Thursday, June 29, 2006

Things we have learned from the World Cup this week

  • Losing on a last-minute penalty is probably the shittiest way ever to go out of the World Cup. I wasn't a huge fan of the Socceroos going into the tournament -- due partly to their inexplicable connection with John Travolta -- but you've got to feel for them. Particularly Harry Kewell, who apparently missed their final game because he was struck down with gout. Yes, gout. Like he's Henry VIII or something?

  • Switzerland make England look like a penalty-taking machine by comparison. Apart from that, they're extremely boring to watch, especially without Philippe Senderos running around all bloody.

  • Half the guys on the Ukraine team are named Andriy. What is up with that?

  • Brazil don't have to play pretty football to win. They just win. (Bastards.) Apparently this is fine for Brazil, whereas for England it sets off a national crisis.

  • I should have known that cheering for Spain was a bad idea. I blithely ignored all that talk about them being perennial underachievers, because they actually had a good team this year. They cruised through the group stage, and I started to really believe they could do it. And then what happened? They choked like the big choking chokers they are.

  • If Thierry Henry really believes that diving makes you a woman, then he should be out shopping for some new sports bras right about now.

  • Yes, I'm still bitter.

Meanwhile, Information Builders has been compiling the World Cup statistics that really matter. I'm sure you'll all be shocked to learn that Italy leads the tournament in diving, while Holland is #1 for tantrums. (Link from World Cup Blog.)

And now, I have to go figure out what to do with my fantasy football team. I'm tempted to sell all the English players, because then they'd probably win just to spite me.


Footie Fool said...

Oh, how I wanted Spain to do it this time - I really did. And I thought by having all that Prem talent in their lineup they would be able to.

And Thiery Henry - wtf? You put on a French shirt and all of a sudden you become some pathetic, sniveling, diving, whiny underperformer (and this coming from an Arsenal fan). I always thought he had some class, but this is pathetic. He might as well be Italian...

Jones said...

I think the difference between England and Brazil is that even when they're crap, they're still relatively convincing. Whereas England give off this impression that they're hanging on by the fingernails.

Oh Spain. You weren't even robbed by the reffing this time. But they're very young. 2008! (Yeah right.)

skribe said...

You missed a bit: unwarranted, controversial penalty. He should have been booked for diving. We'll be back. This time with four years prep, not eleven months.