Champions League Quarter-finals: April 5

I am officially one for four in my predictions for this round. Excellent. If I try to make predictions for the World Cup, somebody stop me, please?

Juventus 0 - 0 Arsenal (aggregate 0-2)
Arsenal could have come to Turin determined to just sit back and defend their lead, the way Liverpool did last year. But that's not the way they play, so it was a very open game. Both sides had some decent chances but Arsenal still looked like the better team -- although it took a couple of excellent tackles from Kolo Toure and some good saves from Lehmann to keep them in it.

Pavel Nedved was supposed to provide the spark for Juventus that had been missing from the first leg. Which I suppose he did, if by "spark" you mean getting flagged for offside, tossing his Farrah Fawcett hair petulantly at the refee, and finally getting sent off for a reckless challenge on Eboue. Game over for Juve.


Barcelona 2 - 0 Benfica (aggregate 2-0)
Barcelona had a chance at a penalty in the first five minutes, after a handball in the box, but Ronaldinho's shot wasn't well placed and the Benfica keeper saved it. Ronaldinho made up for it later by scoring Barca's first goal, from a cross from Eto'o. Benfica had been sloppy around their own penalty area, giving the ball away too easily, and Barcelona can create chances from nothing if you give them the tiniest bit of space.

The geniuses at TSN skipped over the first 25 minutes of the second half for no apparent reason, but from the scoreline I guess it wasn't that interesting. They did pick up the broadcast in time for me to see Eto'o kill off the game with a second goal.

Champions League Quarter-finals: March 28

Arsenal 2 - 0 Juventus
I'm off to a stellar start with my predictions once again. Arsene Wenger, on the other hand, apparently was looking in a crystal ball when he decided to sell Patrick Vieira at the end of last season, because last night the former terror of Highbury got taken apart by an 18-year-old muppet from Spain. And the rest of the Juventus team was equally useless. That's the thing about playing against a bunch of youngsters: they can run you into the ground, like Arsenal did here. It even seems to have rubbed off on Pires and Reyes, who usually spend most of their time falling over and sulking extravagantly.

Arsenal still have a tough game when they head to Turin for the return leg, but the odds are in their favour now, especially with Vieira, Camoranesi and Zebina suspended after they collectively lost the plot in this match. Liverpool managed to keep a clean sheet against Juventus in same fixture last year, and if they can do it then Arsenal should be able to do the same, even with their makeshift back line (at least they don't have Djimi Traore).


Benfica 0 - 0 Barcelona
Raise your hands if you were expecting a scoreless draw. Yeah, me neither. It was fun to watch, though -- very open play, lots of end-to-end stuff, although the possession stats were about 60/40 in favour of Barca in the first half. They should have been up by three or four goals at that point, but they'd missed some gilt-edged chances. Benfica, in contrast, were shooting from 25 or 30 yards out all the time, rather than trying to thread their way through the Barcelona defence -- which you would have thought was a good idea, with Puyol missing and all.

My tape cut out five minutes just after halftime, thanks to my inability to read the TV guide properly, but I'm going to assume the second half was more of the same: Barcelona toying with Benfica but failing to put in any decent shots on goal, Benfica breaking forward to counterattack whenever they could, and the Benfica keeper alternating between moments of brilliance and fits of complete lunacy.

Champions League Round of 16: March 7

Barcelona 1 - 1 Chelsea (aggregate 3-2)
You know what's great? Coming home from a long day at work, settling in on the couch with some leftover curry, and watching Chelsea get schooled by Ronaldinho. I kind of love him and his crazy teeth now. He just always looks so happy out there -- whether he's scoring a goal or getting called for a foul, there he is, smiling away. Which is more than you can say for Jose Mourinho. (I especially love whoever it was in the editing booth who put together the montages of the Not-So-Special One looking disgusted on the sidelines.)

Mourinho has been about as charming and gracious in defeat as you'd expect, insisting that the better team didn't win and Chelsea would have prevailed if they'd played 11-v-11 for both legs. Which is crap, because Chelsea didn't play that well. They came into this game knowing they had to score at least twice, but with a few exceptions like John Terry, they weren't really playing like they wanted to win. Mr 2nd-Best-Player-in-the-World was invisible for way too much of the game, aside from scoring that dubious penalty.

Plus, it's not as if Chelsea had one of their players sent off arbitrarily in the first leg, just to spite them or whatever. Del Horno fouled Messi because he couldn't defend against him cleanly, and his team paid the price. Gallas must have breathed a sigh of relief when the wee Argentine went off injured in the second leg -- not that it really seemed to help.

Also: I think this was the first time I'd seen footage of the Nou Camp, and wow, it's incredible. It kind of reminded me of the quidditch stadium from Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, actually. (Shut up.)


Juventus 2 - 1 Werder Bremen (aggregate 4-4)
You know, I kind of wish I'd watched the Italian commentary instead. I woildn't have understood what they were saying, but at least I wouldn't have had to listen to the Americans on ESPN and their obsession with offside calls.

Anyway, on to the game itself: I was half-heartedly rooting for Werder Bremen on the strength of their whacked-out orange and green uniforms, plus the fact that I figure Juventus is sort of the Chelsea of Serie A. The first leg was a crazy 3-2 in favour of Bremen, but Juve had the advantage on away goals, so both teams needed to press hard in this leg. Which they did, albeit only sporadically.

Tim Wiese, the Bremen keeper, had a damn good game up until the last five minutes, when he dropped the ball and Emerson pounced to put Juve through. Ouch. (Someone also needs to tell Wiese that his tight pink jersey makes him look like he has man-boobs.)


Villareal 1 - 1 Rangers (aggregate 3-3)
Oh, come on. You didn't really think Rangers were going to make it through, did you?


Up next: Liverpool go out with a whimper rather than a bang, Arsenal are the last quote-unquote English team left in the competition, and I attempt to console myself with Andriy Shevchenko.

Champions League Round of 16: February 22

Just pretend I posted this a couple days ago, okay? The Olympics are wreaking havoc with my football-watching schedule.

Chelsea 1 - 2 Barcelona
I'm not sure what was the most frightening visual: Puyol's hair (how does he even see the ball through that mop?) or Barca's neon yellow uniforms. Deco's eyebrows were a distant third.

Actually, it was kind of an ugly game all round, from the condition of the pitch to the two own-goals. Although Chelsea did a decent job of containing Barcelona in the first half, you still had the sense that the Spanish team could break through at any time. Chelsea came out hard to start the second half and eke out a goal, but after that it was all Barca. Samuel Eto'o scored a gorgeous second goal, leaving Chelsea with a huge disadvantage to overcome at the Nou Camp.

As for that controversial red card for Del Horno? I thought it was a bit harsh, but definitely at least a yellow. Plus, I'm in favour of anything that pisses off Jose Mourinho.

Werder Bremen 3 - 2 Juventus
This is where you pull out all the clichés about it being a game of two halves and whatnot. It was end-to-end play in the first half, with Bremen enjoying most of the possession, finally grabbing a messy goal just before the break. The second half was much chippier, with momentum shifting back and forth. Juve equalized and then took the lead after some terrible defending from Bremen, but the Bundesliga's top offence scored twice more in a frantic end to the game. This one could go either way next week.

Ajax 2 - 2 Inter Milan
Ajax scored twice within the first 20 minutes, with Inter's defence looking ragged. After that, Ajax were content to sit back, soak up the pressure, and break forward when they could. Inter had lots of possession but still looked cautious, although they were unlucky not to score just before halftime, with the ball pinging off the crossbar twice in a row. But a totally different Inter team came out for the second half and pulled one back right away. The game opened up again then, with both teams giving the ball away a lot. Inter managed a well-deserved equalizer in the last five minutes, giving them the advantage heading into the second leg.

Rangers 2 - 2 Villareal
They didn't show this game here, which was fine with me since I don't care about either team -- aside from my residual bitterness that Villareal got through to the knockout rounds instead of United. I'm sticking with my prediction that Rangers will be the team to go out.