goals up by halftime and could have easily had more in the second half, but were denied by the crossbar more than once. Highlight was probably the excellent performance from Theo Walcott, given a start for a change instead of coming on for a substitute. Lowlight was Alexander Hleb inexplicably smacking Graeme Murty in the face -- although the ref didn't see it. It'll be interesting to see if there's any retrospective punishment for that.

Aston Villa 5-1 Birmingham
It must really suck to be a Birmingham supporter today. Ouch. They were utterly taken apart by Villa, sparked by Ashley Young, who picked a good day to perform (um, not like that), with Fabio Capello watching. Young scored two goals, set up another for John Carew (who also bagged two), and along with Gabriel Agbonlahor, his pace was giving the Birmingham defenders fits. They did get a consolation goal in the second half, but it was cancelled out not much later as Agbonlahor scored Villa's fifth. Gareth Barry had a good game in the middle of the park, too. I can sort of understand why there are rumours floating around that Liverpool want to buy him, but don't they have a surfeit of central midfielders already?

Newcastle 2-0 Sunderland
Okay, Newcastle somehow are undefeated in the past six games. And -- even more astonishing -- they've kept a clean sheet in the last three of those. What the hell? Has Kevin Keegan given all their defenders brain transplants or something? (Maybe stem cells from Paolo Maldini?) They're doing pretty well at the other end of the pitch, too, with Michael Owen scoring six times in six games, and seeming to revel in his new role linking the midfielders and strikers. He looks revitalized -- even without the stimulus of the Euros this summer -- and I'm curious to see what Fabio Capello will do with him now.

Other results
Manchester City 3-1 Portsmouth
Middlesbrough 0-1 Bolton
West Ham 2-1 Derby
Wigan 1-1 Tottenham

Premiership Weekend Roundup: April 12-13

Manchester United 2-1 Arsenal
After a physically and emotionally draining game against Liverpool on Tuesday, Arsenal did well to reproduce that intensity against United yesterday -- but once again it was ultimately futile, as they were undone by a couple of defensive blunders.

The first half was scoreless but still had you on the edge of your seat; Arsenal probably could have opened the scoring before halftime but wasted a few chances, with Emmanuel Adebayor the most guilty. But it was Adebayor who gave Arsenal the lead, taking advantage of a laughable mix-up between Rio Ferdinand and Edwin van der Sar with a free header -- that might have actually come off his arm. United's defense continued to look shaky, with both Ferdinand and Wes Brown nearly scoring own-goals, but it didn't take long before they were back in the game, as William Gallas conceded a penalty for hand-ball.

The penalty was taken perfectly by Cristiano Ronaldo -- not once but twice, after the first one was called back for encroachment. This is where being unfathomably arrogant can come in handy, as he had the nerveless confidence to put it in the same place both times -- but it was so well struck that Jens Lehmann couldn't get to it. So much for Lehmann's claims that he's a better keeper than Manuel Almunia. (Oh, and Mad Jens also got himself booked in the middle of that, just for being an ass.) Lehmann might also have done better with United's game-winning goal, a free kick just outside the box for a foul on Patrice Evra by Gilberto -- a poor replacement for Mathieu Flamini's bite in midfield. Owen Hargreaves looped the kick up over the wall and into the net, with Lehmann rooted to the spot -- and yelling at his wall for not moving either. Oops.

A draw might have been a fair result, but despite all of Arsenal's effort and skill, United had the resolve -- and a little bit of luck -- necessary to come away with the win. And you also have to look at the impact of their substitutes: as Arsenal chased the game, Arsene Wenger turned to Nicklas Bendtner to replace Robin van Persie -- whereas United were able to bring on Anderson and Carlos Tevez for Paul Scholes and Ji-Sung Park. It's hard not to conclude that the difference in the two squads' depth is also the difference in their season.


Liverpool 3-1 Blackburn
This was a potentially tricky match for Liverpool, especially after the Champions League game in midweek, but they came through it relatively easily, in the end. Liverpool were dominant from the outset, but it stayed goalless for 60 minutes before Steven Gerrard broke through for the opening goal. He'd spent most of the game up until that point falling down whenever he got a chance and throwing tantrums when he didn't get the free kick; the first incident was probably the most blatant, as Brad Friedel slid in to clear the ball and Gerrard deliberately dragged his leg over the keeper to make it look like he'd been fouled. Steven, honey, I like you, but I like you much better when you're not cheating.

It just backfired anyway, because even if he was legitimately fouled after that, he was never going to get the call because he'd become the boy who cried "penalty." And look how much more effective it was when Gerrard actually stayed on his feet: storming into the box to score. He was also involved in the second goal -- Fernando Torres heading Gerrard's cross back over the keeper for his 30th goal of the season, which is not too shabby for a Premiership debutant. Substitute Andriy Voronin added a third in the 90th minute, sliding in to meet John Arne Riise's cross. The goal of the game was probably Roque Santa Cruz's fabulous volley in stoppage time -- but it was already game over at that point, and he didn't even bother to celebrate.

Also: I cannot keep track of who's stabbing who in the back in the Anfield boardroom, so I've decided to just continue my strategy of willful ignorance.


Other results
Birmingham 1-1 Everton
Bolton 1-0 West Ham
Derby 0-6 Aston Villa
Portsmouth 0-0 Newcastle
Reading 0-2 Fulham
Sunderland 1-2 Manchester City
Tottenham 1-1 Middlesbrough

Champions League Quarter-finals

Liverpool 4-2 Arsenal (5-3 agg)
Wow. That was a hell of a game.

Rafa surprised everyone by switching things up and giving Peter Crouch a start alongside Fernando Torres, with Ryan Babel left on the bench. Crouch certainly deserved a chance after his performance against Arsenal last weekend, and he combined with Torres for Liverpool's second goal, but even so I wonder if it was a mistake to change from the formation that they were used to and that had been working so well. With Steven Gerrard nominally on the left, it meant that they had one fewer player in centre midfield, which is always dangerous against a team like Arsenal that can pass around you, and certainly for the first half-hour Liverpool were being overrun.

Emmanuel Adebayor was giving the defence problems from the start -- although fortunately he kept being flagged offside -- but it was Abou Diaby who scored the opening goal, beating Pepe Reina at the near post. Up front for Liverpool, Torres wasn't seeing much of the ball, and it took a set piece for them to equalize, as Sami Hyypia broke away from Philippe Senderos at a corner to power in a header. The goal seemed to give Liverpool confidence, and they started to get more of a grip on the game -- helped by Mathieu Flamini being forced off with an injury just before halftime.

They were much stronger at the start of the second half than they were in the first, and eventually went ahead with an utterly fantastic goal from Torres -- a long ball forward from Reina, flicked on by Crouch to Torres, who spun around and fired it into the far corner as the hapless Senderos strugged to keep up. With 20 minutes left, Arsenal brought on Theo Walcott and Robin van Persie, flinging everything at Liverpool in an attempt to survive. It was Walcott who created their second goal, bringing the ball forward from deep in his own half and dodging four Liverpool players before setting up Adebayor in the 84th minute.

But they barely had time to savour the goal when Liverpool scored again. Ryan Babel, who'd looked lively since he came on as a substitute for Crouch, was pulled down in the box by Kolo Toure for a penalty, and Gerrard coolly stepped up to smash it past Manuel Almunia. The tie may have come down to a tale of two penalties -- the one given to Liverpool here, and the one not given to Arsenal last week -- and I have to admit that both incidents looked pretty similar to me. But Babel made it all moot with a fourth goal in stoppage time, racing onto a clearance from Dirk Kuyt and outmuscling Cesc Fabregas (who was carefully stubbled, just to remind everybody that he's a big boy now) to put the game away.

So-called football purists will lament the fact that Arsenal and their beautiful football are out of the competition now, but ultimately I do not give a damn. Beautiful football is meaningless if you don't have the balls to win games, and I will take Steven Gerrard and his magnificent hairy thighs over Arsene's boy-toys any day. And now we get yet another Liverpool-Chelsea semi-final, which even I am not going to pretend is likely to be a scintillating match-up. Although there is always the opportunity to make John Terry cry.


United 1-0 Roma (3-0 agg)
Sir Alex might have claimed not to be taking anything for granted ahead of this game, but the fact that Cristiano Ronaldo and Wayne Rooney started on the bench tells you everything you need to know about the relative importance of Roma versus Arsenal this weekend. Even without those two players, United still had enough to win, with Carlos Tevez scoring the only goal. But there were some nervy moments, particularly when Wes Brown brought down Mancini for a debatable penalty -- it's hard to tell, but I think he might have got the ball first -- which Daniel de Rossi blasted over the bar. (And I laughed, because I dislike de Rossi for no apparent reason.) The clean sheet was encouraging, with Mikael Silvestre making his first start in ages (I'd almost forgotten about him), Rio Ferdinand making it through the game despite a foot injury, and Gary Neville finally returning from injury as a substitute. Player of the game, though, was Owen Hargreaves, who worked his socks off for 90 minutes and even set up Tevez's goal with a perfect cross.


Chelsea 2-0 Fenerbahce (3-2 agg)
Okay, somebody out there has a voodoo doll with a Chelsea goalkeeper kit, right? Because they are totally cursed. First Petr Cech gets his face all cut up in training (50 STITCHES! That is ridiculous.), and then Carlo Cudicini takes over from him and pulls a hamstring. And didn't this happen last year too? Voodoo doll, I'm telling you. Anyway, third-choice keeper Hilario made a few good saves to see Chelsea through to the next round. But they made things a bit tougher for themselves than they needed to. Michael Ballack's header gave them an early advantage, but they waited until the 87th minute to put the tie away with a second goal from Frank Lampard. Michael Essien, who set up that goal, however, will be missing the first semi-final game at Anfield through suspension, which is a boost to Liverpool.


Barcelona 1-0 Schalke (2-0 agg)
Barcelona did enough to get themselves into the semi-finals with another 1-0 victory over Schalke, but they didn't exactly look convincing in the process. There's been a constant stream of dressing-room drama, with Ronaldinho and Deco supposedly being dropped for partying too much, and Thierry Henry being generally mediocre now that he's left his Arsenal harem. Leo Messi will probably be back from injury for Barca when they face United later this month, but the bad news is that Carles Puyol will be suspended for the first leg after picking up another yellow card here.

Why do I always seem to be away during Champions League weeks?

Apologies for the lack of posts around here, but I've been on vacation all week. I meant to put something up before I left, but an insufficient amount of time and an oversufficient amount of alcohol conspired against it. Probably just as well, because all my Champions League predictions would have been woefully inaccurate.

The resort did have ESPN, but even I wasn't about to give up valuable beach time in favour of watching football. So I'm just catching up now.

• I did see the second half of United's game against Roma, as they took a 2-0 lead home to Old Trafford. It looked like a solid performance, not as over-cautious as they too often are when playing away in Europe. And Cristiano Ronaldo will have shut a few more people up with his goal here. The bad news is the injury to Nemanja Vidic; combined with Rio Ferdinand limping out of their game on the weekend, it leaves the back line looking rather shaky. Reminds me of last season, actually, when I think seem to recall them being forced into playing Darren Fletcher at right-back.
  
  
• Liverpool drew 1-1 with Arsenal at the Emirates, which gives them a slight advantage going into the second leg. But it's a very slight advantage. It's quite possible that Fernando Torres will score a brilliant goal and they'll put together another magnificent defensive performance and stymie Arsenal for 90 minutes, but it's equally possible that Pepe Reina will have a brain fart and then Dirk Kuyt will fall over his own feet when presented with an open net. I am expecting dreading that it's going to be another 1-1 followed by penalties.
  
  
• Chelsea took the lead against Fenerbahce through an own-goal, but then gave up two goals in the second half; it was the reverse of many of their games this season, as they played well but still lost. Ha. And Barcelona beat Schalke, as expected, albeit by only one goal -- the first Champions League goal for wunderkind Bojan Krkic.
  
  
• Meanwhile, in the league, United started the week by destroying Villa 4-0, demonstrating what they can do if you are foolish enough to go to Old Trafford and attempt to play rather than stringing 11 men across the goalmouth. They followed that up with a snowy 2-2 draw at Middlesbrough, who have been surprisingly tough against the so-called big teams this year. Uh-oh.
  
  
• Liverpool faced a couple of tricky games but have done pretty well, beating Everton 1-0 in the derby and then drawing against Arsenal with their second-string team in the league game sandwiched between their two Champions League matches. They still have only a narrow lead over Everton in the table, but it should be enough to preserve their spot in the top four. The boardroom drama continues; I continue to stick my fingers in my ears and chant "La la la I can't hear you."
  
  
• Chelsea are still steadily winning games, beating Middlesbrough and then Man City. They're now only three points behind Manchester United and I'm starting to get a bit worried. But I refuse to believe that United can be caught by a team managed by one of the Gorgs from Fraggle Rock.
  
  
• Arsenal staged an amazing comeback last weekend, beating a doomed Bolton 3-2 after going down 2-0 and then having a man sent off. I was laughing at them when I left for the airport at halftime, and then they had to go and win after all, the bastards.
  
  
• Also, Newcastle apparently don't suck anymore...when did that happen?
  
  
• In the FA Cup, Portsmouth beat West Brom and Cardiff beat Barnsley, both one-nil, to reach the finals. I am trying to care and failing miserably, especially now that designated minnows Barnsley are out.
  
  
• And here at home, Toronto FC are off to another dismal start to the season, losing their first two games on the road, against Columbus and DC United. I think this could be a chronic problem for them, because they're probably going to start every season away from home while they wait for the snow to melt. Makes it hard to build any sort of momentum when you've already dropped points in your first few games. A bit of good news (I guess?) is that they've signed Laurent Robert from Derby. Yeah, only in MLS is picking up a player from the worst team in the Premiership seen as an asset.

Premiership Weekend Roundup: March 22-23

Manchester United 3-0 Liverpool
A lot of people are blaming Javier Mascherano for Liverpool losing. A few people are blaming the referee. I'm going to do something a bit different and blame both of them.

Let's start with Mascherano. He's booked early on for a late tackle on Paul Scholes, although he's deliberately put his feet flat on the ground -- no high foot, no studs showing -- so it's maybe a bit harsh. Somewhat aggrieved by that, he spends a good portion of the first half yammering away at Steve Bennett. Then, just before halftime, Fernando Torres is booked for what I presume was dissent -- it wasn't particularly clear -- Mascherano makes the unnecessary and foolhardy decision to question this, and he's booked a second time, again for dissent. Now, I'm not going to argue that he isn't an idiot for getting involved. (And he didn't help his case by the way he reacted.) But I think the referee has to share some of the responsibility.

Leaving aside the first yellow card for Mascherano -- because I do think that could have gone either way -- let's look at the way Bennett handled the situation. There's been a lot of discussion this week about whether referees deserve more respect from the players, and I think generally they do. But the other side of that is that the players are also entitled to respect from the referees. I don't mean turning a blind eye when players whine about every call. I mean simply responding to players instead of stonewalling them.

Let's say the referee awards a free kick and a player asks, "What was that for?" There are two ways you can take that. One is that they're disputing the referee's decision. The other is that they're just not sure what the infringement is, and they want to know. Most of the time it's probably the first, but not always -- and when referees assume that it's always the player trying to argue, and as a result they get all defensive and refuse to answer, it just causes more problems.

Look at this game, specifically: Torres is booked for whatever comment he made. Then Mascherano comes over to ask what happened, and he's booked as well. As I said, it's a foolish thing for him to do, but I think it's reasonable to expect that you should be able to ask a question without getting sent off for it. There's certainly too many instances of dissent in the game today, and not enough of them are being punished, but there is also a difference between dissent and simply making a comment -- or at least there should be.

The FA is probably going to come down hard on Mascherano for not leaving the field immediately after being sent off. And I think that's harsh -- I can't really blame him for reacting incredulously to the second booking -- but I'm sure they're determined to make an example of him. Which is going to cripple Liverpool's midfield for the next few games, incidentally.

The real shame, though, is that the sending off pretty much ended this as a game. And regardless of whether I wanted United to win, I didn't want them to win like this. Unitd had already taken the lead in the 34th minute with an unlikely goalscorer, Wes Brown heading home from a corner, and were looking like the better team even before their opponents were reduced to 10 men. Liverpool did put a decent spell together in the second half, but they never really tested Edwin van der Sar, and it was only a matter of time before United scored again.

Wayne Rooney had been breaking through the defence too easily all game, and really should have scored at least once. Instead it was Cristiano Ronaldo with the second goal -- another header that Pepe Reina came to punch and missed, negating the good saves he'd made earlier in the game. Nani added a third just a couple minutes later, cutting inside and unleashing a scorching shot. By that point Liverpool looked like they just wanted it all to be over, while United were relishing the thought of moving six points clear of Arsenal at the top of the table.


Chelsea 2-1 Arsenal
The two teams were evenly matched for almost an hour (including the two least likeably players in the Premiership facing up against each other, with Emmanuel Eboue versus Ashley Cole) before Arsenal took the lead. As with United v. Liverpool, it was another unlikely goal from a right back, Bacary Sagna scoring from a corner when he probably shouldn't have been anywhere near the box. But unfortunately for Arsenal, the game proved to be a microcosm of their season, as they then surrendered the lead to a resurgent Chelsea -- who have now leapfrogged them into second place in the league.

Avram Grant's substitutions -- Juliano Belletti and Nicolas Anelka for Claude Makelele and Michael Ballack -- were criticized by the Chelsea fans but appeared to have an effect, as both players they were involved in the winning goal. (Neither of the players who were taken off looked particularly happy about it, by the way, with a scowling Ballack heading straight down the tunnel.) But the changes were hardly revolutionary, and in any case it was Didier Drogba who was really the difference between the teams here. He'd been hobbling earlier in the game and looked like he might come off, but shook it off and led his team brilliantly, ultimately scoring both their goals. I still don't like him, but he is a very good striker when he wants to be.


Other results
Aston Villa 0-1 Sunderland
Blackburn 3-1 Wigan
Bolton 0-0 Manchester City
Everton 1-1 West Ham
Middlesbrough 1-0 Derby
Newcastle 2-0 Fulham
Reading 2-1 Birmingham
Tottenham 2-0 Portsmouth

Premiership Weekend Roundup: March 15-16

Liverpool 2-1 Reading
Liverpool started slowly, and Reading took an early lead with a well-worked free kick, squared to Marek Matejovsky for a beautiful strike from the edge of the box. But Javier Mascherano cancelled that out with an equally well struck goal, his first for the club. You could see how much it meant to him -- not to mention how happy his teammates were on his behalf -- and he fully deserves the recognition, because this was another in a series of excellent games from him. Then it was a header from Fernando Torres -- who else -- to give them all three points. That makes Torres the first Liverpool striker since Robbie Fowler to score 20 league goals in a season, and he's well on his way to becoming a legend at Anfield. The rest of the team were average this weekend; although they dominated possession they could've capitalized on that more and saved themselves a slightly nerve-wracking end to the game. Still, this is their fifth Premier League win in a row, and they're in good shape going into the crucial series of upcoming games against United, Everton and Arsenal.

Derby 0-1 Manchester United
Everyone was predicting that this game was going to be a massacre. An embarrassment. And it was embarrassing, but mostly for United. This is Derby, after all -- probably the worst team in Premiership history. Coming away with anything less than four or five goals is kind of disappointing. But I think United were (unsurprisingly) overconfident coming into this game, and that translated into them not being quite as sharp as they needed to be. They wasted an incredible number of chances, and Roy Carroll also made a number of very good saves to keep them out. Cristiano Ronaldo was getting poutier and poutier with every miss, but he finally scored the one goal they needed in the 75th minute. And it wasn't all defence from Derby: at the other end of the field, Ben Foster had to make a couple of crucial saves as well. He was only starting because of the injury to Edwin van der Sar and Tomasz Kuszczak's suspension, but he certainly looks good enough to give you confidence for the future -- for both United and England.

Arsenal 1-1 Middlesbrough
Middlesbrough seem to be Arsenal's nemesis this year, beating them at the Riverside in September and earning a draw here with their hard work. Arsenal had a bit of bit of bad luck early on when Emmanuel Adebayor's goal was bizarrely ruled out out for offside. And it only got worse as former Arsenal player Jeremie Aliadiere scored for Boro with their one and only shot on target. Arsenal threw everything they had at the opposition goal but nothing seemed to work, with Middlesbrough hanging on by the skin of their teeth. It took a late goal by Kolo Toure to save a point for Arsenal, but that was all they got, as they couldn't take advantage of their extra man after Mido was sent off for (accidentally) kicking Gael Clichy in the face. So, their five-point lead has evaporated and they've ceded the top of the table to United. And now they also have to worry about Chelsea, who won again and are now just three points behind with a game in hand.

Other results
Fulham 1-0 Everton
Manchester City 2-1 Tottenham
Portsmouth 2-0 Aston Villa
Sunderland 0-1 Chelsea
West Ham 2-1 Blackburn

Premiership Weekend Roundup: March 8-9

Liverpool 3-0 Newcastle
Rafa resisted the urge to rotate too much ahead of Liverpool's Champions League rematch with Inter, just choosing to bring in Pennant and Benayoun and rest Kuyt and Babel on the wings, and forced to replace the injured Mascherano with Lucas. But he left Gerrard and Torres in the starting lineup, and with the terrific form they're both in right now, you wouldn't want to see them left out anyway.

Not only are they playing well individually, but they've developed a fantastic understanding between the two of them. Gerrard set up Torres for one goal, and he returned the favour for another. (Meanwhile, Michael Owen, who in an alternate universe would have come to Anfield this summer instead of Torres, was wandering around looking sad and lonely up front for Newcastle.)

It took a while for Liverpool to find the opening goal, as Newcastle's defence were slightly less hopeless than usual -- and they did need a bit of luck, with Luis Enrique's clearance shanked off Pennant and looping into the net. But Torres's goal came just a couple minutes later, and then Gerrard finished things off early in the second half. That gave Liverpool a comfortable three-goal lead and let Rafa substitute his star players and wrap them up in cotton wool for a couple days.

So that was enjoyable. The only thing that bugged me was the way the commentators kept going on about how Liverpool's play had deteriorated once Gerrard and Torres came off, as if the rest of the team was just shit. Sure, they were less threatening after that, but you don't suppose it might have had something to do with the fact that they were three goals up and didn't really need to push themselves? Bah.

Wigan 0-0 Arsenal
Arsenal were held to a draw once again, frustrated by a combination of hard work by Wigan and a few good saves by Chris Kirkland. Even Robin van Persie's return from injury as a substitute here wasn't enough to bring them a goal. Wigan were constantly hustling to close Arsenal down and stop them getting into their passing rhythm, although didn't ever look likely to score in their own right. And Arsenal were also hampered by the terrible pitch, which was reminiscent of some of the mudslikes that my rec league plays on. Anyway, they've dropped more points, which is great news for United snapping at their heels.

Tottenham 4-0 West Ham
West Ham really do need to shore up their defence; they conceded two goals in the first 10 minutes here, both from Tom Huddlestone free kicks that were headed home by Berbatov. And they didn't help themselves when Boa Morte was sent off before halftime for a second late tackle -- and he was lucky to have lasted as long as he did. The Hammers have now lost 4-0 for the past three games in a row, which is abysmal -- although the results don't seem to have made much difference, because they're still marooned alone in mid-table no man's land. As for Tottenham, it looks like they've finally shaken off their hangover, although it may not help them with the UEFA Cup.

Other results
Blackburn 1-1 Fulham
Reading 2-0 Manchester City
Sunderland 0-1 Everton

Champions League Round of 16: March 4

Manchester United 1-0 Lyon (2-1 agg)
This was hardly a dominant display from United, but they've done enough to see themselves through to the next round. Sir Alex fielded a slightly odd lineup, with Nani and Ronaldo flanking Rooney in a 4-3-3 -- although I suppose it could've been just a cunningly disguised version of United's usual European 4-5-1 -- and the team didn't quite seem to gel. The only goal came from Ronaldo just before half-time, after Lyon's defense (still their weakest point) failed to clear their lines after Wes Brown's cross. But apart from hat, United were guilty of some sloppy play and failed to really kill off the game, which could've come back to bite them in the ass if Kader Keita's shot had gone in instead of rebounding off the post. For Lyon, Benzema was once again their most dangerous player by a mile; it will definitely be interesting to see if United pursue him in the summer. I think he'd be a fantastic addition to the squad, even though I also expect him to cost a ridiculous amount of money.

Milan 0-2 Arsenal (0-2 agg)
You know, I'm not sure why everyone was so convince Milan were going to win this one. Based on their historical record, sure, but on current form? Of course it's easy to say in hindsight, but I expected it to be very finely balanced indeed. Milan were the stronger team for the first 20 minutes or so -- I wonder if Arsenal's youngsters were overawed by the San Siro -- but Arsenal worked themselves into the game and only got better as it went on, with Milan looking a bit worn down. Midfield is usually Milan's strength, but Fabregas, Flamini and Hleb were superior to the Italian trio of Pirlo, Gattuso and Ambrosini, with Kaka reduced to running down blind alleys and petulantly throwing the ball away (what would Jesus say, Ricky?). Fabregas finally broke the deadlock in the 84th minute with a long-range shot. It was well struck, but I think Kalac could've done, because he had plently of time to get down and cover it. It didn't matter, though, because Milan had very little time to equalize, and instead Arsenal scored again, as Theo Walcott set up Adebayor in stoppage time, and last year's champions are out. Mostly I feel sad for Paolo Maldini, because this was his last Champions League game ever, and as a total class act -- not to mention, um, a total hotass -- he deserves infinitely better than for it to end this way.

Barcelona 1-0 Celtic (4-2 agg)
A pretty predictable Barcelona win, as Celtic's dreadful away form in Europe continues. Barcelona's goal came in the third minute, Xavi scoring, with Celtic barely having touched the ball up to that point. Barca could have easily run up the score after that, but they didn't really need to bother, coming into the game with a 3-2 lead from the first leg. Although they've easily made it into the quarter-finals, unfortunately the Catalan team has lost Lionel Messi to a recurrence of the hamstring injury that sidelined him earlier this year, as he went down injured in the first half and left the field in tears. Poor kid has had some rotten luck.

Sevilla 3-2 Fenerbahce (5-5 agg; 2-3 pen)
Sevilla and Fenerbahce produced another five-goal thriller after the 3-2 result in Turkey a couple of weeks ago. Sevilla took an early lead with goals from Daniel Alves and Seydou Keita. Deivid then pulled one back for Fenerbahce but Sevilla widened their lead again before halftime through Freddie Kanoute. In the 79th minute, though, Deivid scored again to force extra time. That ended goalless before Fenerbahce finally squeaked through on penalties, as goalkeeper Volkan Demirel, who had flapped at Sevilla's first two goals, saved three penalty kicks to put his team through.

Premiership Weekend Roundup: March 1-2

Bolton 1-3 Liverpool
When you are looking for your first win at Bolton in...um, a long time (I'm too lazy to look it up, sorry), it really helps if they hand you the first goal on a silver plate. Which is what happened here: a low, long-range shot from Steven Gerrard that was headed just wide until Jussi Jaaskelainen attempted to block it but somehow deflected the ball back into his own net. Having that goal gave Liverpool confidence and enabled them to pass the ball around calmly, and opened up the game as Bolton had to go looking for an equalizer. The problem is that with Nicolas Anelka gone to Stamford Bridge, they don't have much of a goal-scoring threat up front.

For Liverpool, Fernando Torres has been the main threat this season, but he had a relatively quiet game here. Ryan Babel was probably their most dangerous player; he still needs to add some variety to his repertoire, rather than cutting inside onto his right foot all the time, but he did score and terrorized the Bolton defence throughout. I'm still not convinced that Dirk Kuyt should be playing on the other wing, but he did look better today. (Maybe Rafa figures that he's not much of a goal-scorer, so you might as well play him out wide?)

One thing Liverpool need to do is work on their defending at set-pieces. People have been criticizing their zonal marking system for ages, but whereas before they were keeping plenty of clean sheets, this season they seem to be giving up a goal just about every game, and most of them are from set plays. Like the late goal they conceded here -- although at least Fabio Aurelio had given them a bit of insurance just a few minutes before, a beautiful volley for his first-ever Liverpool goal. Anyway, another three points in the bag, and now they have to do the same against West Ham on Wednesday to move back ahead of Everton into fourth place.


Fulham 0-3 Manchester United
When United start with Wayne Rooney and Cristiano Ronaldo on the bench, is that reassuring for their opponents or just insulting? It should be the latter, but I suspect Fulham were just happy that it wasn't any worse for them -- especially Paul Stalteri at right-back, who was roasted more thoroughly than any hooker at one of Ronaldo's parties (and also reminded us of why the Canadian national team is so mediocre).

United never really got out of first gear, but they didn't need to. Owen Hargreaves scored his first goal for the club with an excellent free kick. And Fulham continued their hospitality by allowing Park Ji-Sung his first goal in almost a year, followed by an own-goal to top things off. Oh, but Fulham did finally bring on two strikers in stoppage time -- a futile use of substitutions that sent the commentators I was listening to into a sort of bemused apoplexy.


Arsenal 1-1 Aston Villa
Ohh, so close! So close to a great victory for Villa -- and so close to Manchester United going top of the table on goal difference. I managed to catch the last five minutes of the game yesterday, just in time to see Nicklas Bendtner equalize for Arsenal at the very end of stoppage time. Argh. The fight-back may be a boost to them, but from my perspective, at least they only got one point from this game. And one point is also all that separates them from United in second place.

Also encouraging for rest of the league is that Villa proved that you don't have to kick to death Arsenal to beat them; you just have to out-hustle and out-think them. Arsenal looked disjointed from the outset, and although they threatened more as the game went on, they still weren't producing enough shots that really tested the keeper. (Exception: The hapless Phil Senderos, who I can't even laugh at for that own-goal, because his droopy face makes me want to pat him on the head and bake him cookies.)


West Ham 0-4 Chelsea
Hmm. At least I got to see Frank Lampard sent off. I'm still not entirely sure what the red card was for -- kicking at Luis Boa Morte as he got up from a tackle, shoving him down again afterwards, or what -- or why Boa Morte also didn't get carded for kicking out at Lampard in return. But it means three games with no chance of having to watch that obnoxious ring-kissing celebration, so whatever.

The sending-off might have been controversial, but it didn't really change the game. It was all over by that point, with three Chelsea goals in five first-half minutes: a Lampard penalty plus two sweet finishes by JOe Cole and Michael Ballack. The Chelsea team was dramatically changed from the lineup that they fielded in the Carling Cup, and looked much more effective. Makes you wonder why they left Joe Cole, for example, on the bench for so long last weekend. But then, I'm not a control-freak Russian billionaire, so what do I know about football?


Birmingham 4-1 Tottenham
I suspect that the Tottenham players are still hung over after last weekend. I mean, credit to Birmingham for a solid performance, and Spurs were admittedly fielding a weakened lineup ahead of their UEFA Cup game on Thursday, but come on. When you are giving up hat-tricks to Mikael Forssell, that is not good. Maybe we can blame the yellow kits.


Other results
Everton 3-1 Portsmouth
Derby 0-0 Sunderland
Manchester City 0-0 Wigan
Middlesbrough 0-1 Reading
Newcastle 0-1 Blackburn

Premiership Weekend Roundup: February 23-24

Liverpool 3-2 Middlesbrough
Just in case you needed reminding: Fernando Torres was worth every penny that Rafa Benitez paid for him this summer. His hat-trick here -- which was his second of the season, by the way -- was pretty much the only good thing about Liverpool in this game. Plus an honorable mention to Sami Hyypia, who's having a much better season than anyone expected and had to shepherd Alvaro Arbeloa through the match at centre-half.

Liverpool's back line is carrying a few injuries right now, and Jamie Carragher was suspended on Saturday, so maybe that's why their defending was so awful all game. Tuncay scored Middlesborough's first goal with an unmarked header, and could have had a second goal if he hadn't decided to put the ball in the net with his arm rather than his head. All because of sloppy play by Liverpool, who seem to be making things way harder for themselves than they need to be.

But back to Torres: He's got strength, speed, skill on the ball and, at least at the moment, lethal finishing. (I've also seen him guilty of some shocking misses, but right now, wow, is he on form.) He pounced on a brainless back-header from Julio Arca for the first goal, rounding the keeper and avoiding a couple of tackles before slotting the ball home. For his second, just a couple minutes later, he made himself a yard of space and smashed the ball past the keeper into the corner of the net with a combination of power and precision that Steven Gerrard would have been proud of. The third goal I didn't see, no thanks to Setanta, but we'll assume it was just as good.

As for the rest of the team, the less said, the better. I thought that Lucas in particular was useless, and I'm not just saying that because of my thing about Xabi Alonso. I do like the 4-2-3-1 formation that they were playing, but I think it works better if you've got two proper wingers (i.e., not Dirk Kuyt). It also can leave you playing very narrow if the fullbacks don't get forward -- or, alternatively, vulnerable on the flanks to crosses like the ones Boro were putting in all game.

I feel like I also should say something about the red card for Aliadiere at the end of the game, but did it really make a difference? Maybe Mascherano was lucky not to be sent off as well; maybe the ref didn't see it; maybe he figured it was less serious since Mascherano didn't actually take a swing at another player. Who knows.


Newcastle 1-5 Manchester United
Newcastle really are a farce, aren't they? There were points during the game on Saturday where Manchester United just looked like they were playing with them.

The most glaring problem is their defence, or lack thereof. (I kind of wondered when Shay Given went off at halftime if it was not because of an injury but because he just couldn't cope with the incompetence in front of him anymore.) It was obvious from United's first goal, when Cristiano Ronaldo's cross found Wayne Rooney in acres of space in the box, after N'Zogbia had decided that marking him was optional. The second goal was more about a great ball from Michael Carrick -- who had an excellent game, and I feel compelled to point this out because I've criticized him a lot in the past, but he's getting quite good at those perfectly weighted passes through the defence for the strikers to feed on.

The third: well, more hopeless defending; I think some Newcastle player tried to make a tackle, but failed utterly and let Ronaldo in on goal for his second of the game. Newcastle did pull a goal back off a corner late in the second half, but it was too little, too late. And United responded by scoring again almost immediately: Newcastle didn't clear their lines and Rooney looped the ball into the top corner. Plus another one in stoppage time, as Rooney, despite being on a hat-trick, unselfishly set up Louis Saha, who was in a better position to score and did. United haven't had many easier games this season -- aside from maybe the last time they played Newcastle. And with Arsenal dropping points earlier in the day, they've cut the gap at the top of the table to a very slim three points.


Arsenal 2-2 Birmingham
No schadenfreude from me today. I can't really take pleasure in any game with an injury as horrific as the one to Eduardo, even if it does end up with Arsenal dropping points. I haven't seen any graphic pictures of the tackle, but based on what I've read, I don't want to see them either. (I'd prefer to be able to play tonight and not be paranoid about getting hurt.) I don't think Martin Taylor intended to hurt Eduardo -- it didn't look like a malicious tackle, from what I saw -- but it was late and high, and he thoroughly deserved to be sent off.

Birminham, surprisingly, took a first-half lead with a free kick by James McFadden, as the Arsenal players looked a bit shell-shocked by what had happened. But Arsenal came back strongly after halftime with two goals from Theo Walcott -- his first and second Premiership goals ever. Arsenal dominated for the remainder of the game but didn't convert that dominance into another goal. And they paid for it when Birmingham were awarded a penalty deep into stoppage time, with Gael Clichy switching off for a moment instead of clearing the ball and then committing a foul trying to win it back.

Finally: I was thoroughly unimpressed by William Gallas's behaviour at the end of the match. I've come across other commentators saying that he was upset because he'd wanted to win the game for Eduardo, but to me it looked more like he was pissed off at his teammates for fucking up. Not very captainly.


Other results
Blackburn 4-1 Bolton
Fulham 0-1 West Ham
Portsmouth 1-0 Sunderland
Reading 1-2 Aston Villa
Wigan 2-0 Derby

Champions League Round of 16: February 20

Lyon 1-1 Manchester United
United lined up in the same 4-5-1 that they always seem to use in Europe, but the cautious formation, with Wayne Rooney alone up front, really didn't test the rickety Lyon defence enough. In fact, Lyon started stronger and had a good spell at the beginning of the game before United settled down and got themselves into it. Sir Alex also opted for experience over youth in the starting lineup, with Scholes and Giggs brought back into the team after being left out for the FA Cup win over Arsenal. But although the veterans were enjoying an Indian summer last year, they just don't seem to be up to it this season. Cristiano Ronaldo had a quiet game too, and although United were edging the possession stats, they hadn't created many clear shot -- aside from a good chance that Wayne Rooney missed when clean through on goal in the first half.

Lyon took the lead early in the second half, against the run of play, with Karim Benzema grabbing a goal out of nothing -- three defenders around him, he found space for a powerful shot that was well placed in the corner past Van der Sar. You can certainly see why United might be interested in buying him -- provided he's a bit less fragile than Louis Saha. Sir Alex responded to going behind by replacing Giggs and Scholes with Nani and Tevez, and that made the difference in the end, as Tevez snatched a late equalizer. Overall it was a fairly even game, but United were the better team, and the scoreline should position them well for the return leg at Old Trafford.


Arsenal 0-0 Milan
This was the perfect example of why a scoreless game doesn't have to be boring. It was fascinating to watch, with Arsenal's energy and flair neutralized by Milan's guile. Arsenal's best chance came in stoppage time, when Adebayor headed a cross from Theo Walcott onto the crossbar. Adebayor was the focal point of their attack throughout, with perhaps more long balls forward than we're used to seeing from Arsenal, in hopes of catching the Milan defence off-guard. Milan, meanwhile, started with Pato on his own up front, somewhat surprisingly -- I would've thought that Pippo Inzaghi was made for nights like this, but maybe he's not quite fit? -- and although the duckling showed flashes of his potential, ultimately it was a frustrating night for him.

Both teams lost key defenders to injury -- Toure in the 7th minute, Nesta in the 50th -- but although Toure's absence could be a bigger blow to Arsenal in the long run, they coped better here than Milan did. Milan's strength, as usual, was their midfield, but Flamini nullified Kaka & co. quite effectively. Arsenal should be happy to have kept a clean sheet but regret not winning the game outright. Now they have to go to Italy and get something from the San Siro. In other seasons you might say that's a tall order, but it's less daunting when you consider Milan's home form this year.

In any case, it will give me another opportunity to partake in the Milan Drinking Game, the most important part of which involves taking a drink every time the commentators mention Maldini's age. Guaranteed to get you drunk by halftime.


Celtic 2-3 Barcelona
Barcelona went behind to Celtic twice before finally coming back to win with two goals from Lionel Messi and another from Thierry Henry. It was a very back-and-forth game but Barcelona had the majority of the possession and shots and thoroughly deserved the win. So much for Celtic's excellent home record in European games -- and now they have to hope to win in Spain which is, shall we say, not bloody likely.

Fenerbahce 3-2 Sevilla
Another five-goal game, this one decided by a goal from substitute Semih Senturk in the 87th minute to give Fenerbahce the win. The Turkish team took the lead initially, with Sevilla equalizing a few minutes later through an own-goal, and Fenerbahce going ahead again in the second half before Sevilla levelled things up once more. I'm still deciding whether to bother watching this later.

FA Cup Fifth Round: February 16-17

Liverpool 1-2 Barnsley
I don't know how many times I can keep saying the same things: "They didn't play badly, but..." "It's not a bad result, but..." But, but, but...it's not good enough.

I've seen other people complaining about the lineup that Rafa put out, but I didn't have a problem with that; even without Torres and Gerrard, they still ought to have been able to win, and win easily. The one player I would quibble about, though, is Itandje in goal. When do you decide that he's simply not good enough, even as a backup keeper? Because I think he was at fault for Barnsley's first goal, where he started to come for the ball and then got caught out of position.

Liverpool did have lots of chances, but were foiled by a combination of (a) very good goalkeeping by Luke Steele on his debut; (b) woeful finishing -- I lost count of the number of scuffed shots; and (c) hordes of Barnsley players flinging themselves at the ball for crucial blocks. Barnsley worked their asses off for 90 minutes and thoroughly deserved that fairy-tale last-minute winner. But Liverpool should also be questioning themselves for not taking advantage of more of the chances they created, and also for not creating better chances. If you're up against a team that's packing players into the box, then you need to find a way to draw them out, find space and attack quickly, leave the defenders chasing you around the pitch.

So, the Champions League it is then. No problem. Liverpool just have to get past the best team in Serie A. Shouldn't be too difficult for a club that can't even beat a mid-table Championship side.

Incidentally, on the Xabi Alonso watch (because I have my little preoccupations; bear with me), I thought he had a pretty good game. Aside from, um, losing the ball in the buildup to Barnsley's winning goal. Of course, that doesn't matter at all, because it just means he won't play against Inter on Tuesday. Yay for rotation.


Manchester United 4-0 Arsenal
Ahahahahaha, fantastic. That certainly cheered me up after the Liverpool game. (Sadly, Sarah probably hates me this weekend.) And it's a great psychological boost for United as they try to close the five-point gap on Arsenal in the league.

I was skeptical about the lineup, particularly with Cristiano Ronaldo not even on the bench -- apparently the poor baby had a tummy-ache. But Arsenal fielded an understrength team too, without Adebayor and a few other first-string players. I think Fergie and Arsene were playing a calculated game to see which of them could weaken his team the most and still win. The answer, clearly, was not Arsenal.

United were two-nil up within the first 20 minutes, helped by some less than stellar Arsenal defending that let both Wayne Rooney and Darren Fletcher score from headers. Neither of them is, as far as I know, supposed to be particularly good in the air. Although to be fair to Arsenal, it seems that we got the Scotland Darren Fletcher (i.e., the one that's not crap) rather than the Man Utd version.

Nani added a third goal before halftime, and more than made up for Ronaldo's absence with a couple of juggling exhibitions later in the game that were basically designed to make Arsenal look like idiots. Emmanuel Eboue had been sent off early in the second half, too, for an inexplicable lunge at Patrice Evra, and United seemed to be playing for fun after that. They were springing Arsenal's offside trap easily all game, and the final score could've easily been six-nil if some of those passes had been a bit better weighted or Rooney's first touch more assured. They did manage to score a fourth, though, and the fact that Darren Fletcher got two goals says it all, really.


Other results
Preston 0-1 Portsmouth
Sheffield United 0-0 Middlesbrough
Cardiff 2-0 Wolverhamption
Coventry 0-5 West Brom
Chelsea 3-1 Huddersfield Town
Bristol Rovers 1-0 Southampton

Quarter-final draw
Sheffield United/Middlesbrough v Cardiff City
Manchester United v Portsmouth
Bristol Rovers v West Brom
Barnsley v Chelsea

Premiership Weekend Roundup: December 15-16

Liverpool 0-1 Manchester United
Poor Rafa just cannot win. He rotates his team and people slag him off for that; he keeps an unchanged team from the one that steamrolled Marseilles, and they look toothless.

Maybe it wasn't the greatest football on display -- mostly a lot of hustle and bustle in midfield -- but I thought it was great fun to watch because of how tense it was and how closely matched the two teams were. The difference basically came down to Carlos Tevez versus Fernando Torres. Tevez benefited from a defensive lapse by Liverpool -- first nobody picking up Wayne Rooney on the edge of the box at a corner, and then Yossi Benayoun staying glued to the post to play Tevez onside -- to score United's only goal.

Torres, on the other hand, had his best chance on goal with a free header from a couple yards out with the keeper out of position, but sent it just wide. Torres definitely wasn't at his best in this game, but on the other hand he didn't get much help from the rest of the team. Steven Gerrard was playing a bit deeper and didn't get forward in support as much, while the wide players were not particularly effective -- although that was a problem for both teams, not just Liverpool.

And neither team actually created all that many real shots on goal; probably because they were giving up possession too easily to let them develop the play. In fact, some of Liverpool's best chances came from braincramps from Edwin van der Sar, who kept coming off his line and running straight into a defender. But they didn't capitalize on their lucky breaks, and United did, which means Liverpool are now 10 points behind Arsenal at the top of the table.

It's really not a great result for Liverpool; they may indeed be out of the title race. But I don't expect this to actually precipitate a crisis at the club. Let's face it, the owners are fundamentally practical, and they're going to recognize that the win against Marseille in midweek was far more important to the club's finances than losing to United here.

As for United, this should be a morale-booster for them. Not that they were exactly lacking in morale before. But I think the game was a reminder that they do have a good enough squad that they should be serious contenders for more than one trophy this year.


Arsenal 1-0 Chelsea
Well, Manuel Almunia turns out to be basically the only one of the "big four" goalkeepers who came out of this weekend with his reputation enhance. Petr Cech? Not so much. I have no idea how he missed that ball, but he did, leaving William Gallas to once again step up with a crucial goal for Arsenal. (Although I am still dubious about Arsene Wenger making him captain. Also dubious: his mohawk.)

Anyway, like the United-Liverpool game, I found this one quite entertaining, despite the lack of pretty football. Mostly I was amused by how chippy the game was, seeing as I dislike both teams. Arsenal at least can present this as a rebuttal to people who say that they can be bullied out of games, because they gave as good as they got against Chelsea. Also I don't have a huge amount of sympathy for the injuries to John Terry, who was being his usual petulant self, or Emmanuel Eboue, who makes JT look like the epitome of gentlemanly behaviour by comparison.


Other results
Wigan 5-3 Blackburn
Manchester City 4-2 Bolton
West Ham 0-2 Everton
Portsmouth 0-1 Tottenham
Sunderland 1-1 Aston Villa
Birmingham 1-1 Reading
Fulham 0-1 Newcastle
Derby 0-1 Middlesbrough

Premiership Weekend Roundup: December 8-9

Reading 3-1 Liverpool
Rafa moves in mysterious ways. I really have no explanation for his decisions in this game -- either the 4-3-3 formation he sent out, which, most bizarrely, featured Peter Crouch as a left winger, or his substitutions, taking off Fernando Torres and Steven Gerrard when Liverpool were chasing the game.

Yes, they had some bad luck -- a penalty against Jamie Carragher for a foul outside the box, one or two penalty shouts in Liverpool's favour that weren't given, a couple of shots that hit the crossbar -- but that luck wouldn't have been such a decisive factor
if Liverpool had played better. The players looked confused and disorganized by the formation. They were way too narrow in midfield, and yet they weren't even able to clog up the play and shut Reading down, because of the way they kept giving the ball away and having to chase around like headless chickens.

Dear Rafa,

A couple notes:

1. If you want to convince the owners to let you buy more players, the way to do that is not to totally misuse the ones you have.
2. If you want to win the Premiership, like you say, the way to do that is not to give up against Reading with 20 minutes left in the game.

Worriedly,
Footie Girl

Gah, Liverpool. I don't even know what to say. I just wish they would stop lurching back and forth between triumph and crisis.


Manchester United 4-1 Derby
It took United quite a while to break down Derby -- not helped by the torrential downpour and the slow, rain-sodden pitch -- but there was a sense that it was inevitable. Although Derby had a few decent ventures forward, including a consolation goal in the second half, they were a mess at the back. After United's first goal -- Ryan Giggs scoring his 100th Premier League goal, with the rebound from Cristiano Ronaldo's shot -- they just fell apart and couldn't seem to clear their lines. The second goal was just a few minutes later, Carlos Tevez having enough time to miss the ball completely with his first kick before scoring with his second. Tevez added another in the second half, but was denied a hat-trick when Ronaldo was awarded a rather dubious penalty and decided to take the shot himself. Oh, Ronniecakes. I try to defend you, I really do, but it's not easy when you pull stunts like this.


Middlesbrough 2-1 Arsenal
Possibly the best result of the weekend, from my perspective. United's win over Derby was entirely expected, whereas this was a pleasant surprise. Thank you, Boro. It wasn't always pretty, but it was beautiful to watch them hassle the je ne sais quoi right out of Arsenal. Also, I would just like to reiterate my dislike for Emmanuel Eboue. Here's the thing: You can either play dirty and kick people constantly, or you can fall over if someone looks at you wrong and complain about being fouled. (I won't particularly like it, but I'll probably let it slide.) But you cannot do both. If you do, it makes you, like Eboue, a loathsome little snake who would be better suited to some other sporting pursuit, like WWF wrestling or maybe ice dancing.


Other results
Aston Villa 1-3 Portsmouth
Blackburn 0-1 West Ham
Bolton 4-1 Wigan
Chelsea 2-0 Sunderland
Everton 3-0 Fulham
Newcastle 2-1 Birmingham
Tottenham 2-1 Manchester City

Premiership Weekend Roundup: November 24-25

Newcastle 0-3 Liverpool
A lot of teams seemed to be suffering from an international hangover this week, and Liverpool were no exception, despite the score. Aside from Steven Gerrard, who was fantastic -- and why the hell can't he do that for England, or even for Liverpool on a consistent basis? -- the team weren't all that great. But it didn't matter, because Newcastle were very bad, to the point of being incapable of getting the ball out of their own end. In fact, the scoreline would have been even more lopsided if Fernando Torres had put away even one or two of the chances he had. (I am trying my very best not to think about all the rumours flying around about Rafa throwing a hissy fit in the general direction of Hicks and Gillette.)

Bolton 1-0 Manchester United
Ok, so: last year Bolton were a decent team, and United thumped them home and away. This year they've been crap and yet United go down tamely to defeat. That is not right, y'all. I think part of the problem was that they let Bolton get to them with the constant fouling -- nothing that was too far over the line, but just enough to get under their skin. And of course there was that defensive fuckup by Gerard Pique, thrown on at centre half after Vidic was injured with Serbia. But the big part of the problem was that their attack wasn't clicking, with Rooney out and Saha ineffective (and contrast that with the difference that Nicolas Anelka made for Bolton). I still don't understand why Ronaldo wasn't at least on the bench; even if he needed a rest after the internationals, he could have managed 20 minutes at least.

Derby 0-2 Chelsea
Even an understrength Chelsea had no problem overcoming poor Derby, who continue to suck. But the game did serve as a preview of what Chelsea will be missing when Drogba and Essien (among others) take off to Africa in January. Really, apart from the eye-bleedingly horrific away kits, it was most notable for John Terry acting like a petulant two-year-old every time a decision went against his team. What a shining example for the national team he is.

Arsenal 2-0 Wigan
Arsenal left it very late to pull out a win, once again inspired by a goal from captain William Gallas. Before that they'd looked a bit sluggish, with Theo Walcott one of the few players who stood out, although there was still no end product for him in the form of a goal.

Everton 7-1 Sunderland
How would you like to be in the dressing room with Roy Keane after this match? *shiver* I imagine he could kill you without even loosening his tie. You do have to wonder, though, what kind of halftime team talk he gave, considering that Sunderland went in with the score at 3-1, still half a chance, and then came out and got even worse in the second half. Other questions: What more does Mikel Arteta have to do to get a game for Spain? And would the Sunderland defence have been more effective if they had just put four big piles of crap out there instead? ...Oh.

Other results
Manchester City 2-1 Reading
Birmingham 0-2 Portsmouth
Middlesbrough 0-3 Aston Villa
Fulham 2-2 Blackburn
West Ham 1-1 Tottenham

Premiership Weekend Roundup: November 3-4

Arsenal 2-2 Manchester United
If you'd offered me a draw beforehand, I would have snatched at it -- especially with United having lost this same fixture last year. But having come so close to winning, only to have it slip away at the last moment, it's impossible not to be a bit disappointed. I was happy with the way United played for the most part, though. They worked hard to close down Arsenal and didn't let them get into their fluid passing, and although they sometimes found it hard to establish a rhythm of their own, I think United had the better chances in the first half. And Wayne Rooney pounced on one of those half-chances just before halftime, turning in Ronaldo's cross off William Gallas at the near post.

But Arsenal equalized just after the break, with Edwin Van der Sar stopping Emmanuel Adebayor's shot after a flowing forward move, only for the rebound to be played out to Cesc Fabregas, whose finish took advantage of the keeper being out of position. Neither team seemed content to settle for a draw, though, with Arsenal bringing on Theo Walcott, and United countering that with Louis Saha and Michael Carrick in place of Carlos Tevez and Anderson. (Anderson, incidentally, had another good game; he may not have the guile of Paul Scholes in midfield -- at least not yet -- but he does offer the advantage of actually being able to tackle without getting booked for it.) It looked as if United's substitutions would win them the game, Saha playing a lovely reverse pass to Patrice Evra, who squared the ball for Cristiano Ronaldo to slot home. But there was a nervy end to the match for United, including Evra spooning the ball just over his own crossbar, and it ended with a stoppage-time scramble in the box, Gallas atoning for his earlier own-goal with an excellent finish; Van der Sar cleared the ball, but it had already crossed the line and the linesman rightly (much as I hate to say it) signaled the goal.

Speaking of the officials: I think Sir Alex is overreacting by claiming they were biased towards Arsenal, but I nevertheless would have liked it if Howard Webb could have refrained from whistling the play dead every 30 seconds and just let them play. Still, it was an exciting game, and it leaves things too close to call between these two teams; it's impossible to predict who's going to come out on top in the end.


Blackburn 0-0 Liverpool
Liverpool are, along with Arsenal, the only undefeated teams in the Premiership so far. But that's about all they have in common at the moment. Away to Blackburn is always a tricky match, but Liverpool looked very laboured here, lacking the kind of attacking creativity that they need if they're going to challenge for the title this year (or, for that matter, if they're going to get any farther in the Champions League). I understand that Rafa likes hard-working players, but that doesn't necessarily preclude players with flair as well -- you just have to look at the lineups in the Arsenal-United match to see that. Liverpool played the same 4-2-3-1 formation as last week, but with Ryan Babel and Yossi Benayoun on the wings -- a change that I actually prefer, although they did both have an unfortunate tendency to creep in towards the middle too much, rather than using the space to spread the play out.

With Fernando Torres injured and Andriy Voronin's wife having gone into labour, Dirk Kuyt was on his own up front and...well, he tried hard. But he just didn't seem to know what to do once he'd gotten into the 18-yard box. It was the sort of headless chicken display unhappily reminiscent of Milan Baros, except without the pace. The moment that stood out the most was Steven Gerrard, supporting the play, steaming into the box only for Kuyt to dribble the ball tamely into the keeper. I also have to wonder what Peter Crouch has done that means Rafa doesn't trust him anymore, because Liverpool did look much better once he and Harry Kewell came on, forcing a couple of good saves from Brad Friedel. Maybe if they'd been brought on earlier, Liverpool could have picked up all three points and closed the gap on the teams above them. As it is, though, they should just be thankful that Jamie Carragher continues his charmed life, not conceding a penalty despite going in to block a shot with his arms up over his head.


Wigan 0-2 Chelsea
With Chelsea in form right now and Wigan emphatically not, the scoreline was pretty predictable. The only thing mildly surprising, actually, was that Didier Drogba wasn't one of the goal-scorers for Chelsea. He was involved in the first goal, though, feeding the ball out to Shaun Wright-Phillips to run at the defenders and sent a curling ball across behind the Wigan back line for Frank Lampard to run onto and score. (And let me just mention that his goal celebration makes me want to hit him in the face.) Wright-Phillips contributed to the second goal, too, keeping the ball from going out for a throw and feeding Juliano Belletti, who sauntered forward with the defenders backing away, and eventually saw his long-distance shot swerve past Chris Kirkland into the net. That was it; 2-0 after 20 minutes was essentially game over. So there was no goal-fest like Chelsea had against Manchester City last weekend, although I suppose that's small consolation for Wigan.

Newcastle 1-4 Portsmouth
I imagine that Shay Given is sitting at home right now being grateful that he was injured for this game. Having Sam Allardyce as a manager has apparently not made Newcastle's defense any less porous, and they were three goals down after 12 minutes. Maybe it was hard to fault them for the first goal, a left-footed screamer from Noe Pamarot, but the next two were almost entirely due to Cacapa doing his best impression of a pylon to allow first Benjani and then Utaku to score. It was so bad that he was hauled off the pitch shortly thereafter. Newcastle did manage to pull one back, with Michael Owen's shot ricocheting into the net off David James and Sol Campbell, but they were unable to score the second goal that might have made this a close contest. In the end it was Portsmouth who scored again, from Nico Kranjcar's free kick, thanks to -- once again -- some lax Newcastle defending.


Other results
Aston Villa 2-0 Derby
Everton 3-1 Birmingham
Fulham 3-1 Reading
Middlesbrough 1-1 Tottenham
West Ham 1-1 Bolton

Carling Cup Fourth Round: October 30-31

So, the eight teams left at this point are all from the Premiership, which is kind of boring. But the fourth-round results were reasonably interesting, including a late penalty for Manchester City, a 90th-minute winner for West Ham, and Everton winning with an extra-time goal.

Chelsea went behind twice to Leicester, and needed a hat-trick from Lampard plus a late goal from Shevchenko before they finally went through. I was a bit surprised that they had such trouble with the game, considering they hadn't make all that many changes from their slaughter of Man City last weekend.

The Arsenal babies + Gilberto won as well, and won handily, so that's nice for them. Also Fran Merida looks like some kind of mini-Fabregas, although I don't know how that's even possible, because Cesc really isn't old enough to have a mini-me.

Oh, and Liverpool have apparently remembered how to win games, yay. Although they did need Steven Gerrard to score the winning goal, and he wouldn't have been playing at all if Sissoko had been healthy (and what exactly is wrong with Momo, does anyone know?). Then again, I did say before that he's started to play himself back into form, and for that he needs games, so I guess it's not such a bad thing.

Results
Coventry 1-2 West Ham
Luton 0-1 Everton
Tottenham 2-0 Blackpool
Bolton 0-1 Manchester City
Portsmouth 1-2 Blackburn
Sheffield United 0-3 Arsenal
Liverpool 2-1 Cardiff
Chelsea 4-3 Leicester

The draw for the quarter-finals should take place at the beginning of December on Saturday (thanks, weenie!).

Premiership Weekend Roundup: October 27-28

Liverpool 1-1 Arsenal
Liverpool finally got Xabi Alonso and Fernando Torres back from injury, and immediately lost them again. This, to put it bluntly, sucks. It sucks hard. Losing Xabi for another six weeks or whatever is an especially serious blow. He started slowly against Arsenal but he was working himself into the match, and when he's on his game, he plays the same sort of role for Liverpool that Fabregas does for Arsenal, with his ability to find a pass and dictate the tempo -- although he doesn't get forward as much, and nor does he have the same sort of options in terms of players to pass to. (I also think that Xabi's defensive work is often underrated, although that's less of a consideration with Mascherano beside him, snapping into tackles.)

Rafa decided to start on Sunday with Torres up front, supported by Kuyt and Voronin, who are both hard workers but certainly not proper wingers, and also don't have the legs to cover the amount of ground that the needed to. (I'm still not sure why at least one of Babel and Benayoun wasn't on the pitch from the beginning.) Combined with the defence sitting deeper to avoid getting caught out by Arsenal's speed, that left Torres isolated too often, and a lot of space in midfield for Alonso and Mascherano to cover, with Steven Gerrard pushing forward.

Torres was evidently not match fit (despite Rafa having said that he was very close to playing against Everton last week); because of that he didn't seem to be able to hold the ball up as well as he usually does. Crouch -- who's been ignored for most of this season -- did a lot better once he came on at halftime, and sort of made me wonder why he hasn't been used more.

Overall, I think a draw was a fair result. Looking at the stats, I was surprised to see that the teams had an equal number of attempts on goal, and Liverpool actually had more shots on target. Nevertheless, I was nervous every time Arsenal came forward -- and they came forward a lot -- just waiting for them to pick holes in the back line. Jamie Carragher had to do a lot of last-ditch defending, and the team was helped by the referees once again ignoring some of his more physical play, as well as Arsenal hitting the post a couple times. (Seriously, how did Cesc miss that open goal?) It couldn't last, though, and Fabregas finally equalized in the 80th minute, cancelling out Gerrard's excellent free kick early in the first half.

The other thing about the injuries to Torres and Alonso is that they forced Rafa's hand in terms of substitutions. By the time Xabi went off for as the third sub, Arbeloa was pretty much the only option to bring on, and for some reason Rafa stuck him in centre midfield -- rather than, say, putting Arbeloa at left back, moving Riise to left mid, and having Gerrard drop in to hold centre midfield with Mascherano. And then Mascherano got hurt too; I'm pretty sure that he was limping by the time Arsenal scored, and I think Arbeloa was the one who was tracking Fabregas but lost him on that goal. Just saying.

On the other hand, Liverpool are still unbeaten, their upcoming string of games doesn't look too tough, Torres hopefully won't be out for too long, and Stevie G. seems to be playing himself back into form. I'm trying to look on the bright side here, people.


Manchester United 4-1 Middlesbrough
That would be four goals for United, in the fourth consecutive game. Not bad for a team that seemed to be struggling not so long ago.

Nani opened the scoring early by wriggling past a couple of defenders on the left and then unleashing a stunning, unstoppable shot into the far corner. Middlesbrough have often been a tricky team for United, though, and they came back almost immediately, with a free header from Jeremie Aliadiere from Tuncay's cross. You have to give credit to Boro for actually coming to Old Trafford to play football, not just to stifle the home team -- but that just meant that they ended up giving United way too much time and space on the ball. It looked for a while like it might be a close game. But then Rooney and Tevez clicked into gear, Rooney scoring the second goal and setting up Tevez for the third with a sublime combination, a one-two into the box and then a backheel to tee up the shot.

United confirmed today that Paul Scholes will be out for three months with a knee injury, which is a blow, but not as big as it could have been, with Anderson turning in another good performance and Owen Hargreaves back for only his fourth game to anchor the midfield. Cristiano Ronaldo was relatively subdued for once, but it didn't much matter with the other attacking options available. The trip to the Emirates on Saturday is going to be one hell of a game.


Chelsea 6-0 Manchester City
Yeesh. I think I liked it better when Chelsea were boring. This kind of powerful, incisive football...well, it's probably fun to watch for the neutrals, but less so if you hate their whole arrogant, overpaid, unpleasant team. This was an impressive result, though -- the more so because City have been doing so well until now. They were still in the game up to halftime, when it was only 2-0, but Drogba's goal just after the break meant that they basically collapsed, and the rest of the game was spent with Chelsea camped out in their opponents' half of the pitch. City just couldn't seem to get a grip on Chelsea in midfield -- and I have to give credit to Frank Lampard here; he had a good game, much as I dislike his stupid smug face and his stupid short shorts. Michael Essien, also, was tearing them apart down the right, while the City left-back, Javier Garrido, was essentially useless (I had to look his name up after the game, that's how invisible he was for 90 minutes). The icing on the cake for Chelsea: a 90th-minute goal for Andriy Shevchenko. I think I may have even seen Roman Abramovich smile.


Other results
Birmingham 3-2 Wigan
Portsmouth 0-0 West Ham
Reading 2-1 Newcastle
Sunderland 1-1 Fulham
Tottenham 1-2 Blackburn
Bolton 1-1 Aston Villa
Derby 0-2 Everton