More odds and ends

"I am not someone who goes around trying to break people's legs. But football is a man's game that is played with power and force, not ballet." Shut up, Michael Essien. I've taken down guys bigger than you in a game. This would also be the point where I gloat about him being suspended for two games.

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It's official: Roy Keane is going to Celtic. Somehow I always suspected he'd end up there when he left United. I mean, could you really picture him at Real Madrid? With David Beckham and his ever-changing hairdos? I don't think so. And lining up against United with another Premiership team would have been equally unpalatable. You could argue that Celtic don't really need him at this point, but I think he'll fit right in with their chippy kind of play.

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After Manchester United's Champions League disaster last week, one of my friends said he expected them to destroy Everton at the weekend because that's how they normally react to a defeat. It didn't happen on Sunday, obviously, but they managed to get it together for Wednesday's game, thrashing Wigan 4-0. So they do know how to recover -- just not as quickly as one might like. (Same thing after they got schooled 4-1 by Middlesbrough at the end of October -- they were apathetic against Lille in their next game, and then rebounded to hold off Chelsea.) Maybe Sir Alex's temper tantrum at the press had a belated effect.

Also: A goal from Rio Ferdinand! Somewhere out there, a piglet is trying out a new pair of wings.

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Liverpool are through to the finals of the World Club Cup Championship Whatsit, after an easy 3-0 win over Deportiva Saprissa. The Costa Rican club is apparently known as the "purple monster," and I'm a bit disappointed that none of the players were wearing a Barney outfit.

Anyway, they'll face Sao Paulo on Sunday, and will be hoping to bring home a title that nobody, outside of the red half of Merseyside, really gives a damn about.

Jose Mourinho, though, will probably argue that it isn't a true world championship because a team from Antarctica wasn't included.

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I was out with my teammates having a pint after our game the other day, and we were talking about getting new shirts for next season. Someone suggested replica jerseys. But the problem is that we're pretty evenly divided between supporters of United, Liverpool, Arsenal and, um, Peterborough. So that wouldn't work. What about England jerseys, then?

Well, no. Because that would just mean we'd make it to the playoffs, and then go out in the quarterfinals.