Champions League Quarter-final Wrap-up

Bayern Munich 0 - 2 AC Milan
Bayern had relied on defender Daniel Van Buyten to equalize twice in the first leg, which was unlikely to happen again here. Instead Milan's two first-half goals went unanswered, as they were able to just protect their lead for the rest of the game -- a display of typical Italian defending like Roma had completely failed to provide the day before. (I think the second Milan goal was actually offside, though. I know those close calls are hard for the linesman, but it's Pippo Inzaghi; if you put your flag up every time, the odds are going to be on your side.)

I don't want to jinx United, but I'm not overly worried about facing Milan in the semi-finals. I think Bayern's problem was that their attack was too one-dimensional to break down Milan's defence, which is not something you can say about United right now. Plus, obviously, I'm dubious about how Paolo Maldini's creaky legs will hold up against Cristiano Ronaldo.


Valencia 1 - 2 Chelsea
Ok, so: Jose Mourinho is an asshole (and his team are assholes too -- did they really need to whine at the ref about every call? Or not give possession back after a drop ball?), but he does get things right with his substitutions most of the time. Valencia had taken the lead before halftime with a great spell of pressure that probably should have seen them up by two or three. But they didn't capitalize on the advantage, and Mourinho brought on Joe Cole at halftime to shake things up. Shevchenko equalized after a scramble in the box (apparently he only scores in cup competitions), and then Chelsea basically went into their sledghehammer mode.

Valencia, in contrast, looked so terrified of conceding again that they didn't want to attack. And they paid for that caution in the end, as Essien steamed forward from right-back in the 90th minute and hammered a low, hard shot past Canizares at the near post. He'd already made a couple of brilliant saves to keep his team in the game, but he might have done better there. If Shay Given is the Iker Casillas of the Premiership, then Canizares, I think, is the David James of La Liga.


Liverpool 1 - 0 PSV Eindhoven
Rafa, unsurprisingly, rested a lot of players for this game; maybe half the team, at the most, would have been regular starters. PSV had a few chances, but overall they didn't seem particularly interested in winning the game. With Liverpool taking things easy too, most of the excitement was coming from the crowd, who managed to keep up a remarkable level of noise that was totally out of proportion to the game in front of them. The only notable incident in the first half was Craig Bellamy going off injured -- unfortunate, but it let Liverpool bring on Robbie Fowler for an exercise in nostalgia.

The second half was more of the same -- that is, not much -- until the referee showed a red card to Marcellis for a relatively tame challenge, in what I can only assume was a misguided attempt to liven things up. Shortly after that, Peter Crouch scored the only goal of the game -- he's now got a good chance at ending up the Champions League top scorer, if you can believe that. I suppose Liverpool could have done more to capitalize on their man advantage, but avoiding any more injuries was more important, as they strolled through to the semi-finals.


So it's going to be a rematch of Liverpool v. Chelsea. Greeeeeeat. The mind games have already started; YNBA and I are starting a pool for how many times Jose Mourinho mentions Luis Garcia's goal.

I know someone's going to ask me who I'd be supporting if Liverpool and United end up meeting in the final. It's a tough call; I usually cheer for United, but in this case... well, it kind of depends on what happens in the other competitions. If United win the league and the FA Cup, as I hope they will, then I'll be cheering for Liverpool to win in Athens. Just to be fair. And as much as I'd love to see United win the treble, I would really, really love to watch Steven Gerrard lift that trophy again. And if United haven't won anything else at that point, it'll mean that they've fucked up somewhere, so I'll be mad at them and probably cheering for Liverpool anyway.

Champions League Quarter-finals: April 3

PSV Eindhoven 0 - 3 Liverpool
I didn't think a 3-0 Liverpool win could be so boring. The firsrt 25 minutes or so were especially dull -- lots of Liverpool possession without ever really threatening the PSV goal. I mainly amused myself by counting the number of times that Carragher and Agger passed back and forth to each other.

PSV had obviously come out playing for a draw, which might have been a better idea if they hadn't been so terrible defensively. Partly that's because they were missing Alex, who was a key player when they beat Arsenal. Partly they just didn't seem to know what they were doing. Or, in fact, to care. They finally put a bit of pressure on Liverpool in the last third of the game, but it was way too late by that point.

Good points, from a Liverpool perspective:
- Mascherano, who impressed me once again for being able to tackle and not constantly giving the ball away like Sissoko does.
- Two great crosses from Steve Finnan to set up the goals for Gerrard and Crouch. (Is Finnan the most underrated right back in the Premiership? I say yes.)
- Peter Crouch, for the second game in a row, actually getting some power on his header. Have they been giving him lessons, finally?

Bad points:
- Losing Aurelio to injury -- I think he's been improving slowly, and this leaves them really short of options on the left.
- The referee, who I thought overly fussy, particularly the way he repeatedly penalized Crouch for the mortal sin of being tall.
- Those fugly yellow kits. Yes, I still hate them.

So, Liverpool weren't overwhelmingly great, but they didn't need to be. I don't want to take anything for granted, but they should be able to take it easy next week, seeing as PSV have effectively thrown in the towel already.

And finally, a gold star to (1) the ever insightful ESPN commentators who criticised Riise for pushing up too much, totally ignoring the fact that he was playing midfield and (2) TSN for contriving to cut off the first minute of the second half, which is particularly sad since it was tape delayed so it's not like they didn't know when they were coming back from the break.


AC Milan 2 - 2 Bayern Munich
This was roughly a thousand times more interesting than the Liverpool game. Very open, especially in the second half. I think Milan were probably the better team, but a draw is a fair result, especially considering that their second goal should never have been a penalty. Bayern did well to come back and equalize twice -- with two goals from defender Daniel Van Buyten, of all people, and it puts them in a good position for the second leg.

Milan will have to hope that Kaka has a better game -- yes, he scored the penalty, but he also missed a sitter earlier -- especially since Gilardino will be suspended, meaning that their options up front are reduced to 87-year-old Pippo Inzaghi. Gilardino I think must be cursed, because he absolutely could not score, between a great save from Rensing and then another goal being (incorrectly, I thought) ruled offside. Maybe it's karma catching up with him for that atrocious dive against Celtic.

Champions League Round of 16 Wrapup

I was a less than impressive three for eight in my predictions. But I'm quite happy with that, because in almost every case the team I liked better is through (the obvious exception being Chelsea, and even there I couldn't quite bring myself to cheer for Porto).

Liverpool 0 - 1 Barcelona (2-2 aggregate)
Yeah, they lost. But who cares? Because last year's champions are out and Liverpool are not. And now we do the dance of joy!

I was nervous before the game about how Liverpool would approach it -- whether they'd try to just defend their lead from the first leg and end up paying for it. And they did put on a very organized, disciplined display. Jamie Carragher was awesome once again (I could watch him make tackles like this all day, seriously), and the whole back line was solid, including Arbeloa once again playing out of position at left-back (which makes more sense than you'd think, since Leo Messi cuts inside onto his left foot a lot). They didn't spend the whole game sitting back, though. Liverpool actually had a lot more shots than Barca did, but they just could not hit the net. And I've made that exact same comment way too many times this season. More shooting practice, please, boys?


Tuesday's other games

• Valencia 0 - 0 Inter Milan (2-2 aggregate): Ok, you've all seen the fight, right? Watch it again anyway. It's not like there are any goals to tell you about. Plus, even though we're officially supposed to disapprove of this sort of thing, it's still tremendously entertaining. A twisted kind of credit goes to Valencia's David Navarro for actually breaking Nicolas Burdisso's nose rather than just flapping at him like a sissy, but negative points for then running away afterwards.
  
  
• Chelsea 2 - 1 Porto (3-2 aggregate): Chelsea were hardly dominant in this game, but they were also helped by some terrible goalkeeping from Porto's Helton, who made a complete hash of stopping Arjen Robben's shot. And hey, look at that! Michael Ballack finally did something useful and scored the winning goal. He's been well worth that gazillion pounds a week in wages, eh?
  
  
• Lyon 0 - 2 Roma (0-2 aggregate): Yeah, Roma still have no strikers. But apparently they don't need them.

Manchester United 1 - 0 Lille (2-0 aggregate)
Thank you, Henrik Larsson. If that was his last goal for United, it's a good way to go out. I really wish they were able to keep him, though; he may have only scored three goals so far, but they've been valuable ones. And all of a sudden they're short on strikers, with Louis Saha and Ole Gunnar Solskjaer out injured. And considering that Wayne Rooney is now their only option who (a) is fit and (b) hasn't spent the past year recovering from a horrific injury, maybe the thing to do is not strand him out of position and hope that he'll magically be in form. Yes?

No. Instead Sir Alex opted for the dreaded 4-5-1, with Rooney and Ronaldo on the wings and John O'Shea in the centre in place of Ryan Giggs. There are several possible reasons for this: resting Giggs before this weekend's FA Cup game; trying to placate Lille; giving a start to O'Shea in hopes that he'd repeat his heroics against Liverpool; and/or attempting to drive me around the bend once and for all. But whatever the reason, it didn't work out. Admittedly United were less defensive than they often are with this formation, morphing into a 4-3-3 when they went forward, but that flowing attack is still missing. They desperately need to get their attacking form back for the run-into the season, because they're going to be looking for goals from all over without a guaranteed finisher in the lineup.


Wednesday's other games

• AC Milan 1 - 0 Celtic (1-0 aggregate): Celtic's abysmal away record in Europe continues, but they put on a good show here, taking Milan to extra time before they were defeated by a brilliant goal by Kaka, which was the first time either side had scored in more than three hours of football.
  
  
• Arsenal 1 - 1 PSV Eindhoven (1-2 aggregate): Arsenal's season has gone to shit in less than two weeks, and it's all their own fault. This game was a microcosm of their problems this season: Trying to pass the other team to death rather than shooting, and then, when they did deign to shoot, terrible finishing. They probably would have gone through if they'd been able to score in either leg, but in fact their only goal came courtesy of a PSV player -- Alex, who also scored at the other end to put his own team into the quarter-finals.
  
  
• Bayern Munich 2 - 1 Real Madrid (4-4 aggregate): Real Madrid shot themselves in the foot right from the kickoff, as a mistake by Roberto Carlos let Bayern Munich in for Roy Makaay to score the fastest goal in Champions League history. Bayern went 2-0 up before Real pulled one back with a late penalty, but it wasn't enough as the Spanish side went out on away goals.

Quarter-final draw

1. AC Milan v Bayern Munich - Bayern have already knocked out one former heavyweight in Real Madrid. Can they do it again?
   
2. PSV Eindhoven v Liverpool - Probably the best draw Liverpool could have got, although they can't underestimate PSV.
   
3. Roma v Manchester United - This could be tricky. United should try to take the game to Roma in the away leg.
   
4. Chelsea v Valencia - Go Valencia. That is all.

Semi-finals: W1 v W3, W2 v W4

Champions League Round of 16: February 20

Lille 0 - 1 Manchester United
Congratulations, Lille! You have been officially awarded the prestigious title of Pissy French Bitches 2007 (previous holders: Arsenal). They are now (a) blaming Man United for the over-crowding in the away end and (b) claiming that the game should be replayed because the referee let Giggs's goal stand. Both of which are bullshit.

Let's start with the free-kick. Yes, quite often the referee tells the teams that they have to wait for the whistle to restart play. He didn't do that this time. So when Lille spent too much time faffing around setting up their wall and Giggs took advantage of that, they have only themselves to blame. It's understandable that they feel hard done by, especially since they'd previously had a goal disallowed for a push on Vidic, but reacting as if they were going to take their ball and go home is needlessly petulant. It's the sort of behaviour I'd expect in my rec league (where, instead of referees, you call your own fouls and the teams award each other "spirit points" after the game; yeah, it works about as well as you'd expect), not from professional footballers.

As much attention as is being paid to this -- and when I finally saw the game, I was a little disappointed, because I was expecting a bigger kerfuffle -- the more serious issue is the trouble with the away fans. There are conflicting reports as to what exactly happened, but basically: there were too many fans in the away section of the stands, possibly because of people using fake tickets, possibly because of stadium staff not actually checking tickets and just letting people in. Some of those fans felt that they were in danger of being crushed and tried to climb out, and the security people dealt with this by spraying tear gas at the crowd. Which, as you can imagine, was a big help. The whole thing is just boggling to me. I mean, having to segregate away fans behind wire fences is boggling enough in the first place, considering that I'm used to North American stadiums where you can sit anywhere. I can accept that it's necessary in other places, but if you're going to do it, isn't the point to make it less dangerous for the fans, rather than more so?

Right, so: Massive organizational fuck-ups aside, what about the game? Well, United started brightly enough, with lots of possession, but not enough of it was in the final third of the pitch. Although they lined up in the 4-4-2 I was hoping for (hallelujah!), they were lacking the final ball to the strikers or players really driving forward from midfield. Lille did a good job of harrying them and closing down space in the midfield; I thought Jean Makoun was their best player and it's easy to see why United were interested in him. Gradually, though, it was looking as if the game would peter out into a scoreless draw, until Giggs stepped up to give United a crucial away goal. Despit that, I hope they'll go all out to win the return leg at Old Trafford, because I thought a lot of their problem on Tuesday was due to their usual caution in European away games, despite the purportedly attacking formation.

Quote of the game, from one of the commentators after Cristiano Ronaldo was substituted after being effectively shackled by two defenders all night: "He's not a happy bunny, is he?" (No, he's not.)


Real Madrid 3 - 2 Bayern Munich
This was definitely the most entertaining game so far. (I can say that because I haven't watched Barcelona-Liverpool yet.) I'd predicted either no goals or a ton of goals; apparently a ton of goals it is. Both teams seemed to be taking turns showing off how badly they could defend, particularly against set pieces. Remember when Fabio Cannavaro won World Footballer of the Year? Yeah, me too. Vaguely. Bayern will probably be happy with the score, despite the loss, because the late goal from Mark Van Bommel to make it 3-2 means they need just a 1-0 scoreline at home to advance.

Quote of the game: One of the ESPN brain trust (I think for once it wasn't Tommy Smyth) praising Raul for outjumping the defender for Real's second goal. And neglecting to mention that said defender was Philip Lahm, who is quite a good player but is also approximately three apples tall.

PSV 1 - 0 Arsenal
Much like Real Madrid-Bayern, this was (cliché alert!) a game of two halves. Arsenal played their usual fluid possession football in the first half but couldn't capitalize on their dominance. PSV were pretty clearly playing for a draw, but I think Arsenal must have started to panic a bit at halftime when they weren't in the lead. As a result they didn't play as well in the second half, and they handed PSV a lifeline. I also read today that Thierry Henry has been carrying an injury, but I'm not sure that's enough to excuse him after another lacklustre performance in an important game.

Celtic 0 - 0 AC Milan
Both teams should be somewhat happy with this result: Celtic Park is never a welcoming place for away teams, but Celtic will be pleased to have kept a clean sheet and prevented Milan from picking up a useful away goal. Not so happy: anyone who watched the game, which was pretty dull aside from watching Gilardino falling down extravagantly.

Champions League Round of 16: Part 1

Once again, it's time for me to attempt to make predictions about the next round of games, so that I can look back in a couple of weeks and see how spectacularly wrong I was.

Up first: Tuesday's matches.

Celtic - AC Milan
I happened to catch the end of the AC Milan game this weekend, which featured three goals in the last 10 minutes and did nothing to dispel my conviction that all Serie A games are either utterly boring or utterly insane, with nothing in between. Ronaldo scored twice to help Milan win that game, but he won't be featuring for them in the Champions League, which is a problem because they don't really have any other fit strikers at the moment (and yes, I realize it's stretching things to refer to Ronaldo as "fit"). Celtic have the advantage of starting at home, in what's always an intimidating atmosphere -- just ask Man United about that -- and I think they should win that one, but I'm honestly not sure if they've got the quality to make it through over two legs.

PSV Eindhoven - Arsenal
PSV have been out of form recently, whereas Arsenal -- that mind-numbingly boring draw against Blackburn aside -- have been scoring freely. I expect them to win this one, although they may struggle away from home. Mostly it depends on whether Thierry Henry decides to act like a proper captain and put in a solid performance, or hang around near the touchline shrugging expressively. The other issue is the solidity of their back line, with Emmanuel Eboue out injured and William Gallas possibly coming in to the defence after a long layoff.

Lille - Manchester United
Lille are definitely the underdogs here, although they did give United a lot of trouble last year. But I think that was down to the Red Devils' own poor form more than anything else. They're looking a lot better this season, and I fully expect them to go through. The big question is whether Sir Alex will opt for a 4-5-1 formation for the away leg, despite the fact that it NEVER EVER WORKS. I'm also a bit worried about who's going to be in goal for United -- hopefully Edwin van der Sar will be back, because Tomasz Kuszczak didn't exactly convince me against Reading on Saturday.

Real Madrid - Bayern Munich
The latest in the meltdown at Real Madrid's is a rumour that Fabio Capello is about to quit. Bayern, on the other hand, have the advantage of already getting their coaching drama out of the way, after replacing Felix Magath with once and future manager Ottmar Hitzfeld. They also have Oliver "Most Terrifying Man In Football" Kahn between the posts. Just look at that face: Most opposing strikers won't even dream of scoring against him, they'll be so busy just trying not to wet themselves in terror. Bayern have to go far in the competition if they want to have a hope of salvaging their season, seeing as they're currently languishing 12 points off the leaders. Real are also stuck down in fourth place in La Liga, but with a slim chance of catching Barcelona. I think this one's going to be very tight -- either no goals or a ton of goals -- but Real will edge through.