In which I actually pay attention to teams outside the Premiership*

So, the Premiership wraps up tomorrow, with Manchester United and Chelsea level on points after Chelsea's 2-0 win over Newcastle on Monday (damn you, Michael Ballack!). Fulham, Reading and Birmingham are fighting for their Premiership survival, and Everton and Aston Villa are going for a UEFA Cup spot. Everybody else is planning their summer holidays already. I'm just grateful that my family decided to do dinner rather than brunch for Mother's Day, so I can actually watch the games live.

One game I won't be able to watch is Milan versus Napoli, because I can't seem to find it on TV here anywhere. Bah. At least I got to see the derby last week, which was awesome, because Milan not only won, they killed them; the 2-1 scoreline really doesn't tell you how much better they were than Inter. (I don't know why they can't play like that every week; but I have a theory that they're sadistic bastards who like to torture their supporters.) Anyway, the win, combined with Fiorentina losing, meant that Milan have moved up into fourth place, which is nice, seeing as the Champions League is the only competition they really care about. Roma are now only three points behind Inter, but the nerazzurri can wrap up the scudetto if they beat Siena tomorrow. (Booo, hisss.) Parma, Empoli and Livorno are in the relegation places, but I don't think anything's been wrapped up there yet.

Real Madrid clinched the La Liga title last weekend with a come-from-behind win over Osasuna, despite having Fabio Cannavaro sent off early in the second half (didn't he use to be good? What happened?). I don't really love Real, but I'm still happy that they won, just because I do like an excited yelly Iker Casillas. Anyway, their win meant that Barcelona had to applaud them onto the pitch with a guard of honour during their match on Wednesday, which must have hurt. After which, Real thumped them 4-1, just to rub salt in the wound. Barcelona have slipped down to third place behind Villareal, while Atletico Madrid are three points ahead of Sevilla in the race for the final champions League spot, with two games to go. Murcia and Levante are going down, along with one more out of a whole bunch of teams.

In Germany, there's one week left to play in the Bundesliga, but Bayern Munich wrapped up the title last weekend and celebrated by pouring gigantic glasses of beer on each other, which is a tradition that I think more teams (including my own) should adopt. Werder Bremen and Schalke are the other two teams in the Champions League places. I would tell you about the teams being relegated, but frankly I don't know who any of them are so I don't much care.

* I'll bet you thought I meant the other leagues in England or something like that, right? Yeah, no. Setanta had the various league playoffs on all day today, but I skipped them all. It was too nice not to be outside on a patio with a couple several pints of beer.