Premiership Weekend Roundup: September 29-30

Birmingham 0-1 Manchester United
I'm running out of ways to say this: United didn't play well. They won. The end. This week, they were hampered by the injury to Edwin Van der Sar that forced him off at half-time, and I think that infected the whole back line, because there were some periods where they looked awfully shaky. The rest of the team looked inconsistent, too: sometimes they were passing sublimely (albeit with no end product; can we all just accept that Rooney and Tevez are too similar to play well together, and move on with our lives?) and sometimes they were chasing around after the ball like the proverbial headless chickens. Birmingham, meanwhile, defended doggedly but also weren't afraid to come forward and put pressure on United. In the end, though, United's goal came from a defensive lapse, as Queudreue switched off on a long ball forward from Ferdinand and let Ronaldo steal it and then skip around the keeper to slot it home.

Wigan 0-1 Liverpool
Another unmemorable game, where Liverpool put together some decent spells of possession but were unable to break though. Steven Gerrard looks like he's still kind of bothered by that toe injury, and Torres apparently used up all his goal-scoring mojo against Reading. (I think they're also missing Xabi Alonso; he's not the most spectacular player, but his passing is really what controls the way they play.) As in the Champions League game a couple weeks ago, it was super-sub Yossi Benayoun who made the difference with a great individual goal, as he did well to find space for a shot and beat Chris Kirkland. Still, with a bit better luck, Wigan could easily have come away with a draw.

Chelsea 0-0 Fulham
Oh, this just keeps getting better and better. A goalless draw at home to Fulham. Drogba getting sent off. John Terry's broken face. And, of course, all the behind-the-scenes drama. It's like Mean Girls as re-enacted by Chelsea FC. (Although I'm not exactly sure who is the Lindsay Lohan in this scenario.)

Other results:
West Ham 0-1 Arsenal
Portsmouth 7-4 Reading
Manchester City 3-1 Newcastle
Sunderland 1-2 Blackburn
Derby 1-1 Bolton
Everton 2-0 Middlesbrough