I think United are actively trying to make me crazy.

I'll admit that I was a bit sceptical when I heard that Manchester United had signed a new defender, Nemanja Vidic from Spartak Moscow. Wouldn't that £7 million be better spent shoring up the midfield?

But after yesterday's game, it's looking like a much better idea. You just can't give up two goals against Birmingham and still seriously expect to be in the title race. I mean, come on: BIRMINGHAM. Currently being kept out of last place in the Premiership table only by the woeful Sunderland. My Saturday league team could probably beat them.

Okay, maybe not. But my Saturday league team plus Wayne Rooney might have a pretty good shot.

(Also, a little word of advice for Cristiano Ronaldo: quit whining and PLAY THE WHISTLE, for fuck's sake.)

Meanwhile, Chelsea pulled out yet another 1-0 win, and Arsenal thumped Portsmouth 4-0. (Harry Redknapp will presumably blame that on language problems preventing him from explaining to his players that the ball is meant to go in the other team's net.)

Not a good footballing day for me all around. Made even more irritating by the utter uselessness of the BBC's live text reporting. Defending throw-in by what's his name. Attacking throw-in by that other guy. Blah blah blah. Either put in some proper commentary, or just tell us when there's been a goal or a player sent off.

At least Liverpool won in the Merseyside derby, with Everton reduced to 9 men by the end of the game. While United are making me bash my head in frustration at how inconsistent they can be, Liverpool are doing their best to lure me away. I'm sort of torn, but I wonder if they're just trying to suck me in so they can disappoint me horribly in the future.