Oh Ronniecakes

So now the walking, talking gel-monkey that is Cristiano Ronaldo has said publicly that he wants to move to Real Madrid. Let me tell you, this is about two things: money and ego. And the money, I think, is secondary to the ego.

Because despite whatever he may have said about it always having been his dream to play for Real, he's certainly not going there for footballing reasons. Real may be champions of Spain, but that's sort of by default, and they haven't got near the Champions League final in ages. You'll notice he's said absolutely nothing about wanting to move in order fulfill his ambitions and win trophies. No.

What he has said is that he wants to move provided that Real are willing to pay both him and Manchester United obscene amounts of money to make it happen. And I'm sure that Ronaldo would like very much to be paid twice as much as he is now, so he can go out and buy himself more black satin sheets and mirrors and whatnot. But what he'd like even more is to be the most expensive player in the world. Because if he's the most expensive, then he has to be the best, right? It's all about feeding that enormous ego.

So fine, whatever. If he wants to go that badly, then it's not worth trying to keep him. Ronaldo may not have learned this yet, but no player -- including him -- is irreplacable. Take Real Madrid for every penny of that 100 million pounds, and you can buy half a dozen young hotshots.

And then I hope that Manchester United meet Real Madrid in the quarter-finals of the Champions League, and the Galacticos get knocked out as usual. And then Ronniecakes can go home and cry on his mommy's shoulder.