Actual Transfer News Shocker

After weeks of nothing, Rafa Benitez has finally gone out and spent some money (he's also grown a dodgy goatee, but we won't dwell on that), dropping £26.5 million on Fernando Torres.

That's a lot of money, but Torres has been one of the most highly rated strikers in Europe over the past few years. He's quick, strong and skillful -- not to mention passionate about the team and a hard worker, which is why Rafa bought him instead of, say, Thierry Henry. Of course there are questions about how well he'll adapt to the Premiership and whether he's really the 20-goal-a-season striker that Liverpool need, but for the moment I'm cautiously optimistic. Plus, at the very least, it'll give me ample opportunity to make fun of his hair next season.

Man United, meanwhile, are reportedly negotiating with West Ham to buy Carlos Tevez for about £20 million. If the transfer goes through, it means that next season they will have the fugliest strikeforce in the history of the universe. Woo.

As with the Torres deal, that's a lot of money for one player -- especially considering that United have already spent about £50 million this summer -- but it's less of a risk, since Tevez has already proven that he can cope with the Premiership and, in fact, carry a team on his shoulders. And in both cases, it's reassuring to see the owners willing to pour money into the team for crucial players.

If I was playing fantasy football manager, though, I think I would have swapped these two transfers around -- Torres to United and Tevez to Liverpool -- because I have the vague impression that Tevez is too similar a player to Wayne Rooney. And also because Torres is taller, which, shut up, is totally a valid reason.