Five Things Sven-Goran Eriksson Must Do to Win the World Cup

1. Find a natural left-footed midfielder. No, Kieran Richardson doesn't count.
   
2. Smack Rio Ferdinand upside the head and get him to pay attention to a game for 90 minutes at a time.
   
3. Follow up on those anger management classes for Wayne Rooney.
   
4. Lock Steven Gerrard and Frank Lampard in a closet with each other until they figure out how to play effectively together.
   
5. Remind David Beckham that he is in fact the captain, not the manager, and therefore he needs to sit down and shut up.
   

I was going to do a similar list of Five Things Sir Alex Ferguson Must Do to Win the Premiership, but I only got as far as:

1. Find the new Roy Keane.
   
2. Punch Jose Mourinho in the face.